social media is convincing all our kids they are nd?

There's nothing "lucky" about having a disabled child. Judging from your responses to others, your clearly going through a tough time. I am not and did not infer to gate keeping. Do not put words in to others mouths. Im sharing my experience on a public forum along with others.

Coming here to say the same. Two women in my work have recently told they are now diagnosed with ADHD, my best friend has been told by her therapist she has signs of ADHD. Seems like every second woman in their 30ies and their 40ies has symptoms now (including me!).

I've seen on a Facebook group a parent trying to get enhanced mobility pip for their child so the child has a car to drive. The child doesn't have a disability which affects their ability to walk but has ADHD

I'm genuinely confused how someone can be so severely disabled that they can't follow a familiar journey without help but can drive?

You self medicate and in the case of women you hide it. Lucky you getting a diagnosis for your boy at 6. My girl was ignored because girls can present differently which then often leads to severe MH struggles and hospitalisations. My daughter has been seriously ill due to ignorance re ADHD presentation in women and girls. It’s always the mums of boys who seem to want to gate keep from women and girls. Thankfully we are far better informed now and girls like my daughter are far less likely to suffer in silence.

ADHD really isn’t appealing, I suggest you inform yourself better.

Absolutley this all over. I keep reading that women of a certain age, ie my age! Are likely to be late diagnosed because we've masked all our lives and then menopause comes along and the wheels fall off and voila, it was ND all along and if only you had known blah blah blah

Actually women in their 50s are largely suffering from shit life syndome, that should be the diagnosis, caring for both kids and elderly parents, perhaps ending or wanting to end a relationship with their useless husband, over stimulated by the relentless demands of impossible jobs and the structure in society not being family or female friendly or actually human friendly.

We might be falling apart but its not ND

I've seen on a Facebook group a parent trying to get enhanced mobility pip for their child so the child has a car to drive. The child doesn't have a disability which affects their ability to walk but has ADHD

I'm genuinely confused how someone can be so severely disabled that they can't follow a familiar journey without help but can drive?

I am not saying anyone gets a formal diagnosis or medication based on that! I am saying why it is an appealing solution for people like me who do not have ADHD but who are struggling with a lot of competing demands!

OP was talking about people doing online quizzes and watching TikTok, and self-diagnosing based on that.

Great and for other women it’s late diagnosed ADHD. You don’t get a diagnosis for suddenly not being able to run a household. 🙄

Another one nodding along with you. My son was diagnosed ADHD at the age of 6. When a child that young is diagnosed you can only imagine the presentation.

As parents we are exhausted, holding down full time jobs and supporting him. Yet the popularity of such diagnosis takes away the actual difficulties he experiences on the daily and also the fact that he is disabled.
I feel that there are many people who view ADHD as either poor behaviour or lack of attention but it is so much more.

I also have a very close friend who is seeking diagnosis at 38. Yet is very successful in her field, home owner, mother. I did say frankly, why bother etc but she feels it will help her in asking for reasonable adjustments in the work place. My view is having a name to the issue doesn't remove the need, if you need an adjustment to function then how are you able to push on through whilst waiting?

Not just social media but the benefits system too. When you can get a mobility car when you’ve got a diagnosis and start driving at 16 there’s 2 big incentives right there. And yes I do know someone who had a brand new luxury brand car because of diagnosis. Not saying they aren’t autistic but pointing out that for some the money will be an incentive

So I can quite well see how that type of high-achieving woman can wonder if she has ADHD (obviously doesn’t excuse the snootiness). You are bright, you are effective, and then you have kids and a family and a house and pets and older parents, and suddenly you are doing everything badly and can’t give anything proper attention.

Far easier to have somebody tell you it isn’t your fault and give you a prescription for speed (which will make everyone, NT or not, better at focusing on things and getting stuff done), than it is to make your DH pull his weight at home, take a step back at work, and make your frail demented mum accept outside carers.

