Do childless couples have better sex lives?

Are you bragging that you have weekly sex at a time that most people are home and available for sex? I'm confused. I'm also confused that anyone has the exact body shape as when they were 18 and isn't 19.

My body is still pretty decent. I expect menopause will change it far more than pregnancy and childbirth did.

The issue is more available time. I was never much of an evening sex person, more in the morning. That’s pretty much impossible with young kids. It’s not that much fun when you’re constantly listening out for small people on the move or shouting out for you.

In your twenties, but have 1985 in your username? Interesting.

Just be honest with the woman you're with and say:

"I don't want to have children. I'm trying to convince you to think the same so I've gone on Mumsnet for proof that having children makes your sex life crap. This is because I am such a red hot lover, I'm certain the thought of less sex with me will override any desire you might have for children"

Problem solved.

The whole premise of the OP is that sex life is based on the hotness of the female partner. So unless the OP is a lesbian (and I don't know who any talk like that), I think we know the OP's sex

Oh man don’t say that!

For us, probably yes.

We've got more time, more energy, and my body is pretty much the same at 41 as it was at 18 - I'm exactly the same size and shape and have had the time, money and inclination to maintain an exercise regime my entire life.

We often have Sunday afternoon sex because we can.

Are you male or female?

Perimenopause is having way more impact than pregnancy/childbirth/kids did. I lost the "baby weight" after DS quite easily, was back in size 10 etc. The weight gain in perimenopause is horrendous and I can't shift the tummy!!

I think you’re starting from the wrong premise if you think having a body that hasn’t birthed children is what’s central to a good sex life. I think sex-drive, lifestyle, health and good communication are better predictors. I think having small children means that couples’ sex lives always almost take a hit. But whether that means childless couples have better sex over a lifetime or not, I don’t know. It will depend on so much.

Mumsnet used to be full of witty intelligent posts, and now we get threads like this full of post like this shit.

"Skinnier wife" that's the key to good sex.

Or posts from childless women talking about their sister's broken child bearing vaginas, charming. If the sex were that good, it wouldn't all be ONS my friend. You/they would want to go there twice.

I had the most active sex life when TTC our first, does that count?

Less interruptions and more spontaneity, surely that alone is better

Ok, well kids stand a good chance of ruining your sex life for a while, but the way your body has changed (which can be minimal you know) is likely to be far down the list of reasons.

Depends on the couple and the ages of the children etc and the same for the childless people! Me and DH have always had a good sex life. Our kids have now moved out and our sex life is a bit up and down (no pun intended) because of my libido changes in perimenopause. The shape of my body and his has never made a difference to our sex life and we have both been thin and fat over the last 23 years.

I don't even know what that means 😂

Definitely. Even when the kids get older they stay awake longer and by the time they are asleep so are you. If anything it was easier when they were younger

Not for those reasons (for me anyway) but wouldn’t that be normal? I had a way better sex life before I had kids!

I’ve had 2 csections, so no change to my vagina for birth reasons. But children in the house is a dampener.

My eldest has now moved out and my second spends a lot of time at her boyfriends, empty house and things have picked up quite dramatically woo hoo!!!

I have child free siblings and wider family and aesthetically/physically we have aged on the same tragectorty.

It's genes and a bit of lifestyle.

Whenever theres discussions about child free Vs parent lifestyles though, the young child period is so disproportionately heavily weighted

And as a parent who is long past that period, much as it felt endless and vast at the time, it was really such a short episode in our lifetimes (unless you have 20 kids!)

I think this when things like happiness is compared too.. are they comparing parents of 30 year olds to child free couples?

Financially YES you plan differently and live differently even with full grown adults children, but sex? Bodies?

Are we really claiming that childbirth is the only thing that ages a body, and child free 65 year olds are nubile slim and pert?

And that having sex as an empty nester is nothing like the sex child free couples of the same age are having?

So no, I don't think child free couples have better, or more sex over the course of their marriages and lifetimes

They might not have pregnancies and births, or toddlers or wayward teens.. but there'll be plenty of other ups and downs: times of stress, variable health, mental health, other life upheavals, aging, changing....

And I think that any long term child free couple that imagine children as a permanent passion duller, are going to struggle to overcome whatever else life throws at their relationship and sex life.