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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hot tub

112 replies

Chickenlicken468 · 09/08/2025 04:53

AIBU
My mum and husband bought a hot tub, knowing full well her only grandchild who is 18 months won’t be able to use it. He is obsessed with water and baths and I kno if he saw me in it he would desperately want to get in and would get upset because he can’t.
my cousin and her two kids are staying with them end of the month and the plan was for me and my son to go over as we only see them twice a year. They are 5 & 7 so will be going in the hot tub, a long with my cousin, mum and auntie I would assume. Obviously I’m not going to go in in front of him because it’s super unfair and I would feel awful the fact he’s missing out but he will still see the others go in and I dunno it just feels really mean and doesn’t sit right with me AIBU

OP posts:
Original poster
Chickenlicken468 · 09/08/2025 05:32

@autienotnaughty hi 👋🏼 thank you for this. most likely there a whole day so they will definitely be using it, how much I’m not sure, hopefully not constantly though. I’d like to think the adults would have the decency to say wait until my son is occupied or asleep as it’s unfair but I don’t hold out much hope. I can’t just not go round as he will miss out on seeing them so 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 09/08/2025 05:30

Are you actually saying they shouldn't have bought it because it's unfair on your child?

If so that is nuts

Spies · 09/08/2025 05:29

Chickenlicken468 · 09/08/2025 05:25

@Spies do you have a child/children? Or are you of the generation of me first kids last?!

Yes I am a parent but that's irrelevant. You're basically doing exactly the same by acting like everyone should put your child first..

He's not even two yet there's lots of things he can't do. Why should everyone else make their choices based on your child?

Original poster
Chickenlicken468 · 09/08/2025 05:25

@Spies do you have a child/children? Or are you of the generation of me first kids last?!

OP posts:
autienotnaughty · 09/08/2025 05:17

How long will you be visiting for? If it’s just a couple hours I’d expect them to not use the hot tub first the duration of your visit. If you are stopping over then I’d just go entertain him away from the hot tub if they are using it. They won’t be in it constantly surely?

PollyBell · 09/08/2025 05:14

Viot · 09/08/2025 04:58

Why can't he go in it?

Because it is not safe

Original poster
Chickenlicken468 · 09/08/2025 05:14

Not an obsession for me at all, was actually against the idea having seen a friend own one and lose interest in it after a year, waste of money IMO

OP posts:
Spies · 09/08/2025 05:13

Your parents are adults and it's not their responsibility to make sure every purchase is suitable for your child. They're entitled to buy a hot tub.

If he wants to go in it you say no, the same way you say no if he wants to walk down a busy street without holding your hand or get a toy at the supermarket when you're doing your shopping etc.

Original poster
Chickenlicken468 · 09/08/2025 05:10

At this age babies are still unable to regulate their body temperature so can easily over heat, the company who installed it said no use for under 5’s. It also states this on nhs website

OP posts:
GreenWheat · 09/08/2025 05:06

This is bonkers. Why can't your DS go in the hot tub?

PollyBell · 09/08/2025 04:59

It's a hot tub I dont see the obsession but no I dont see an issue nor why everyone has to be able to something for it to happen

Life goes on

Viot · 09/08/2025 04:58

Why can't he go in it?