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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not allow my 9 year old to go to the shop in his pyjamas?

57 replies

MyKindHiker · 09/08/2025 11:21

Question is that really.

Will give some more context though as I’m really annoyed!

Husband and I are on hols with our two boys 8 and 9 in a place we come a lot. Safe small village, house we stay at has a little village shop round the corner the kids are allowed to go to alone from time to time to buy a drink or lolly as a holiday treat.

This year we have friends with us - single dad and his 2 daughters, 5 and 9.

Last night about 8 I’d got all the kids ready for bed, bathed and in pyjamas and watching a movie. Grownups were in front of the house (garden is on the front) having a glass of wine.

I caught my eldest having pinched some money from the house, with the elder girl, trying to sneak off to go to the shop. I said absolutely not - it was too late, we don’t walk round the street in our pyjamas, they didn’t need to be getting sugar, we don’t steal money from the house! To my mind eldest son was trying it on to impress his mate, absolute no. Anyway son then threw a strop and took himself off to bed (too bad, boundaries), but then the girls cried because I was being strict and they have never seen me be firm like that before and basically BOTH DADS thought I was being unreasonable! That I should have let two 9 year olds go to a shop at 8 at night, walking through a crowd of drinkers outside the local pub, both in pyjamas, the girl in a vest and pyjama shorts.

I think the dads just wanted a quiet life and to enjoy their sundowners in peace and if they let the kids do whatever they want so be it.

They both think I was too harsh and should chill out on holiday.

Tell me I’m not going crazy mumsnet… would you all let your kids go to a shop in their pyjamas?!

OP posts:
goplacidly · 09/08/2025 12:00

I wouldn’t let them. But my biggest issue would be the stealing and sneaking. Is there form for this?

MyKindHiker · 09/08/2025 11:58

@Bitzee @ComtesseDeSpair interesting. Yes absolutely combination of dreadful behaviour, which was dealt with swiftly and decisively despite the lack of reinforcement!

Though I did think the PJs were the cherry on the icing! I’d no more allow my kids to walk down the road in pjs than I would them to walk around in public in their underwear! But maybe I’m old fashioned like that. They always have to have faces clean, hair brushed, dressed before going out in public.

OP posts:
SaratogaFilly · 09/08/2025 11:32

Bitzee · 09/08/2025 11:26

Who cares about the PJs? The bigger issue is that they stole the money and were trying to sneak off without telling the adults where they were going. That would prove to me that they’re nowhere near mature enough for solo visits to the shop and they’d be banned from going without an adult for the rest of the holiday no matter what they were wearing or what time of day it was. The dads are ridiculous for not seeing why it’s a problem but you’re missing the point too by fixating on the pyjamas.

I agree with all of this, except the pyjamas as I agree with you Op. Pyjamas are for house / bedroom only.

BondAway25 · 09/08/2025 11:29

No, you're not being unreasonable!

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/08/2025 11:29

Can’t see an issue with the pyjamas. Most kids look like a sentient jumble sale whatever they wear, and a pyjama set isn’t manifestly different to a regular shorts and tshirt get up. Address the stealing and sneaking out issue: that’s wild behaviour for a 9-year-old.

Bitzee · 09/08/2025 11:26

Who cares about the PJs? The bigger issue is that they stole the money and were trying to sneak off without telling the adults where they were going. That would prove to me that they’re nowhere near mature enough for solo visits to the shop and they’d be banned from going without an adult for the rest of the holiday no matter what they were wearing or what time of day it was. The dads are ridiculous for not seeing why it’s a problem but you’re missing the point too by fixating on the pyjamas.

EchoedSilence · 09/08/2025 11:25

Kids going to the shop in pyjamas I wouldn't really care about. Stealing money and sneaking out I would care about.