Aibu for being unhappy my in-laws are putting a dog "first"

@GD12 can you just send husband instead for his 'week's rest'?

Op is the one using 'gas lighting’ behaviour, she doesn’t even know the breed of this dog, but has decided to call it a Staffordshire bull terrier calling the dog a dangerous dog, jumping up once, when the dog was probably a pup, doesn’t make it a dangerous dog.
Yes, she’s the parent of course her concerns are valid, however, she is coming across as unreasonable
getting annoyed, because her in-laws won’t or are unable to remove their dog from their home.
Now that’s entitled behaviour.

This is less about the dog and more about annoyance the DD is not seen as an overriding priority.
If the dog is massive if it jumped up and scratched DD's chest when she was 4 it cannot be that large height wise.
The dog lives at the MIL'S full time why should he have to move out?
Your MIL and her family are being more than accommodating, I think you should be more grateful and less entitled but no doubt I will be in the minority.

Just say no.

If it’s the dog’s home you can’t expect it not to be there - that’s unreasonable

Lol these threads are always fucking crazy. Ofc you're not unreasonable. In normal families, grandchildren stay at their grandparents because...a novel concept to some on here...a lot of families actually like spending time with each other. It's not about free childcare. It's about families have positive relationships, ffs. People acting like having a grandchild for 5 days out of a whole year is some massive favour are wild. Do people not want to spend time with their grandkids anymore??

It's obviously not unreasonable to expect a grandparent who wants to look after their grandchild to consider the safety of pets. Yes, dogs are part of the family, but sending a potentially aggressive dog away for the week is something most normal people would not consider an issue.

Assuming you get along well, I don't know why anyone would prioritise their dog over a young relative for the sake of one week.

Probably the person who normally has the dog doesn't want it again after last time.

I don't see why you're going along with it.
You don't need her to go. MIL and H want her to go, but MIL doesn't want it enough to ensure the house is safe for dd, nor does your H.

I wouldn't be happy with my dd staying in a house with a dog with questionable behaviour or in a virtual strangers house.

I'd just refuse to allow her to go. Disagreements are better than unsafe situations.

Can you not read? The child will be in another house with the (non) dangerous dog.

Your daughter's safely is the top priority, don't let that dog anywhere near her. I wouldn't go anywhere near the dog myself, they can't be trusted ever.

I'd assume nobody else wants to take the dog in, and BIL doesn't want the dog in kennels when it isn't a necessity. That's fair enough.
You don't want DD there with the dog, also completely fair enough.

I highly doubt that MIL wants to leave her own home for a week, but she's willing to so she can facilitate still having that time with her grandaughter. I don't think I could be mad about that. Daughter shouldn't be forced to go if she isn't comfortable with it, but I wouldn't stop her myself.

Sadly most dog people always put their dog first above all else. They are so very selfish.

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙄🙄🙄

Yes a “dogs” house, not a child. Haha it’s madness.

No, what's ridiculous or entitled about the BIL who lives there not to want to move out of his home for a week to appease his batshit SIL?

Christ! You sound so passive. What would happen if you said no?

I don’t think you are being unreasonable but I wouldn’t send her again no matter how many arguments it causes. Let them come to you if they want to spend time with their grandchild.

Stand your ground OP. Your instincts are right and this has so many red flags. There have been horrific injuries and child fatalities from bull breeds. Being shipped off to another house where she doesn’t know people well is at best frightening and at worst a child protection issue if you don’t know who is there. If you can get your husband to draw the line with his family so you don’t take any flak for it.

Ridiculous and entitled behaviour from the dog owners you mean surely?

Ignore the gaslighting posts like this op. Your concerns are perfectly reasonable.

I’m usually against IL who are awful , but I think MIL is trying to do her best. I can imagine BIL being so difficult and refusing to move. It’s his dog and his home so I would imagine it being a massive inconvenience to him as well for a whole week.
Your MIL worked out a solution, seems like she tried hard to please everyone.

the only thing is if she needs something from her house, what will she do with DD? And can she be trusted not to pop over with dd to her house?

Since OP has no idea what breed it is and knew that "Staff" kicks off sympathetic responses but "Golden Retriever" wouldn't.

Since when has a staffy been a giant breed

Just say your daughters not going and take the consequences of them all falling out with you. Better making sure your daughter is safe & happy than a dog/grandparent. They are all walking over you & your letting it happen by being so nice but your only priority is your daughters safety and your not happy with the arrangements (neither would I be btw) so say no or the MIL can come stay at yours for a week & you & hibby have a nice break away. Don’t let them control you or your daughter she too precious for that

You're unreal.

you object to your daughter staying somewhere else you say she's having to move out she's not because she doesn't live there. She stays one week a year.

Yeah, you think the brother-in-law that does live there should move out for a week to enable your daughter to stay but the dog not be there

The dog jumped up at her once three years ago when it was likely a puppy, it hasn't eaten her for lunch on any of the lots of time you claim you spend there.

Ridiculous & entitled behaviour!!