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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To delete this comment on FB about alcohol

91 replies

Frustratedfifty · 09/08/2025 12:40

DH and I went out last night. I took a photo of him in a wine bar and it was a really nice pic so I posted it on FB. Got the usual likes and a few comments about how he never ages (he doesn’t - annoying haha). One of my aunties commented ‘you two drinking again!’

This isn’t the first time she’s said something like this. For context we drink alcohol once or twice a week and I’m not someone who posts a lot about drinking. I post on SM a couple of times a month - mostly walks we’ve gone on, concerts or sport. She never comments on those - only when alcohol is visible or we are in a bar.

My aunty has given up drinking a while ago for health reasons (was told she had to). Prior to that she drank a bottle of wine every night for decades. So the hypocrisy is wild!

I’ve hidden the comment but apparently the person and their friends can still see it so my whole family basically. I know my mum will be upset about it. AIBU to delete it?

OP posts:
Padz · 10/08/2025 18:36

I’d say “yes living our best lives! “

Begaydocrime94 · 10/08/2025 18:14

IPM · 09/08/2025 13:29

"Yeah, cheers!" 😁🍻

This is what I (and I think most people I know would say).

Why has this struck such a nerve that you not only didn't reply in a light hearted way or ignore it, but you've actually come to Mumsnet looking for advice??

Goodness me.

How dare you react in a way I wouldn’t, everyone should do and act exactly like me!

JackGrealishsBobbySocks · 10/08/2025 18:03

Man you guys are mean lol.

Auntie could be making a clumsy joke, she doesn't need to be reminded that she'll always be judged for her alcoholism she has taken steps to try to kick.

Butchyrestingface · 10/08/2025 18:01

DollopOfFun · 09/08/2025 12:43

I'd be tempted to reply something like 'Yes! But don't worry, nowhere near your previous levels LOL'

A variation of that would be

“Yes, but don’t worry. Not like a bottle of wine a night for decades or anything. 😉 “

JackGrealishsBobbySocks · 10/08/2025 17:58

Life's too short to get worked up about what aunties say on Facebook

333FionaG · 10/08/2025 17:57

DollopOfFun · 09/08/2025 12:43

I'd be tempted to reply something like 'Yes! But don't worry, nowhere near your previous levels LOL'

This is a superb response. Do it!

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 17:54

DollopOfFun · 09/08/2025 12:43

I'd be tempted to reply something like 'Yes! But don't worry, nowhere near your previous levels LOL'

This.

Or better still, ignore completely.

Welshmonster · 10/08/2025 17:52

I would not comment back as you will look like the AH as aunt will cry foul to family and you become the villain. Instead just use the privacy settings so it looks like she can follow you but can’t see any posts. I can’t remember the setting.
is there someone you can speak to or just speak to aunt directly and say you don’t like her comments and to stop.

if she doesn’t then block her.

kim204 · 10/08/2025 17:35

She's probably just a bit envious that she can't drink any more. Just put something like 'Oh yes, love an ice cold G and T on a hot summers day.'

CoastalCalm · 10/08/2025 17:13

I’d either delete or say you’re in training to get to her drinking levels - cheeky cow

LogiLogi · 10/08/2025 16:56

Yep, I would delete it as it annoys you. I would not give it air time by giving a PA reply or any response at all other than a deletion. I can't say a comment like this would bother me in isolation but these things are nuanced (e.g. she only ever makes comments where alcohol is concerned and ignores your other posts).

Then change the audience for this post and any others that she has posted on that have annoyed you, so she cannot see them. Be quite selective about what you share with her in future by putting her on your restricted/acquaintance list. I wouldn't do anything like blocking or confronting.

Julimia · 10/08/2025 16:50

Really! If you don't want comments don't post on Facebook book! Nothing to get het up about anyway. Comment says more about the originator than you.

JillMW · 10/08/2025 16:50

If your drinking is not a problem why would you even worry. I see lots of laughing comments on posts saying things like “ ooh on the Prosecco again” never would I have even thought that was a dig.

godmum56 · 10/08/2025 16:47

I'd unfriend her or put here on the restricted or acquaintance list. She won't know but you can choose what of yours she sees.
"You can use lists to organise your friends on Facebook. Using a list, you can post an update for specific people, such as your coworkers or friends who live near you. You can also see updates from specific groups of people (e.g. close friends, family).
You can add or remove friends from these lists at any time.

