Aibu for being unhappy my in-laws are putting a dog "first"

Yup

Why? If the child is a regular guest at her DGM's house, she would have her things there, a bedroom she is familiar with etc. She is only 7, these things are important. A dog is much easier to move for a week.

YANBU who is the other relative? Do you know them? Does DD? DH sounds like he doesn’t take dog attack risks very seriously. If the fog is dangerous I’d be worried for MIL to be honest

Much easier for your DD to go to the relative’s with your MIL than for the dog to go elsewhere. In this instance, I think you’re being unreasonable.

Who's looking after the dog if the MIL is also staying with the friend?! I'm so confused

OP I think you should edit your post to include that it's your MIL that is requesting your daughter to go stay with her as that changes things.

Look after your own child, your mil can do whatever she wants in her own house.

Obviously the BIL has made the MIL choose between his dog and her granddaughter. She’s got two people she loves pulling her in opposite directions, never mind that she might want to stay in her own home. She’s found a solution though. Is there anything wrong with this relative they’re staying with? Does DD mind? If not, let it go this year.

Is FIL going too? Will DD spend time with him too?

Fwiw I’d not let DH or BIL forget this. Either because she’s been bullied into it or some other reason, your MIL has chosen the dog over your DD. I wouldn’t allow a repeat of this. Doubt many relatives would want to host someone and their granddaughter for a week each year either.

Say no, she's not staying there for a week but mil is welcome to come over and spend time at your house? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yabu to allow a grown woman to dictate where your dd stays.
Mil had her dc.. Now it's your turn..

Loads of kneejerk reactions to the OP and deliberate misreading of what her issue is.

1. The In laws and husband demand the child to spend a week there
2. There is a large and possibly aggressive dog which OP feels is unsafe
3. Previous arrangements included the dog being housed elsewhere while child was visiting.
4. Arrangements have slightly altered this year and child and DGM are in a third location for a week. I think OP is allowed to feel aggrieved that her child is in a new location which she has to get used to.
5. This tactic seems designed to eventually force the child to stay in the In laws' house with the dog. Op's husband has expressed this wish already.
6. OP is wholly within her rights to not send her child anywhere and to protect her child from a dog whose temperament is iffy.
7. No one has sought to train either dog or child in their interactions with one another to allay OP's fears. They have downplayed the dog's behaviour.

Keep your daughter at home . I wouldnt send my child to a house with a dangerous dog .

https://www.gransnet.com/forums/ask_a_gran/1302777-MIL-asking-for-alone-time

‘the dynamic is different when the child knows the parent isn’t there’ - nails it

my own mum had a bit of a predisposition for feeling g like this when my older sisters kids were younger until one of them point blank refused to sleep over one night because she knew that in the morning, if she asked my sister to collect her at say 8am, my mum would be upset and say she thought they’d have a day out together before she went home. My mum has always preferred having the kids at her own house as she is more comfy there, than at their kids own houses, it’s very common

Maybe the child doesn’t want to stay with mad Auntie Tracey who she sees once in a blue moon. She’s allowed an opinion. Will there be adequate sleeping arrangements etc, will OP know who is in the house, where her child will be sleeping and bathing etc ?

you see all these threads on here where 15 year olds aren’t even allowed to the corner shop alone Yet OP is getting slated for not being comfortable her 7 year old little girl is going to be spending a week with a relative she doesn’t even know

It doesn't sound like an aggressive dog though - it just jumped up? And it lives there full time. I'm not sure your in less are prioritising a dog at all, they've done everything they can every year to accommodate your child.

I think this comes down to the fact you don't want her to go - if so, and given it's already caused an argument I'd just say she's not going and keep her home. MIL is quite welcome to come to you.

You don't want her to be in the house with the dog.
She won't be.
Grandmother wants to stay a week with the child.
She will be
What's the issue?

I love when people jump to ‘just pay for childcare then’ on threads like this , they obviously don’t understand families where children are expected to spend time, alone, with family, regularly. Many families want and expect this, the MIL has probably planned activities she wants to take the child to, etc, and no staying with the OP, her DH and the child wont be seen as a solution to this as the MIL will want the child on her turf and without parents ‘interfering’ as she might see it, to do things she wants to do with the child in a place she is comfortable not as a visitor

She doesn’t really want to send the child there, it’s in the thread.

The op doesn’t want the childcare. As she’s said.

i totally agree that your dd can’t be in the house with the dog and I wouldn’t be either. I’d tell my dh that the fact he thought it was fine made me seriously question his judgment, and if he ever thought he could just let her in with the dog your marriage would be over.
im less sure about the friends house thing. It’s not idea and a shame but if they spend quality time together there then does it matter? Concentrate on the issue that could kill or cause life altering issues for your dd - the dog, and that she not be with it. If your mil is sticking to that I’d let the friends house thing go.

The dog lives there, if you have a problem don't send your child there, it's quite simple.
I would never send my dogs somewhere else to give free childcare to a relative no matter who they were.

YABU the dog lives there full time and despite what you obviously think dogs are family members . The obvious solution is that your MIL comes to stay with you although your daughter staying with your MIL at another relatives sounds perfectly reasonable to me as well , assuming that the person they are staying with is not a danger to her .

Invite your MIL to stay at your home for a week? I think you’re over reacting, you’ve said you don’t want her there while the dog is so they’ve made alternate plans and your still not happy.