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AIBU?

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To delete this comment on FB about alcohol

91 replies

Frustratedfifty · 09/08/2025 12:40

DH and I went out last night. I took a photo of him in a wine bar and it was a really nice pic so I posted it on FB. Got the usual likes and a few comments about how he never ages (he doesn’t - annoying haha). One of my aunties commented ‘you two drinking again!’

This isn’t the first time she’s said something like this. For context we drink alcohol once or twice a week and I’m not someone who posts a lot about drinking. I post on SM a couple of times a month - mostly walks we’ve gone on, concerts or sport. She never comments on those - only when alcohol is visible or we are in a bar.

My aunty has given up drinking a while ago for health reasons (was told she had to). Prior to that she drank a bottle of wine every night for decades. So the hypocrisy is wild!

I’ve hidden the comment but apparently the person and their friends can still see it so my whole family basically. I know my mum will be upset about it. AIBU to delete it?

OP posts:
DublinLaLaLa · 09/08/2025 13:36

I think this is a ‘her’ problem. She can’t drink any more so is hyper focused on people who can. My dad gave up drinking about 15 years ago. He didn’t drink to your aunt’s levels but he drank more than recommended. He regularly polices comments on family members’ drinking (and none of us are big drinkers at all, maybe a glass of wine with a meal) It’s tedious.

IPM · 09/08/2025 13:29

"Yeah, cheers!" 😁🍻

This is what I (and I think most people I know would say).

Why has this struck such a nerve that you not only didn't reply in a light hearted way or ignore it, but you've actually come to Mumsnet looking for advice??

Goodness me.

RantzNotBantz · 09/08/2025 13:22

She probably thinks it’s funny.

Part of the irritating ‘jocular’ nudge wink trope of ‘a cheeky cocktail’ ‘wine o clock’ every birthday card for women a pathetic joke about Prosecco, same for men with beer.

Ignore (as in like every other comment except hers) or delete

Frustratedfifty · 09/08/2025 13:19

cyvguhb · 09/08/2025 13:08

I just googled to check and I think you may have misunderstood, I think it means that the person and their friends can see a comment if it's also posted somewhere else on Facebook. I'm pretty sure that if it's on your own post hidden means no one can see it

What would be the reasons not to simply delete?

I was wondering if I was being too sensitive. If it was a one off I would just think how strange but she’s making a habit of it so it’s annoying me.

OP posts:
Frustratedfifty · 09/08/2025 13:16

Doristheclitoris · 09/08/2025 13:08

I wouldn’t delete it, but from my pov it shows her up to be a bit of a twat really.

That’s what DH says. And that everyone in the family knows she drank heavily for most of her life.

OP posts:
glucagal · 09/08/2025 13:14

I would have deleted it straight away and change her to ‘acquaintance’ and set it up so she doesn’t see future posts but remains your friend so won’t notice. Unless she cross references with other family members in which case I would also downgrade the ones you think might tell her about your posts!

or create an album for socialising photos and don’t include her in the able to view list and only add photos of anything like this to that album.

DeirdreDragon · 09/08/2025 13:10

Reply and say ‘yes dear, you taught me well’

cyvguhb · 09/08/2025 13:08

Frustratedfifty · 09/08/2025 13:02

I googled and it says the hidden comment will be still be seen by the person who posted it and their friends. If you want it to disappear completely you have to delete it.

I just googled to check and I think you may have misunderstood, I think it means that the person and their friends can see a comment if it's also posted somewhere else on Facebook. I'm pretty sure that if it's on your own post hidden means no one can see it

What would be the reasons not to simply delete?

Doristheclitoris · 09/08/2025 13:08

I wouldn’t delete it, but from my pov it shows her up to be a bit of a twat really.

Gemmawemma9 · 09/08/2025 13:05

DollopOfFun · 09/08/2025 12:43

I'd be tempted to reply something like 'Yes! But don't worry, nowhere near your previous levels LOL'

This is brilliant 😂 but you’d have to be pretty brave to post it OP!
Otherwise just delete

ToKittyornottoKitty · 09/08/2025 13:04

Just delete it, she’s being rude. She will probably just think there was a glitch or it didn’t post properly

GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 09/08/2025 13:03

Why do you care. Just put a laughing emoji on it.

Frustratedfifty · 09/08/2025 13:02

cyvguhb · 09/08/2025 12:59

It's your Facebook , isn't it up to you what it shows? I don't see how a hidden comment can be seen though, that's not how it works for me

I googled and it says the hidden comment will be still be seen by the person who posted it and their friends. If you want it to disappear completely you have to delete it.

OP posts:
cyvguhb · 09/08/2025 12:59

It's your Facebook , isn't it up to you what it shows? I don't see how a hidden comment can be seen though, that's not how it works for me

Catpiece · 09/08/2025 12:52

I’d reply “Yep”

DollopOfFun · 09/08/2025 12:43

I'd be tempted to reply something like 'Yes! But don't worry, nowhere near your previous levels LOL'

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