I am divorcing ‘D’H.
He repeatedly lost his temper and engaged in verbal abuse towards me and DC. Got Social Services involved and he’s better with DC now. He knows they are old enough and will talk if it gets bad.
We are living separately but staying at the family home when we are looking after DC.
We need to get a valuation for the house.
I want to divide up the Estate Agents and each show different ones around. I don’t want to see him in person if at all possible.
I’m happy to pick which EAs we show round randomly and insist on all communication being done via email for us both to see. Im happy to have a witness there to oversee me. I’ve told him this.
He is insisting we both be physically present to show the EA round.
I am noticing that not seeing him is leading to me feeling much more settled. When he sends me nasty messages (blaming, critical, name calling, involving others who he says all agree with him that I’m this/that or the other) I get a physiological response. Seeing him does the same.
Having had several weeks now without seeing him all of my digestive symptoms have gone. They briefly return at every nasty message but I can manage it better when it’s just written.
I haven’t told him this (just said I’m prioritising my wellbeing) but in the past I have told him he scares me because of his very rapidity escalating rages over small
things.
He says I should just be ‘adult’ about it.
He is accusing me of being up to no good and that it’s controlling and is insisting we are both there. He says the norm is to both be there.
If you know people that have divorced or you have, did both of you/them show the agents around?
AIBU to keep my boundary and not join him at the house?