And I say this as somebody whose brother also has definite ADHD which has caused issues throughout his life, and I have often wondered if I have it too - but no, the actual problems is that I take on far too much at work because I don’t like to turn down opportunities, and am also juggling a child and housework with minimal help from DH. The house/child is fine when I’m off work (maternity leave was bliss), and the work is fine when I can focus on it (working late etc). It’s the combination that trips me up. That isn’t ADHD.

It's not great for proper ND families with proper diagnoses (not sure why but these threads always make me feel like I'm exaggerating my struggles even though me and my two DS's have NHS diagnoses). It means that it's very hard to access support and PIP is almost impossible to get.

I'm inclined to agree tbh, despite having a child and partner who are genuinely diagnosed with ASD/ADHD.

The difference between my 45 yr old brother (whose life has been severely impacted by ADHD but was only formally diagnosed last year after waiting 4 years for an NHS assessment), and the 40 odd yr old women I know who are getting private diagnoses and ADHD meds within months because they're scatty and get bored easily in a job...well it's indescribable.

These women have married, raised children, learned to drive, had jobs, bought houses, got friends, do their taxes - basically they run their lives competently. Whereas DB's life has been completely ruined by his inability to focus and concentrate. He's been in prison because of it. He can't drive because of it. He is completely unemployable because of it. He can't maintain relationships because of it. He can't handle his own life admin, he can't keep hold of a phone, he can't maintain a tenancy, you name it he struggles with it. He is truly and genuinely impaired in pretty much every area of his life, but he is still unmedicated because the waiting list for medication titration (even post diagnosis) in his area runs to years.

It's not the same thing at all. Thank fuck times have moved on enough that my ASD/ADHD child was diagnosed as an actual child and, alongside his special school, have been able to invest a lot of time and resources into teaching him coping strategies so that the impact on his adult life will hopefully be lessened. His presentation and needs are pretty much the same as DB was as a child but the difference is I know what I'm dealing with and are putting all the support in now to give him a much better chance at a happy and successful life. So I'm not against diagnosis at all, I just get irritated by people who don't really appear to be impaired by the traits they feel they have trying to make out they're in the same boat as people like DB and DS!!

It often comes at a cost though. They may be heavily masking and suffering from very severe anxiety which causes them to become ill.

"Neurodiversity" in itself is purely a social media invention, it has no formal scientific or medical definition

So I can quite well see how that type of high-achieving woman can wonder if she has ADHD (obviously doesn’t excuse the snootiness). You are bright, you are effective, and then you have kids and a family and a house and pets and older parents, and suddenly you are doing everything badly and can’t give anything proper attention.

Far easier to have somebody tell you it isn’t your fault and give you a prescription for speed (which will make everyone, NT or not, better at focusing on things and getting stuff done), than it is to make your DH pull his weight at home, take a step back at work, and make your frail demented mum accept outside carers.

And I say this as somebody whose brother also has definite ADHD which has caused issues throughout his life, and I have often wondered if I have it too - but no, the actual problems is that I take on far too much at work because I don’t like to turn down opportunities, and am also juggling a child and housework with minimal help from DH. The house/child is fine when I’m off work (maternity leave was bliss), and the work is fine when I can focus on it (working late etc). It’s the combination that trips me up. That isn’t ADHD.

Not just social media but the benefits system too. When you can get a mobility car when you’ve got a diagnosis and start driving at 16 there’s 2 big incentives right there. And yes I do know someone who had a brand new luxury brand car because of diagnosis. Not saying they aren’t autistic but pointing out that for some the money will be an incentive

And many are not that's my point.

Many bright people with autism are profoundly disabled by it.

Many bright people with autism are profoundly disabled by it.

Not just social media but the benefits system too. When you can get a mobility car when you’ve got a diagnosis and start driving at 16 there’s 2 big incentives right there. And yes I do know someone who had a brand new luxury brand car because of diagnosis. Not saying they aren’t autistic but pointing out that for some the money will be an incentive