social media is convincing all our kids they are nd?

I'm a middle aged woman, stretched between work, family and perimenopause. I don't see a difference between being told I'm neurotic or depressed back in the 60s or 90s and prescribed valium or antidepressant, and being told I'm ADHD and prescribed medication in 2025. In the end both diagnoses tell me it's something wrong with me - not with the bloody unrealistic employer, rubbish finances, family pressures, lack of support or poor health. Or pension age of 67. Or all of the above.

A large majority of prisoners have ADHD. Many also have autism and/or trauma.
Over 50% are also dyslexic.

The majority of prisoners are ND.

If you think about a young boy in school 10+ years ago with ADHD he would have likely been excluded or put in isolation etc and had his education disrupted in some way, which would have then impacted everything else in his life and can easily lead to prison.

"When you can get a mobility car when you’ve got a diagnosis and start driving at 16 there’s 2 big incentives right there"

No one gets a mobility car purely because they have a diagnosis of ADHD or autism.

Actually women in their 50s are largely suffering from shit life syndome, that should be the diagnosis, caring for both kids and elderly parents, perhaps ending or wanting to end a relationship with their useless husband, over stimulated by the relentless demands of impossible jobs and the structure in society not being family or female friendly or actually human friendly.

You assert this with such confidence, you must have some evidence to back it up?

Or is it just your feelings.

YANBU

But it comes from the adults.

Everyone is desperate to have a label.

I have just signed up to OLD and I’ve yet to find one profile that doesn’t have ‘ADHD’ or ‘autistic’ in the first couple of lines.

It’s weird.

Why would a random woman care about your diagnosis before getting to know you.
It’s like me stating that I have IBS or I’m colour blind.
I can’t help feel that it’s lining them up as an excuse for shitty behaviour.

in prison because of ADHD?

No, just more misinformation, 80 - 85% of the population are NOT neurodiverse. So only 15 - 20% of the population are. Being schizophrenic is still being human. it doesn't mean there doesn't need to be a diagnosis.

If you don't feel you need a diagnosis then why do you have one? You're not doing anyone who is ND any favours here.

Yes, but these people have to justify their own existence, by appearing knowledgeable, and gathering a fan base.🤷‍♀️

Yeah I have OCD and have heard that be put under the ND umbrella too, I don't think I'd classify myself as ND

Not my experience with my dc, no. But they aren’t allowed access to social media. Every woman in her 40s I know thinks she has or has sought a private diagnosis of ADHD though and literally attributes everything hard in life to ADHD.

Really a lot of us are simply burnt out post-COVID, need a career change, need to get divorced, need to look after ourselves, stop people pleasing. There are lots of things we need in our 40s to be happy and healthy, but ADHD meds probably aren’t that for 95% of us. But the women I know are all popping pills left and right and being jerks and then being like “oh sorry! That’s just my ADHD!” 🙄

When you can get a mobility car when you’ve got a diagnosis and start driving at 16 there’s 2 big incentives right there. And yes I do know someone who had a brand new luxury brand car because of diagnosis.

DLA/PIP/CDP/ADP are based on needs, not diagnosis. Not everyone with a diagnosis qualifies. A diagnosis does not mean someone qualifies for DLA/PIP/CDP/ADP, and when they do, not all are eligible for the high rate/enhanced mobility component. Luxury cars that are part of the motability scheme have an advanced payment attached to them that the person has to pay on top of the monthly cost.

As a teacher, we no longer use the official diagnosis in the classroom

The definition of SEN is set out in law and has not changed. It isn’t based on having a diagnosis. Support in schools is based on needs, not diagnosis. Same for reasonable adjustments under the Equality Act.

I just saw a video earlier today saying that if you got straight As in your exams it points to autism and ADHD.

I'd say if you had predicted straight As and fucked up the exams neurodivergence is more likely.

Thank you for beating me to it and calling this out for being the utter bullshit it is. It actually really scares me that there are teachers teaching our ND children who think this way. If by being resolute and determined not to let your child struggle through school silently until they become a school avoider, then I am very happy to be a pushy mother. But believe me, I'd far rather my dd hadn't had a complete mental health breakdown at the age of just 6. And no, I don't mean "just a bit of anxiety" I mean could not leave her bed, let alone the house. Because she'd been surrounded by teachers and a senco who kept telling us she was fine. Teachers like the poster you responded to, presumably.

Dyslexia is a type of neurodiversity, why would you think it's not? Because you don't want it to be? Well the Dyslexia Foundation and British Dyslexia Association disagrees with you! Dyslexia is a neurodiversity just like dyspraxia ADHD and ASD. I have all 4 conditions running through my family because being ND often runs in families and all 4 conditions are part of that.

You are mixing me up with another poster. I haven’t said anything about how my brother presents.

Yes it’s not kids wanting to be ND its either internet-enabled anxiety-wrought parents insistent the kids are ND or shit parents wanting a diagnosis to explain away difficult behaviour so they always have a fallback option to say “well he’s ND” to avoid having to parent. All of which detract attention and take away resources from those in genuine need.

Completely agree, and the entitlement amongst those who have self diagnosed is unbearable.

I remember a recent viral video where a young girl was raging that her job refused to accommodate her "time blindness" by basically letting her turn up to work whenever she wanted. It's ridiculous and only serves to make reasonable adjustments more unobtainable for those who actually need them.

Please do highlight my gate keeping? By asking a friend what she hopes to gain from a diagnosis? Am I stopping her referral, no. Am I telling her not to attend, no.
It's two ADULTS having a discussion, without throwing accusations around.
Discussions, even where people disagree can be healthy and should always be respectful.

Yep this.

If ypu are ND you are so much more likely to be bullied. Young people don’t want a diagnosis and yes often push back. We were told by CAMHs that it’s common.

Neurodiversity as a term predates social media as we know it today, it was used in a thesis by Judy Singer in the 1990's but may even predate her. There is always so much misinformation on these threads and a desperation to undermine or dismiss people with ASD or ADHD that i find it really depressing.

It’s not just kids and self diagnosis its plenty of parents as well, many of whom are no doubt of here. You see the posts on here all the time asking “is this behaviour normal?” And similarly the guaranteed response to pretty much any post concerning kids behaviour is “Is your child ND?” With the internet people have lost the ability to be confident and comfortable in their own decisions and parenting.

Oh we all heard loud and clear and how you think anybody else who doesn’t present like your brother should just dismissed. So ignorant.

I work in a secondary school and don't know any child that has decided they are ND due to SM, it just doesn't happen in the droves being suggested. No one wants to be autistic, they all know autistic kids (I have one) and the other kids are definitely not desperate to be labelled with ASD or ADHD. Many kids who potentially have ASD or ADHD really do not want to be assessed as teens or if they were assessed at a younger age don't want anyone to know (like DS). It is not the badge of honour that some people, for some reason, seem to want to think it is.

DS is working as a software engineer and juggling it with living away from home and doing a university degree, he gets on well with the people he works with. He was diagnosed at 10 by an NHS paediatrician who was amazed he'd got to that age without diagnoses - but there are people who would hear what he's doing and say there must be nothing wrong with him, it's autism lite or some other shite. He had no friends for the whole of secondary school, he will almost certainly never have a romantic relationship, he can't stand to be touched, he would never start a conversation with someone he didn't know, he finds people extremely difficult, his anxiety sometimes goes through the roof and/or he completely shuts down.

I hate these threads, they are always just a way to bash kids and adults with ASD and ADHD no matter how they are presented.