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Original poster

Volunteering nightmare

117 replies

Oliveoiloli · 08/08/2025 17:54

AIBU I think I have made a massive mistake. To get my DC into a much sort after childhood activity I volunteered to do some admin for the charity free of charge. My DC loves the club BUT my small bit of admin has turned into me being on call 24/7 basically acting as the offsite caretaker for the charity. I am already working full time and I’m beyond overwhelmed but feel so guilty- they are adamant DC can’t keep his place unless I volunteer but these people are trampling over boundaries. I am happy to do what I signed up for but being constantly contacted is driving me mad. I put an out of office on and now they are calling my personal phone. What do I do? Do I just find a new club for DC?

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 08/08/2025 18:16

It has to be something like scouts. Why will
your son lose his space? What is their reasoning?

Gymmum82 · 08/08/2025 18:14

100% sure it’s scouts! Just don’t answer and start saying no. Sorry I’m busy. Sorry this wasn’t what was agreed. I’m happy to do X but I’m afraid I don’t have time to do Y. Don’t be scared to stand firm

ClaredeBear · 08/08/2025 18:12

Can you elaborate on their position? For example, how many hours must you do in order to keep your son’s place? I hear of many, many volunteers doing the job of two people but there aren’t conditions attached. How bizarre.

Yabberwok · 08/08/2025 18:11

Go back to them and say "ok....but I've got all the important data, if you don't agree to fuck off I wipe it. How dare you black mail me, I will post everything on social media recommending no one gets involved and contact hq with my complaint "

Stand up. Tell them to fuck themselves

ComeTheMoment · 08/08/2025 18:11

Quite. Is everyone on call 24/7 or is it just you? It sounds like an almighty piss take and I’d be taking my DC out of there.

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 18:10

Bananachimp · 08/08/2025 17:56

they are adamant DC can’t keep his place unless I volunteer
What? That cannot be what they're saying? I would not be held to ransom like that

This.
You are being taken advantage of.
Who said EXACTLY that they can't be in it if you don't volunteer at this level?
Email them directly and query it.

Is every single parent volunteering like this?
If not why not?
Put it on psper.

Fairislesweater · 08/08/2025 18:07

Is it scouting? I did it for years but you need very firm boundaries!

budgiegirl · 08/08/2025 18:06

Bananachimp · 08/08/2025 17:56

they are adamant DC can’t keep his place unless I volunteer
What? That cannot be what they're saying? I would not be held to ransom like that

Well, they can say this if the DC jumped a waiting list in return for the OP agreeing to volunteer. But the amount of volunteering should be as it was agreed when first taking on the role.

OP, set your boundaries, based on the voluntary role you understood you were taking on in the first place. Tell the organisers when you can be contacted and how. Be quite clear about how much you are prepared to do, and stick to it. It's really unfair for them to be bullying you in to doing more than was originally agreed upon.

SnackAckerTack · 08/08/2025 18:03

does every parent have to volunteer?

fiorentina · 08/08/2025 18:02

I find voluntary work can definitely creep if you don’t set boundaries.

I know many clubs rely on the goodwill of people and it’s often the same few, which is high pressure.

Be clear what you can offer and what you can’t and take it from there. Are all other parents given a role?

Twistedfirestarters · 08/08/2025 18:01

What is the activity? Do they have any governance as in, are they a national organisation with a head office you can appeal to?

The whole thing sounds shoddy. There should be a proper process for kids to join not a system based on bribery and blackmail!

SoScarletItWas · 08/08/2025 17:58

Email them and say as your role is admin, you are contactable only by email. Set out your duties and the times you are available to do these tasks. Reiterate you are more than happy to provide this voluntary work; I look forward to our next meeting etc etc.

Block their number on your personal phone.

Done.

That's what I would do.

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 08/08/2025 17:58

Be clear with your boundaries and prepared to walk away if necessary.

Skissors · 08/08/2025 17:58

Short answer - yes, find a new club for your dcs.

No way would I be putting myself out that much!. They sound disorganised like many charities.

They are taking the piss.

ThejoyofNC · 08/08/2025 17:57

How did they get your personal number? Who is calling you? This is completely out of order.

Meadowfinch · 08/08/2025 17:57

I'd block their number but stick to the help you originally offered.

Then if they get nasty, move your dc to another club.

Bananachimp · 08/08/2025 17:56

they are adamant DC can’t keep his place unless I volunteer
What? That cannot be what they're saying? I would not be held to ransom like that