Aibu for being unhappy my in-laws are putting a dog "first"

Op is being unreasonable.Op’s child is not a regular stay over visitor, she stays for 5 days once a year There’s lots of posters on here, who can’t stand dogs, so really would never understand, a dog, is dare l say it, part of of someone’s family, no doubt that will anger people, but it’s true.Op has said, she doesn’t really want her daughter to go, stay with her in-laws.So what’s the real issue here!
Op doesn’t want her daughter to go, her in-laws are not or are unable to make other arrangements for their dog.It’s unreasonable, to expect someone to make arrangements for their dog to leave, just because, the dog, jumped up once and left a scratch
Complete over reaction.

Your 7yo doesn't need to move out! It's not her house, it's her grandmother's. I think it's kind of the grandmother to offer the option of staying with your DD elsewhere.

So, if no reason was given, you don't know the reason. Just because they haven't told you if the dog is injured, ill, having an operation (whatever) doesn't mean it can't be true. If they haven't told you the reason then you don't know what the reason is - so you can't know if it's a completely fair and valid reason.

Ok. So what reason did they explicitly say to you was the reason why they've chosen not to move the dog out?

Although, it's irrelevant because you don't want her going either way🙄

If the dog was just being boisterous and it’s where he lives, I’m on the fence. It’s harder to send the dog somewhere else than for MIL to stay somewhere else with your daughter. They are actually accommodating your wishes the best they can

That's not a reason though. Why do you feel that way? Why would a 7yo care if she's with Granny at Granny's house or with Granny at Uncle Neville's?

Also, OP has decided that Granny has an issue with BIL and the dog. We have no idea if that's the case. The dog has been sent out several times before. It could be that the dog has an injury so can't be in a kennel or that the kennels were booked up or that the person who usually takes the dog is away... We have no idea and nor does OP so it's just guessing. Basing the entire outrage on something that's been made up isn't a sensible way to behave.

How about DH pays for MIL and DD to go on holiday for the 5 days if he needs his rest so badly?

This thread is a.bit surreal. Ultimately a.mother has the right not to send her 7-year-old into a situation that she is not.comfortable with - for any reason whatsoever, or indeed for no reason at all. If you don't want your DD staying at the house of someone neither you nor she knows well, just say so, the.dog is almost a red herring at this point.

The problem - as is so often the case - is a DH who would rather not say no to mummy dearest than support his wife. Honestly @GD12 since you don't want your DD to go, keep her at home and let your DH deal with any arguments or fall-out. In future your MIL will have to come up with arrangements that work for you, or forego the week with her GD.

@GD12 YANBU.

If your MIL wants your DD to stay for a week then she needs to make her home safe. Your BIL and his dog can go elsewhere - at 40 years old i'm sure he can manage this.

Why doesnt your DH invite his brother and dog over the same week so your MIL can have quality time with DD?

It would be a big no from me. MIL can come and stay at your house to see her GD- there’s no need to shuffle a small child around the houses to avoid being mauled by an aggressive dog. You don’t need to appease a wheedling family by treating your daughter as though her needs and safety don’t matter.

I wouldn't accept a 7 year old staying a week with some random relative she barely knows because grandma won't tell her pathetic excuse for a son to put his badly behaved dog in a boarding kennel for a week.

It's one thing staying at grandma's house like the child does every summer. It's something else entirely to stay at Great Uncle Neville's house when she doesn't know him from Adam.

In our case it was grandma's half feral rescue dog, completely unreliable particularly around children.

I understand you not wanting the dog to be around your daughter but I don’t understand the fuss about daughter and grannie staying with the other relative for a few days. I’m guessing it’s a close family member to your mil, like a sister or cousin, not a random stranger.
. I’m sure this is much more about your resentment than real concerns for your daughter’s wellbeing. And if I’m wrong about the latter, maybe it will help your daughter build resilience and social skills getting to know this family member better.

I’d keep her home - you’ll be on tenterhooks all week, just not worth it!

Nonsense. Imagine prioritising a great dangerous brute of a dog over their own grandchild.

Could your dd and granny go off somewhere together for a few days? A B and B by the seaside maybe? That way it is a proper holiday not going to a relative to avoid the BiLs dog.

You're not at all unreasonable not to want your daughter to be in the same house/room as this dog.

Though if its a Staffie its not a giant, they're a small/medium breed/if its a giant sized dog it isn't a Staffie.

They are not unreasonable to prioritise a dog that lives with them over a child who does not.

You don't have to let your kid go though - if you don't think it is safe, say no.

As a canine professional - there is absolutely no fucking way I would let a small child go to a home with a big dog that jumps up, isn't friendly, and is owned by people who don't appear to understand dog behaviour.

Quote - or murder if it has bitten someone before

Does your MIL realize your daughter is a human being and not a library book?

This

I’d make this the one summer that ‘oh I'm
not having you go to all that trouble of moving into Aunty Jane’s - we’ll see you at Christmas.’

Make both the presence of the dog, and the change of location, a non negotiable. And don’t worry about fall out. They have a choice. You choose your DD’s well-being. What do they choose?

Sorry but people who put a dog’s convenience above their own grandchild don’t deserve to see their grandchild imo. It’s pathetic.

Dog should have been destroyed anyway, if it is that aggressive. I never understand people who make excuses for their horrible feral pets. I think that the law should be that if your dog kills someone you are charged with manslaughter.

It's the dogs home , yabu