Aibu for being unhappy my in-laws are putting a dog "first"

OP I think you’re getting lots of unnecessarily harsh comments on here, so just wanted to say that I totally get it. Your DD isn’t the class hamster that MIL gets to take home for a week! What if she gets homesick at this other relatives and you need to pick her up?

You are of course totally within your rights to cancel the trip - if you feel something in your gut, listen to it. A simple response like “thanks so much for trying to accommodate DD, but it seems like it’s going to be a bit tricky this year. DD is nervous about staying anywhere other than your home, and I’d hate for her to get homesick, so perhaps we leave it til next year?” As a sweetener, you could offer to host the week? (I know your DH won’t like that…)

Fwiw I would never allow my kids near a dog that behaves unpredictably, especially not if owned by a man-baby who can’t control it and is enabled by his family. It’s standard common sense x

The OP said it had acted aggressively towards her

@Bathingforest why bring ethnicity into this?
Would it be ok, if you were judged on your ethnicity!
No of course not.

I'd be wary of my child being around a staffy at all. Thick people love saying they're nanny dogs but they've killed quite a few people
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_dog_attacks_in_the_United_Kingdom

They never are dangerous until they rip someone’s throat out.

It doesn’t make any difference what people on here think. The OP has concerns about the dog and her child comes first, regardless of whether other people think her concerns are valid or not. Anyone who has children on here, defending a dog over the safety of a child should be ashamed of themselves in my opinion. I don’t understand why anyone would willingly put their children or grandchildren at risk just to appease a dog. A 7 year old is still a small child that can get easily hurt by a large untrained dog jumping at her, it’s doesn’t have to tear her face off to hurt her. Any parent with an ounce of common sense wouldn’t send their child into a situation where the risk of getting hurt is likely.

I think she's respected your wishes around about your DD not being in a house with a big dog. Maybe whoever had the dog before, doesn't want the dog in their house anymore, so a compromise has been made. The most important thing is that your DD gets to spend quality time with GM.

Western grandparents aren’t trustworthy,What sort of batshit comment is this .Maybe in your world but certainly not in mine.

I would explain that you don’t feel comfortable having the dog in the house when your daughter is there because it’s jumped up in the past and scratched her and she isn’t allowed to stay unless the dog is out of the house for the duration of the visit. You also don’t think it’s appropriate for her to stay with a relative she doesn’t know even though MIL is with her. It seems like whatever you do MIL and your husband are going to get pissed off so you may as well be honest and not risk your daughters safety.

I do agree with others that clearly your MIL enjoys spending time with her and is respectful of your wishes with the dog, as she has arranged to move out with your daughter so the dog isn’t around, but you are her mum. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, you just need to say. Who cares what anyone else thinks, your daughters safety comes first before adults hurt feeling.

In that case, don't send her away this year and tell your husband he will have to suck up the presence of his own child in the house.

What a generalisation. Rather horrible one at that.

It's not a staffy. OP was "quite clear" that she doesn't know what it is and has described a dog that isn't a staffy.

It's either a staffie or a large dog
It isn't both

OP was quite clear - its a staffy.

Why are you jumping to the conclusion this is a dangerous dog ? It’s a stuffy. It jumped up and scratched her - doesn’t mean it was meant, or that the dog is a threat.

I agree that it should ultimately be up to the child whether she goes. I know for a fact that my eldest DS would have point blank refused to stay in a strange house, even if his grandmother was there with him. And I would have respected his wishes. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all with OP’s MIL suggesting or implementing this arrangement.

Yes.
Fine, if that’s the case don’t send her, but that’s not what the OP has said and also has nothing to do with the dog, which was what her AIBU was about.

you need to say no, and stop this in its tracks

keep your daughter safe and happy

cant MIL come to you? or you stay local for a few days and do outings - then everyone is happy?

sounds like an XL bully OP, i would not want that within a mile of my kids

MIL may want your child for a week, there is no law saying that she gets her for a week.

Just say NO.

It's a very simple short word, two letters and a complete sentence. NO.

I don't see the issue. Mil is looking after dd just in a different location.

The OP isn’t asking for childcare, she has said numerous times she would prefer her daughter stayed at home.

It’s the father and grandmother who are demanding the daughter stay at Grandma’s for a week.

The child will NOT be staying in the house with the dog.
@Finteq has nailed it, which @miraxxx you are choosing to ignore.Follow the thread, instead of jumping to your own conclusions.

I’ve also asked this.
i think yabu. I think mil has done everything you have asked.
Why should she force bil out ( as that is what you’re asking by asking to remove the dog).
nothing you’ve said has shown an aggressive dog?
dog jumped up when it was young.
your mil found a solution so they could still spend the summer together but you’re still not happy, why?
Are you not happy about her going? If so then that’s ok, she’s your child, but it’s unfair to mil to put this on her.
(no, not dog bias i do not own dogs).

It’s where the dog lives, it makes no sense to move the dog out and into someone else’s house when your MIL is happy to just stay elsewhere with your daughter. Total over reaction from you OP.

Typos/autocorrect...
Summer not dinner
And it is a risk, not it's not a risk to take a foster dog with a six year old