To not allow my 9 year old to go to the shop in his pyjamas?

So many lazy fucking parents prioritising alcohol over their children. That’s what that was about. They didn’t want to do any parenting, it was their me time with their cheeky beer/ Prosecco/ rosé/ cocktail.

Our mums used to take us in a group to Butlins every Whitsunday or around that time for a few days. They had a great laugh themselves but managed this without drinking their own body weight in alcohol. Now it would be unusual not to.

If I was looking for vulnerable kids to target, the ones wandering down the road in their pjs on their own while their parents were drinking back at the house would probably be top of my list.

I’ve got a 9 year old. I’d be furious at the stealing and sneaking out. I think it’s shocking the dads weren’t that bothered. On the pyjama point, I’d not be keen but it would pale into insignificance compared to the other two issues.

You are absolutely right on all fronts.

If I saw children out alone in their pyjamas I'd think 'shit parents'

You did the right thing. As a pp said, I'd be very concerned If I saw them. I'd wonder if they were being neglected and as I firmly believe that when it comes to children it's better to report and be wrong than do nothing and be right, I would probably have called the cops.

I don't let DS go out in pyjamas, the only time has been in the car when we've gone to pick DH up from the station and it was almost bedtime but he wasn't getting out of the car.
In this context though I think people are saying they wouldn't be bothered because the other things take priority rather than their children are all wandering about in pyjamas

You are on holiday so can relax pyjama rules.

The PJs are the most minor item on the list!

Stealing- I’d have been seriously angry about He’s old enough to know this is very wrong.

Sneaking out - children don’t always risk asses well. I’d having a long a serious discussion about the hundreds of ways that could have gone very very wrong.

PJs - flat rule of we don’t go outside in our PJs.

I wouldn’t care if your son was grumpy or the girls cried - upset misbehaving children are part of parenting.

You need to get a handle on the stealing right now.

You know you’re right just stick to your guns - what happens the next night when they want a 9pm stroll or the next or the next

I have let my DD go to the shop in pyjamas. She wears them out the house sometimes e.g. after an evening swimming lesson she will put pyjamas on to go home (in the car) or sometimes she will have a shower at her grandparents house and travel home in her pyjamas. It doesn't therefore seem a big deal to go to the corner shop. This is in trousers and a long sleeve top though, so more covered up than her daytime clothes!

I would be horrified at the idea of them sneaking out though. That's a risk because you would leave them longer without checking on them if you assumed they were in the house.

I wouldn’t be that bothered about the pyjamas but I wouldn’t have let them go to the shop alone at that time of night either - and stealing money from the house was naughty.
I would have said you can go in the morning if you behave tonight!

Regardless of PJs two DC of those ages stealing money and trying to sneak out should be the focus here. Since he doesn't like your style of parenting don't look after his DDs Op, let him get on with it, you're on holiday too so if you have to parent so does he.

Grrrrr posted twice.

Young child (7 or under) are absolutely fine to be in PJs in a service station in the evening. That is very different. They will be with parents and on a one journey when they will be going to sleep.

Walking around a village not on. What is it about being on holiday that makes people forget the basics? I doubt the dads would be ok with this at home on a regular day.

I couldn’t get too fussed about the pjs in the face of stealing and sneaking out - the pjs wouldn’t even register.

YANBU sneaking out without parents at night especially in PJ's is not on. You might feel that it's ok as you're in a small village, but nowhere is really that safe these days.

so not only did these two men leave you to do all the work and the parenting, they then criticised how you did it?! Cheeky fuckers!!

Not a cats chance in hell would I let DD go to a shop on her own at any time of day. I don’t care how safe and quiet it is- and it clearly isn’t if there’s a pub or bar there with men drinking.

No. Yanbu. No person, child or not should ever be out of their home in pajamas. It’s a strict no. I too would think parents were neglectful.

Why the hell are you doing all the work? Why are you taking any notice of a guy who's drinking and not taking care of his children telling you what you shouldn't and shouldn't do? Those children sound like a bad influence on each other. Sneaking out at night is absolutely outrageous behaviour. Sneaking out in pyjamas after stealing money is really awful. I would've come down so hard on them and on the knobheads who thought it was funny.

Regarding the PJs, I guess it depends what they look like. My DS had pyjama sets that were obviously pyjamas. But he had other sets that were basically plain shorts and a top and no different to any other shorts and tops.

We used to do a regular long drive, set off at 4 with him in his PJs. Arrive at 10.30, straight to bed. In between there was a stop at services for dinner, so he was in the services in his PJs. In the winter they looked like snuggly long leg pyjamas.

I bought a pj set from M&S and the bottoms were legging style. I have worn them out during the day as they don't look like pyjamas.

But all that aside, stealing money and sneaking off is not acceptable and you dealt with it exactly as I would have done.

I agree with you entirely OP, and would have done exactly the same. It does no harm for children to see you being firm and following through- they will all respect you more for it and know you mean what you say. Sorry to hear you weren’t backed up by the other adults.

A bit off topic buy I took my kids out in their PJs once when they had to come to work with me, I’m a freelance Merchandiser. They were refusing to get dressed, I called their bluff and said ‘right you can go on your PJs. I thought they would rush and get changed. Unfortunately it didn’t have the desired effect, they didn’t care

You’re right on all counts. And perhaps remind the dads concerned that Holly and Jessica in Soham snuck out from a family barbecue and time was wasted because people didn’t think they would have done that… children that young shouldn’t be going out without your knowledge, and in pyjamas would definitely make a predator think that parents weren’t on the alert.

Meh pjs are clothes.