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Original poster

Mortified by DH’s behaviour in Asda

547 replies

EllyRoff · 09/08/2025 09:01

Went to Asda yesterday afternoon - ours has a pharmacist in there and DH needed some Laxido so we went across. The woman serving said they didn’t have laxido but they did have movicol which is the same thing with a different name. DH asked her if the ingredients is exactly the same as he has to be very careful with what he takes (true) so she went off to check with the pharmacist. Whilst she was gone DH was looking around him all anxiously and then as she reemerged she walked over to him smiling - he promptly sticks two fingers up at her and then runs off!!! Leaving me stood there like an absolute clown. I was mortified, apologised profoundly to her and walked away. Later caught up with DH who had simply gone back to shopping in Asda as if nothing had happened. His excuse was that he was scared to take something different but was feeling pressured and didn’t know what to do so legged it. I asked why on earth he swore at her and he said he “just panicked”. I’m still furious, my mum thinks I’m over-reacting a bit but DH can do no wrong in her eyes. Am I over-reacting??!

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 09/08/2025 10:43

@EllyRoff has he got his medication yet?

Bunnycute23 · 09/08/2025 10:42

Lauralou19 · 09/08/2025 10:37

If you stick your fingers up at anyone (unless its clearly a joke between two friends - thinking of teenage boys in the playground here), its abuse.

Im so glad no one in my family would ever treat another person like that. If I went into a shop and was unhappy in anyway with the service, i’d just leave. If it was something really bad, then there’s the option to speak to a manager. No one should ever be sticking their fingers up at anyone in a public facing role.

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I think you're overreacting.

CustardySergeant · 09/08/2025 10:41

RosieCockle · 09/08/2025 10:08

Did you apologise to the pharmacist? I know it wasn’t you who acted like a complete twat but it might have taken the edge of for her if someone who witnessed it said something.

Why are you asking this when the OP said in the first post "I was mortified, apologised profoundly to her and walked away."?

researchers3 · 09/08/2025 10:39

Fragmentedbrain · 09/08/2025 09:08

I assume you will never be having sex with him again because I don't think he has capacity to consent.

😁

Henbags · 09/08/2025 10:39

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 09/08/2025 09:11

No not really. I'm autistic, and I have an infantile sense of humour. If that qualifies as "not right" then meh, whatever.

Yet he's still without the medication he needed.
Ohhh what a joker eh?!

Plenty of other shops around, it's hardly the end of the world.

Are you joking?

No. I'm entirely serious. The world would be a far better place if more people acted the clown more readily rather than walking around with massive sticks up their arses all day, every day.

Hmm speaking to a pharmacist about a medical condition, exactly the time to act a fool...

There's never a bad time, and all scenario can be funny/comedic.

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Are these the options then? Either act the clown or walk around with massive sticks up our arses? Why not just collect the medication you requested and say thanks? There’s always that option.

Lauralou19 · 09/08/2025 10:37

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2025 10:31

That is not even remotely similar.Context and intent matters,

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If you stick your fingers up at anyone (unless its clearly a joke between two friends - thinking of teenage boys in the playground here), its abuse.

Im so glad no one in my family would ever treat another person like that. If I went into a shop and was unhappy in anyway with the service, i’d just leave. If it was something really bad, then there’s the option to speak to a manager. No one should ever be sticking their fingers up at anyone in a public facing role.

NellitheNelephant · 09/08/2025 10:36

Is there a male equivalent of mumsnet? And do they carry a plethora of posts about women's selfish, childish and downright idiotic behaviour? Or is it just men who do these things? Asking for a friend.

Bunnycute23 · 09/08/2025 10:36

Bunnycute23 · 09/08/2025 10:35

Not abuse, no. Just being a cock womble. As OPs have said, I'd be concerned about his mental wellbeing.

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And. No. Why would flipping the bird to a teacher be abusing a policeman?

MrsSunshine2b · 09/08/2025 10:36

That would seriously concern me if it's out of character for him. I'd be thinking there was a brain tumour or something.

Henbags · 09/08/2025 10:36

So he obviously didn’t actually need the Laxido then if he just “ran off”?

Is there any better way to immediately get “the ick”?! 🤢

crumblingschools · 09/08/2025 10:36

@LoremIpsumCici so when he does similar behaviour when drunk can that be excused too. Also if this was a real panic attack wouldn’t he be upset by his behaviour when he had time to calm down and reflect back

OneAmberGoose · 09/08/2025 10:35

Abused 😂 having two fingers stuck up at you is hardly being abused. Don’t be such a wet weekend. Probably gave her something to go home and talk about for a change. I worked in retail for a long time and stories like that made my day, a mad customer was always a reason for a laugh. Take the rod out your backside and stick a smile on your face for a change x

Bunnycute23 · 09/08/2025 10:35

Lauralou19 · 09/08/2025 10:29

So if a parent stuck their fingers up at a teacher (for not being happy with something at school), you wouldn’t say that’s abusing the teacher? Or a policeman?

