social media is convincing all our kids they are nd?

It's incredibly concerning you work with students when you don't believe professionals.

ADHD presents in many different ways. For some, the hyperactivity is internal, the mind can't focus or settle.

But anyone who has basic knowledge of the condition would know this.

Increased awareness means that some adults are diagnosed later in life and some girl are diagnosed earlier than they would have been previously. This is a minority though as autism isn't as prevalent as people would like us to believe for whatever reason. Adding: this is a VERY GOOD thing. As undiagnosed ASD and ADHD leads to poor mental health, no doubt.

However, while some adults are benefitting from recognising their ND even if later in life, so, so many are just full of it. Just because you're weird, anxious, have poor social skills and are overbearing does NOT mean you have autism or adhd. It perhaps just means you aren't that nice.

No, I suppose it's pretending? When all you really want to do is be disorganised? So as the pp said, scrabbling around being disorganised but trying to look organised. I agree it's tenuous.

What's interesting is the ADHD diagnosis is that you can't change the masking. Like, in one school of thought, masking would be thought of as something to change - to become more authentic essentially, but I think in ADHD thinking, it's saying masking is not something that can be changed. I think going back to why adhd diagnosis is something inherently concerning imo in children is because the whole narrative around it, is that it is fixed. Unchangeable. And given children are developing I think diagnosis should only be given if absolutely necessary.

No one gets a mobility car purely because they have a diagnosis of ADHD or autism.
My dd did

No it will be due to the difficulties the autism or ADHD caused. My son was diagnosed at 3 and already got DLA but he didn't get the higher mobility rate until he was much older.

Trying telling that to the autism and ADHD community battling with both. Autism is a protected disability .

but nobody can explain how it is possible to mask a condition defined by being unable to concentrate and control yourself. Masked ADHD is an oxymoron

Masking is present in lots of mental health difficulties I think. It's really taken off in the ADHD narrative recently.

In the past week I've been social-media-diagnosed with 3 types and neuro-diversity. On the plus side, I also have a genius level IQ apparently.

you haven't answer HOW it is possible to "mask" (ie control) condition which is defined by lack of control?

I deal with students with disabled by ADHD. Not one of them could "mask" for 30 seconds.

I think people who can "mask" need to stop saying they have ADHD. They may have something, but it isn't anything like ADHD. They need a different name.

Amphetamine addiction?!

I've never known anyone with an addiction forget to take said addiction 🤔

Surely if you were addicted part of that would be craving it to the point of not being able to not think about it this highly unlikely to forget to take it?

But then that's probably the case for most people who do have ADHD that take it.

It is very much possible as any ND professional will tell you and masking is part and parcel of ND particularly for women but it comes with a high turnover of burnout, mental illness and under achievement as a result. ND people live with difficulty all day, everyday and are often hugely resilient .

No offence, but it is this ignorance that is why so many people struggle.

All your energy goes into pretending everything is normal/fine.. "yes, I made that appt", "yes, I wrote that report" whilst thinking, what fucking appt. What fucking report. Then backtracking, checking, doing it hurriedly, missing details. Covering tracks.

Just one example.

If you're that interested, do some reading and research. Otherwise, keep judging.

This is the typical 'everyone's faking except my friend' problem.

Your DB might present one way, or you are more intimately involved in his struggles, but it doesn't mean everyone else is faking or doesn't have it.

I have severe ADHD, as do many family members - unable while unmedicated to drive, work steadily, manage a house, etc. I wasn't diagnosed until late in life because I put 100% of my effort into masking, and people who did see the problems just thought it was laziness/immaturity/dysfunction. Diagnosis and medication have changed my life.

I also have a high-functioning family member with AuDHD. If you didn't know her well maybe you would feel there was 'nothing wrong,' but you're not there to see the high level of support she needs, the masking and the breakdowns.

How can it be possible to "mask" ( ie deliberately concentrate on pretending you don't have) a condition that makes it impossible to concentrate and work on something consistently?

how can it be possible to "mask" ( ie pretend you don't have) hyperactivity? A condition that makes it impossible for you to stop being active?

