Hot tub

could you meet at a local play centre instead? Somewhere away from the house?

Yabu

Is the question AIBU to think my mum is only allowed to buy things for her home that benefit my son? If so, yes.

The world doesn’t revolve around your toddler 🙄

This is completely batshit. I hope it's made up to be honest.
Your Mum and her husband can buy whatever they like for their own home.
Your child won't care about not being in the hot tub if you distract him with something else while the others are in there.
It's unlikely that they are all going to sit in the hot tub all day while you are there. The other kids will get bored for a start.
You can get a paddling pool for him to play in.

Honestly, if you're genuine, you need to take a look at yourself. Not everything revolves around your child.

If other kids are going in just ask your parents to lower the temp a few degrees. It'll feel like a bath so your LO could go in for 20mins. If they keep it too hot then the other kids will probably get out as well anyway

This is wild. You want to dictate what others do in their home and garden incase it upsets your toddler? That’s mad. How entitled are you! You sound a nightmare if that’s how you think.

Your child is going to have a really stressful childhood if at 18 months he's learning not to cope with not being able to do everything that bigger kids can!

This thread in bonkers.

You're correct that your 18 month old shouldn't be in a hot tub. But surely you must realise that there will be loads of things that a child of that age can't do. Pretty much everywhere you go he's going to see older children doing things he's not ready to do yet. That's just how life works!

It would be absolutely madness to fall out with your Mum over this. Even the most loving and attentive Grandparent wouldn't instinctively hold off on purchasing something for their house or garden purely because their GC isn't old enough to use it yet. That would be insane.

Get a little paddling pool for your DS, you can take turns supervising him in that while others go in the hot tub. If he gets upset, he gets upset. You find something to distract him. Toddlers get upset about all sorts of things because they haven't learned to regulate their emotions yet. It's your job to help him learn to manage big emotions, it is not your job (or your Mum's) to shield him from any experience that might be potentially upsetting, disappointing or frustrating.

Whatever you do, don't ruin a nice family occasion by sulking or making comments about your DS being left out. You'll come across as completely unhinged.

This is an absolute abomination of a post. The poor child. You just know it's going to grow up as a spoilt entitled brat if it's parent thinks the whole world should revolve around their child. Give your head a massive, massive wobble, you are being utterly ridiculous.

There are things in life that will upset your child, you can’t avoid that. You can distract him, play with him - presumably someone will need to be with him so everyone won’t be in it at the same time. There will be lots of things he can’t do that other people can, the more matter of fact you are about that the more he’ll be able to cope with disappointment when it comes.

Why don't you just take something with you that he can play with water in? A small paddling pool with just a shallow bit of water maybe. Obviously someone would have to be watching him, but with an 18 month old you have to be watching them pretty much all the time anyway. Take some toys or different sized tubs for him to fill and empty and hopefully he'll have a great time.

You are correct an 18mth old shouldnt be in a hot tub.

However you are being unreasonable that your mum shouldnt have bought one. Your child behaviour is for you to manage. If they want a hot tub they can get a hot tub.

If you are worried about him overheating , stand outside of the tub and sit him on the edge, so he can dangle his feet in it. Or take over a paddling pool, just for him and put it along side the tub. Would that work?

I just wanted to add that not all the adults will fit in the hot tub at once surely so you can all take turns supervising the paddling pool and having a go in the hot tub. It's not like you will totally miss out.

This.

If you bring a paddling pool with some toys you'll probably find that all the kids think that's a bit more fun than the hot tub

🤦‍♀️ He’s 18 months old, he can go in it when he’s older. He also can’t go on rollercoasters or drink alcohol but I’m sure you do those things in front of him. Don’t worry about it, he’ll live.

Yes you’re being unreasonable.

You said that it feels really mean? What do you mean, are you saying that your mom has bought it on purpose knowing your son can’t go in it?

Do you tell the bin men they can’t come down your street because he wants to drive the bin lorry too?

What do you do when you go to the park and some of the play equipment is for older children?

What do you say to him when he wants food or drink that he can’t have?

It’s their money and they can spend it on what they want. You don’t have to go in it. You are expecting them to not buy something they want when but you need to make the sacrifice of not going in for the sake of your child.

my only experience of a "hot tub" in UK was that it was almost cold, and not cozy or fun at all. Having grown up with redwood hot tub in the household in California in 1970s...

I wouldn't want temp above 33-38 myself so not seeing huge issues as long as it has a good fitting cover.

Kindly, you are going to have many situations as your child gets older where you have to say no even if he wants something. Your parents are allowed to purchase items for their home. I understand you dont want your child getting upset but this isn't logical. They have to learn that they cant have everything they want too.

I didn't mean leaving him in the paddling pool while she got in the hot tub, I just meant so he isn't trying to get in the hot tub as a distraction.

Wind up thread. Got to be.

Keep the temperature lower than a baking potato and kids can be in it. Our 2 year old was in for a whole summer - kept it at around 32. Nice and warm but no where near baking or what we would have wanted as an adult.
it’s more the chemicals and a reaction from them you need to consider rather than the temp (which you control manually). Good luck.