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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really worried about marbles around DD1

33 replies

EmmaThompsonsTears · 08/08/2025 17:53

Last Christmas, my husband wanted to buy a marble run for our 3yo DS. At the time, DD had just turned 1, and was at the stage where she was putting EVERYTHING in her mouth, so I told him I’d really prefer it if he could wait a year or so, because I was worried about choking. Especially as marbles go everywhere, and they’re the perfect size and shape to get lodged in a child’s airway.

DH had a massive tantrum, and said that my anxiety was making me controlling, and I never allowed him to parent the kids. However, he didn’t buy the marble run.

Fast forward 8 months, DS is now 4, DD is 20m, and DH and I are separated after I found out he was having an affair.

I dropped the kids off at the in laws (where DH is now living) for childcare today, and DS proudly shows me his new…marble run. Complete with about 20 marbles.

I didn’t react at the time, but DD still puts lots of things in her mouth for a laugh (DS is much more sensible), and DH knows full well how I feel about this choice of toy while our children are so little.

So over to you.

Firstly, am I being unreasonable to be worried? I do suffer with anxiety and am having therapy for it, so it’s sometimes hard for me to tell what is and isn’t unreasonable when it comes to child safety!

Secondly, should I say something? And if so, what? I feel quite angry, but I also acknowledge that, now that I’m divorcing him, I have no right to control what happens when the kids are in stbExH’s care. So I’m at a bit of an impasse.

thoughts welcome!

OP posts:

hmmimnotsurewhy · 08/08/2025 18:37

He’s an arsehole and no wonder he’s an ex.

yanbu in the slightest bit. My ds is 10 and begged for marbles but we have a toddler and I’m not taking that chance.

send him a message stating how dangerous this is as your dd puts things in her mouth, and if he chooses to ignore this then the blame will fall on him should anything happen.

Bitzee · 08/08/2025 18:19

My 4YO got a marble run when her brother was only 1. But it’s in the category that I’d deem ‘bedroom toys’ along with lego, sylvanians etc. that were not allowed to be played with in the living space because it’s just too big of a risk that a mobile/baby young toddler will put it in their mouth. If DD wanted one of us to play with her we’d go up to her room which sometimes meant waiting until nap time or both parents being around but we had loads of other safer stuff that could safely be played with downstairs so she wasn’t hard done by. YANBU at all. I would definitely say something.

Edwardbear1 · 08/08/2025 18:16

You aren’t unreasonable at all. I’ve just told my 7yr not to bring little bouncy balls into the house today as her little sister might put them in her mouth.

marble runs are 4+ or something, totally unsuitable for 1-2yr olds!

PolyVagalNerve · 08/08/2025 18:14

Marble run is for 4 years +
clearly it depends on the child, reliably able to not put marbles in mouth -
the H sounds like a right dick

GoodVibesHere · 08/08/2025 18:11

My DD loved playing with marbles when she was around 8yrs plus. Some people may think that's a bit old, but actually some kids get far more out of things when they're older. There's no need to let little ones be around marbles, there's just too much at stake if it goes wrong and they decide to pop a marble in their mouth. There's a duty to protect young children from choking.

Pinkywoo · 08/08/2025 18:10

There must be a minimum age on the box? Maybe say to him you're more than happy for the kids to play with it, as long as they're over the safe age stated by the manufacturer!

Original poster

EmmaThompsonsTears · 08/08/2025 18:06

coxesorangepippin · 08/08/2025 17:56

You are totally not being unreasonable

Why marbles still even exist, I do not know.

Mega, mega dangerous

My kids never had them when little as they too put everything in their mouths

Thanks, this is validating! I remember having loads of fun with marble runs as a kid but absolutely not at this age, more at 5 or 6+. Would you say something?