"masked ADHD" is surely a total oxymoron

No disability isn’t just being varied

Some can. ADHD can vary hugely in its make up and severity .

I agree lots of videos online suggest ADHD for normal human idiosyncrasies which is in some ways completely unhelpful so in that sense yanbu.

The issue of diagnosis is an interesting one. Diagnosis can mean different things to different people. Some people love to be diagnosed - it provides support, care, adjustments, justification in some cases, a reason not to have to change anything as change can be difficult, an explanation for their anxiety. Some people hate being diagnosed - they feel boxed in, defined, misunderstood, and some diagnoses are actually a terrible burden - borderline or EU personality disorder (that's a whole other story) for example - and rarely actually attract the support or care that is needed.

And I think that's a thing. Like, what now? What after the diagnosis? Ok so someone has ADHD, what now? i think it's worth asking what's the point of it. And I think 20/30 years of medication use needs acknowledging before a diagnosis is fought for, particularly with children. Because 20/30 years of taking ADHD meds will not come without consequences. And that's often, in psychiatry anyway, what the result is. Psychiatry is basically assessment, diagnosis and medication, certainly currently, so I would certainly ask, again particularly regarding children, is there a better way?

As an aside, diagnosis itself, much as people like to assume it is, is really not an exact science, particularly in the areas of mental health and personality. 'Cracked' by James somebody is an interesting read on this issue.

It all stems from a lack of understanding that we, as a species, are varied.

So, there will be ND in, essentially, everyone! If you look hard enough, you will find something.

And I forgot to say, yes you can have a very successful career with undiagnosed and unmedicated ADHD. I did. But you have to work much harder to achieve the same.

Anyone who doesn’t know they have ADHD is at risk of all sorts of other health problems later in life due to the stress of working harder and masking. I’m late 50s, recently diagnosed. I also have ME (aka chronic fatigue syndrome) and I am now too unwell to work. My doctor’s theory is the added stress of being ND is one of the contributing factors to my having ME. I am also a domestic abuse victim. ND people are more likely to have this happen to them - and indeed my psychiatrist has written an article explaining why. If you want, I can look for it and put a link here.

Have you been on a bus recently? All you can hear is other people’s phones.

Well, as a recently diagnosed middle aged woman with ADHD it is pretty telling what many of you think of me.

I tick all the boxes of success: nice house, good career, 3 healthy kids, money.

I am also married to an insightful, supportive and empathetic man who looked at my behaviour and encouraged me to seek help.

My Dr said that I am at the most severe end, but am very acadamic and as a result have over compensated my whole life.

To give you a snapshot, growing up:

*Daydreamed constantly, couldn't focus in school
*Lost coursework, timetables. Missed meetings and appts
*struggled in relationships, no healthy boundaries
*went badly off rails at uni, drinking/drug taking, promiscuous/thrill seeking, party girl. Still made a 2:1 by cramming and staying up til early hours the week before
*neglected health e.g. eating/exercising to fit what was the nearest high...shopping, drinking, random guy

• co ercive relationship that went on far too long, very susceptible to being flattered etc. *missed interviews for important job. Zoned out in jobs in first few days as they were too boring. Got fired from numerous jobs. *can never find anything ever, despite constantly having tidying sprees and putting systems in place to stop this

I could go on, and on, and on. It has impacted everything.

I am also creative, highly intuitive, very intelligent and empathetic. So all I can do is work on the rest at length.

The meds are already life changing.

I dont see people wanting to improve their lives and seek diagnoses/learn about themselves is a bad thing. If anything, the more people know about conditions like these, the more generally understood it will be.

The judgmental tone worries me though. And a reason I've kept the diagnosis to myself other than close family.

Just sharing some love as this was is similar to my experience diagnosed at 38.

This thread is about "ND" diagnosis, and how easy it is to persuade people they have one