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Not abuse, no. Just being a cock womble. As OPs have said, I'd be concerned about his mental wellbeing.

istheresomethingishouldsay · 09/08/2025 10:31

I couldn't stay married to a man who acted like a spoiled child.

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2025 10:31

Lauralou19 · 09/08/2025 10:29

So if a parent stuck their fingers up at a teacher (for not being happy with something at school), you wouldn’t say that’s abusing the teacher? Or a policeman?

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That is not even remotely similar.Context and intent matters,

Mummypie21 · 09/08/2025 10:31

Very odd and I'd be worried about his mental health/capacity. Even my 7 year old would know that isn't appropriate even when stressed or nervous. Maybe ask him to visit his GP to check there isn't anything else going on (that might lower inhibitions/cause impulsiveness).

ElizabethG81 · 09/08/2025 10:30

This is the same OP whose husband didn’t know whether she was the beneficiary of his pension or not, and had advised her to leave the NHS pension. She disappeared from that thread too.

Lauralou19 · 09/08/2025 10:29

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2025 10:25

It was rude, but not abuse imho.
OP is unreasonable to still be furious about it,
in the moment sure, but hours and hours all the way to the following day?

If the sexes were reversed, we’d be calling the partner still furious at his wife for panicking in ASDA abusive.

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So if a parent stuck their fingers up at a teacher (for not being happy with something at school), you wouldn’t say that’s abusing the teacher? Or a policeman?

5foot5 · 09/08/2025 10:29

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 09/08/2025 09:53

Very true. You don’t get this sort of behaviour in Booths.

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😂

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2025 10:28

Robin67 · 09/08/2025 10:17

Yes, poor men. They already have it so tough. There has to be a medical explanation for his dickish behaviour. He must be given more love and support and never made to feel bad for his bad behaviour and he must not be made to feel like he is in the wrong. Sure the gut microbiome is important, but it's not so simplistic as constipation causes normal people to morph into twats.

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🤨 literally I said there may be more going on than simple constipation and as a matter of fact constipation is one symptom of many more serious medical conditions that can cause this type of bizarre behaviour.

In addition, the man himself said he panicked and his actions support that. I’m not reaching, I’m going off the evidence,

Unlike you who is assuming “dickish” intent.

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 09/08/2025 10:27

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 09/08/2025 10:24

Surely this will wreck your kidneys though?

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Oh, are you one of those who takes everything literally? I’ll make a note for future reference if so.

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2025 10:25

Lauralou19 · 09/08/2025 10:23

Ive worked in retail, hospitality (restaurants and bars) and now healthcare. There is a zero tolerance approach to abuse at my work and someone sticking their fingers up at you is abuse. Im not saying she would be a blubbering mess but its horrible to be sworn at when she’s gone into work to help someone. If someone does that, you are also left wondering if they will come back again during your shift.

Retail is a vulnerable job which is why ive said there should be zero tolerance to abuse. The best thing they can do is not serve him if he comes back, tell him he’ll have to go elsewhere.

Or he could go and apologise quietly to her (with the manager there) and move on from a pathetic incident.

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It was rude, but not abuse imho.
OP is unreasonable to still be furious about it,
in the moment sure, but hours and hours all the way to the following day?

If the sexes were reversed, we’d be calling the partner still furious at his wife for panicking in ASDA abusive.

thepariscrimefiles · 09/08/2025 10:25

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2025 10:13

Yes, but real life always falls short of the lofty ideal of all customers being perfectly mentally well, and perfectly mannered at all times. Honestly, he wasn’t abusive. He had a panic attack. In a pharmacy section. This is nothing to be ashamed of or furious about or for staff to take personally,

You are more angry on this thread than the OP’s DH was.

All this anger at a man suffering a panic attack (possibly his first ever one) is not warranted and frankly, kind of ableist.

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Is him saying that he panicked the same as having an actual panic attack? OP found him going round Asda with his trolley as though nothing had happened, so he recovered pretty quickly if so.

According to the NHS webside, which provides a long list of panic attack symptoms, swearing at shop assistant by sticking two fingers up at her isn't one of the symptoms.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 09/08/2025 10:24

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 09/08/2025 10:22

I tend to take everything with a pinch of salt. It keeps me sane.

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Surely this will wreck your kidneys though?

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2025 10:23

crumblingschools · 09/08/2025 10:17

@LoremIpsumCici he carried on shopping as if nothing had happened, that’s not a panic attack. And has behaved similarly when drunk.

Of course it can be. Once the environment causing the panic attack is gone, the sufferer is able to stabilise themselves.

Behaving similarly- meaning giving a V- when drunk is meaningless because people giving Vs isn’t always due to the same cause/reason.