Your friend lists on Facebook
To help you get started, you have friend lists for:
Close friends: Friends that you may want to share exclusively with.
Acquaintances: People you might want to share less with. You can choose to exclude these people when you post something, by choosing Friends except acquaintances in the audience selector.
Restricted: This list is for people you've added as a friend but just don't want to share with, such as your boss. When you add someone to your Restricted list, they will only be able to see your public content or posts of yours that you tag them in.
You can also create custom lists to organise friends as you like. You choose who goes into these lists and what (if any) privacy restrictions apply."

FeelinTwentySixPointTwo · 10/08/2025 16:45

yep. We sure are. Not everyone has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. A couple of drinks now and then is fantastic fun for us and many others

Yep, do this... if you want to seem completely batshit.

Most of the "witty" responses suggested on this thread just come across as overly defensive and hyper-sensitive. Hey comment is best ignored as surely anyone who actually knows you in real life knows you're not big drinkers anyway?

Unless of course you are drinking a lot and your aunt's comment has touched a nerve, which is why you haven't just rolled your eyes and moved on already.

MissRaspberry · 10/08/2025 16:41

She's embarrassing herself by making a point of commenting on your very low alcohol intake. it probably bothers her that she's massively abused it in the past to the point that she is now unable to enjoy it herself without it having a huge effect on her health. If family members are noticing her sly digs they're probably privately laughing at the sheer hypocrisy of her unwanted comments

FreyaW · 10/08/2025 16:37

Frustratedfifty · 09/08/2025 12:40

DH and I went out last night. I took a photo of him in a wine bar and it was a really nice pic so I posted it on FB. Got the usual likes and a few comments about how he never ages (he doesn’t - annoying haha). One of my aunties commented ‘you two drinking again!’

This isn’t the first time she’s said something like this. For context we drink alcohol once or twice a week and I’m not someone who posts a lot about drinking. I post on SM a couple of times a month - mostly walks we’ve gone on, concerts or sport. She never comments on those - only when alcohol is visible or we are in a bar.

My aunty has given up drinking a while ago for health reasons (was told she had to). Prior to that she drank a bottle of wine every night for decades. So the hypocrisy is wild!

I’ve hidden the comment but apparently the person and their friends can still see it so my whole family basically. I know my mum will be upset about it. AIBU to delete it?

Delete the post or delete her comment?
Don't delete the photo...
In future do what I do .limit who can see the post when posting.."friends except" and put her name in. You can choose your audience for everything you post.

Littlejellyuk · 10/08/2025 16:37

lilylulus · 09/08/2025 17:12

Why delete it? I would reply with "Jealous?"

Love this ☝️ 💯 😆

Littlejellyuk · 10/08/2025 16:36

I would have said, yep! And don't worry, I will have one for you as well 😉

NewMrsF · 10/08/2025 16:31

I’d have pulled her up on it in the comments. How does she know you don’t have work colleagues or even your boss as a friend of Facebook! Comments like that could get you in trouble or at least have people viewing you poorly.

chipsaway · 10/08/2025 16:30

It sounds quite innocent to me. Someone has said this to me and I’ve said it myself. No offence intended. Another one I’ve heard is ‘are you two going away again?’

YourFairCyanReader · 10/08/2025 16:29

If your aunt has been told she had to stop drinking alcohol, is it possible she has been quite poorly as a result of alcohol abuse? Does she have cirrhosis of the liver for example which would have reduced her life expectancy? If she has had a serious wake-up call, she could be very aware of the risks of drinking alcohol and not want her loved family members to risk it at all. I would try to be a bit more sensitive about it. If you're not drinking a lot why is it getting to you? Just reassure her you're under the weekly recommended units.

SparklesGlitter · 10/08/2025 16:23

Leave it on. You’re posting a picture of the two of you having a lovely time. Fair play. It’s your profile. It’s not your oroblem that she can’t drink. I do find this with ex smokers and ex drinkers o who are older…they ramp up the judgement but at the end of the day she’s probably just holding up a mirror. I’d be inclined to reply with ‘…and having a really lovely time’

meganorks · 10/08/2025 16:22

Honestly can't see why it's bothering you. The people who know her, know shes the one who has had a problem with drinking. And people who don't know her wouldn't see any issue with the statement.

RafaFan · 10/08/2025 16:13

Just delete it. It's your FB page, you can delete comments if you want to. She probably won't even notice.

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