social media is convincing all our kids they are nd?

Well I suppose the alternative is not fitting in then.

Ive read many a thread where a parent, normally of a younger child but also applies to teens, is critical of the child's peer group for not wanting to include their child, either as a friend or within a social group, or within a hobby or whatever

Another poster on this thread, cant remember who sorry, talked about her brother who sounds as if he has never been able to manage social conventions and hence has been in prison, jobless, etc etc.

To be 'your authentic self' when that authentic self pushes people away or makes you unattractive as a peer, friend, romantic partner, employee, isnt going to work is it?

Most of us dont want to surround ourselves with people who are awkward and odd, or who cant or dont want to join in, you make friends with people who you get on with and have something in common with and enjoy being with.

What is the better option, to medicate people so that they essentially do what is being claimed happens, masking but on a permanent basis with medication. Or to be their authentic selves which is likely to result in social rejection.

Buying clean socks and underwear every week because you keep forgetting to wash them on time. Same with using paper plates and cutlery.

Showing up an hour early for an appointment to make sure you get there on time, and not being able to do or think about anything else all day other than getting to that appointment.

Spending 100% of your time focused on work, and working until midnight every night, to make sure you don't make any mistakes or get everything done, because you can't concentrate hard enough to finish it during work hours, then burning out and leaving the job six months later. Rinse and repeat.

HTH.

It's because we're supposedly clogging up waiting lists and taking resources from other people

Alcohol and drugs

So he's also showing signs in school to gotcha
You are contradicting yourself all over the place.

Also under whst criteria did he Qualify?
If it was under SMI than it is only very recently ADHD has been accepted as condition that meets the arrested or incomplete development of the brain component, you would of course need to also have severe mental impairment
If it was under VUW than the child's behaviour would need to be so extreme rendering them virtually unable to walk
HRM is rightly extremely hard to get and you can lie as much as you want but you need EVIDENCE to back you up.

Self medicate with what?

there is a difference between less than ideal and neglectful. Also some kids get past the bad parenting some don’t.

He shows zero signs of ADHD except not behaving in school. Also he is able to behave in front of me and his grandparents. Basically everyone except his mum and dad.

be doesn’t have ADHD. Yet mum is pushing for it as an excuse for his behaviour.

I hate the ones that self diagnose ADHD. My daughters psychiatrist diagnosed her with CPTSD after a traumatic 5 years under a gas lighting gynaecologist, he was bloody awful.

The psychiatrist picked up that she was presenting ADHD behaviour, she’s struggled in lots of areas and often wondered. Ten months later on the waiting list with Psychiatry UK she has the diagnosis, but there is a shortage of medication 🥴

I look forward to the day that I don’t need to have another bloody key cut because she has yet again lost it, or loan her some money because yet again she’s lost her debit card, these things never materialise. She may be able to hold down a hobby, and actually use the gear she’s bought.

There are lots of incidences where I’ve thought why can’t she grasp such a simple task, or keep track of what she’s doing, she’s also dyslexic. Her money management is shocking, she has an IVA, and has put herself in dangerous situations. ADHD is real, it’s a shame that these social media sites undermine this and genuine sufferers aren’t always taken seriously 😐

Lots of kids have less than ideal parenting they don't get extra support in school.

You can evidence the need for reasonable adjustments in ways other than a diagnosis. For example, an OT assessment, an OH assessment, evidence from the GP or a clinical psychologist, an EP…

I am not saying a diagnosis isn’t helpful. I am saying reasonable adjustments are not dependent on a diagnosis.

In order to receive HRM DLA, you need evidence to support the claim.

Yes there is clearly an issue. It is bad parenting. He has been dragged up not brought up. His mum is horrible to him. It’s not his fault he is a lovely person but has been around not the best role models.

I am curious as to why it bothers people if others get diagnosis or seek diagnosis for something they might not have. I kinda understand the argument that it undermines people who have significant struggles but does it? My DS as I said earlier has diagnosis via NHS and I don't really mind if others with lesser symptoms seek a diagnosis. If future teachers are disinclined to believe his diagnosis because there are so many people with diagnosis I am not sure how that differs to today. Where I find his diagnosis helps is in medical settings. I don't find a huge benefit in school settings. My DS has quite obvious symptoms (not just of asd) and yet teachers seemed oblivious.

I personally am not worried about people seeking diagnosis even if they are misguided. I think there are way more people who could benefit from a diagnosis who don't seek it.

Absolute bollocks
My son gets HRM and I had to go to a tribunal ,this is a child who has Bern in a special school since he was four ,and at 15 is cognitively around 2 /3 so
You are talking crap.

@flawlessflipper i actually agree with you. But having a diagnosis does help build up a better picture in order to show your employer you ‘need’ reasonable adjustments.

how would you ‘need’ to work from home. Example could be that you struggle with public transport and strangers. An ADHD diagnosis backs up your need as a kind of proof for your employer. How else can you prove to your employer that you ‘need’ to avoid public transport?

Well if he's having support staff and special lessons than clearly school can ALSO see there is clearly an issue
Can't you see your contradiction?

@x2boys the mum tells us that she lied and over exaggerated the needs to get a car. The child is not disabled.

Reasonable adjustments, including working at home, are based on needs, not diagnosis. The Equality Act does not require someone to have a diagnosis in order to be covered by it.

A diagnosis alone doesn’t qualify someone for extra time. And, again, extra time is possible without a diagnosis.

Benefits are based on needs, not diagnosis. A diagnosis isn’t required, and a diagnosis alone doesn’t qualify someone for HRM DLA or enhanced mobility PIP (and this a motability vehicle).

Support is schools is based on needs, not diagnosis.

@CiffHang3r my nephew has support staff in school and special lessons in school for his ‘naughty behaviour’ which his mum is claiming is ADHD and trying to get a diagnosis.

what about the other ‘benefits’ from my post?

As has been repeatedly explained you don’t get those things for an ADHD diagnosis, you get them for identified needs. Diagnoses don’t get you support staff help in schools. Often those with identified need AND diagnosis don’t get support.

You don't need a diagnosis to get any of those things and even with a diagnosis they aren't guaranteed as it's based on your needs not the fact you have a diagnosis. How many times does this need to be repeated before people understand it.

If the person you know has a mobility car for ADHD than that's because their needs are significant enough to warrant it
My son is autistic and we have a mobility car but thst doesn't mean EVERYONE with a diagnosis of autism well be entitled to one

As has been repeatedly explained you don’t get those things for an ADHD diagnosis, you get them for identified needs. Diagnoses don’t get you support staff help in schools. Often those with identified need AND diagnosis don’t get support.

I should also add I have a friend who very obviously has ADHD and a family member either severe autism. I’m actually saying all the other people who are not severe are getting in the way of the people who truly suffer and minimising it for the true cases.

ADHD isn’t appealing however the ‘benefits’ you get socially from being diagnosed are great. some examples from friends and family

• a diagnosis is a good excuse for your kids bad behaviour when in reality it’s bad parenting (again in my family members case not all cases)
• Extra time in exams
• support staff help in schools
• someone I know does have a mobility car with ADHD
• reasonable adjustments at work
• Working from home

i do think it does a disservice to people who really have severe ADHD issues.

I was one of those women who got convinced I had ADHD. Interestingly now I’m on maternity leave my symptoms have mainly disappeared. In reality it’s being bored at my job and overwhelm from working full time and having kids and trying to run a house.

also it has been shown that ADHD symptoms closely align with symptoms of excessive screen time. Which most kids and adults do have!