Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To resent new colleagues

35 replies

Perato · 08/08/2025 13:35

Work in an advertising agency type environment (some details changed to protect identity) in the sales division. We're a small team but on an agressive growth drive due to private equity.

Last year on return from mat leave I struggled to balance the role with motherhood, mental health wasn't great and felt bullied by manager and her boss for a while. My performance dipped a bit and It culminated in a very nasty ambush call by one of the directors basically threatening to sack me and mocking my sales abilities.

Fast forward a year and things have stabilised and I'm back on track with performance etc and we've recently hired two new senior managers to help drive even more sales and growth.

These hires were announced to much PR fanfare and billed across the company as much needed talent etc.

I've ended up training them a lot and picking up a lot of the Slack as they learn but both are struggling in their own ways and one in particular doesn't seem good enough and has made bad mistakes and doesnt seem to grasp the basics. We're now 3-4 months in and they still have to be hand held for almost everything and can't do certain things solo as 'not ready yet'. They're getting a very easy ride but I was nearly sacked for much less.

These are senior managers, on at least 10k more than me (baseline). I'm picking up the slack right left and centre but externally we've positioned them as incredibly capable/ senior/ strategic/ commercially astute etc.

I'm feeling so resentful and used. I've given official feedback but it's not my call on what happens to them. I've also applied for various jobs over past 6 months but market is dire so it's not an easy option.

Not sure what I'm looking for from this thread, maybe just validation that inbu and views from others who have been in this situation.

I felt so upset and broken last year but I clawed it back and have given effort etc, now seeing incompetent people announced and bigged up so much causes me so much anger.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Perato · 10/08/2025 18:44

ConsultMe · 10/08/2025 13:17

Sorry but I think this situation is your fault, cause you describe being subjected to nasty behaviour, being ambushed and mocked and told your performance was shit. Most people, would start looking for other jobs because it’s clear your management don’t rate you. Instead you chose to stay and are shocked that your management decided to bring in much-needed talent that get paid more than you yet you’re expected to get them up to speed. To me, the writing was on the wall that this would happen.

I did look for other jobs and have applied for plenty, not so easy in current market. I've since had good performance reviews and am doing well with KPIs etc

OP posts:
SumUp · 10/08/2025 14:01

They sound awful to work for. Private equity fucks up any company it touches for employees.

Brefugee · 10/08/2025 14:00

Perato · 08/08/2025 16:50

Agree. I can't say too much as I'll just look bitter

is there a training plan? so by x month they must be able to do a, b and c, then by y month they can also do d, e and f? if not you (company) need to look into establishing such a plan asap.

If your own role is being impacted in terms of targets/KPIs you need to speak to your boss. Why do you have to train them? is there an incentive for you to do so? etc etc. Join a union.

RentalWoesNotFun · 10/08/2025 13:56

I think you now go to your manager as part of your next monthly chat or wgatever and say youve been happy to help the new people into their roles and feel that youve taught them everything you can in the past four months or whatever so from now on youd like to suggest that it’s more appropriate that they go to her when they need to ask questions so she can see how well they are progressing and ensure appropriate training is given in the areas she feels they need it as their probationary meeting will be coming up in a couple of months. Give her a list of what you’ve taught them. Ensuring you cover all the areas they make mistakes in without saying they are making mistakes eg “filing returns in the XYZ file” when you know they’ve been filing them in the ABC file and have been correcting them.

Unfortunately you do not appear to be highly rated by this company so I think any shortfalls will be blamed on your bad training. Keep looking fur a new job.

I’ve been in the same position. Not good enough for the promotion so they held me back, but am now elsewhere and two promotions up so clearly it was their misjudgement of my abilities not me being incapable or I’d never be two grades higher and ready to progress again according to my senior manager. Wish the first lot could have seen that in me but no. Sometimes they just don’t and never will.

popdepop · 10/08/2025 13:24

27pilates · 10/08/2025 13:12

@popdepop has your problem person been told to train you up though? Doubt it.

Edited

I would have expected a handover as she stepped up until I got the role. She has questioned me and is certainly testing boundaries. Her lack of integrity and deliberately trying to sabotage is exactly the reason I think she didn't get the role. It's not just myself, she holds resentment towards other managers who are new too. Only I have to manage her. I can't do right for doing wrong.
With OP on this thread, she has had a difficult time, yet is now projecting onto new management. Much better to focus that energy into something positive and if you're not happy, no-one is chaining you to a job

ConsultMe · 10/08/2025 13:17

Sorry but I think this situation is your fault, cause you describe being subjected to nasty behaviour, being ambushed and mocked and told your performance was shit. Most people, would start looking for other jobs because it’s clear your management don’t rate you. Instead you chose to stay and are shocked that your management decided to bring in much-needed talent that get paid more than you yet you’re expected to get them up to speed. To me, the writing was on the wall that this would happen.

27pilates · 10/08/2025 13:12

@popdepop has your problem person been told to train you up though? Doubt it.

Tollington · 10/08/2025 12:14

My company often take the easy option, when somebody leaves they put somebody already there in a lower job in to that roll

They have recently done this with two guys who are now both managers. I regularly have to email them to tell them that something which is part of their job hasn’t been done which in turn is stoping me from doing my job

I do two things now to highlight how incompetent they are. I either copy the director in to my email or, when we have our weekly meeting these things that they haven’t done get picked up by the director

I’m fed up of reminding them when they are on twice my salary. I shouldn’t have to be chasing a manager. We had our weekly review on Thursday and something that they were meant to have done a week ago was noticed and they were made to look like idiots. I’m done with bailing them out. They can learn the hard way

TorturedParentsDepartment · 10/08/2025 12:06

crowsfeet57 · 08/08/2025 14:41

IME they could be completely useless and senior management won't admit they've made a mistake. They'll just blame you and say you are looking for problems.

This is the situation I'm in at the moment OP - someone appointed above me (I'm NHS so bandings are very clear) and she's... fucking incompetent, bone idle and a bloody danger to patient safety - but management keep doing the head pats and saying that she's fine.

I end up having to step in to cover the holes and support her - and I'm trying desperately not to (unless patient safety's at stake) because it's a) above my pay grade and b) management really need to understand the consequences of their shitty recruitment choice - but if you're a helpful sort who wants things to succeed - it's a hellish situation to be in.

AuntyDepressant · 10/08/2025 11:42

Perato · 08/08/2025 19:09

I'm happy to train them up to an extent but some of the mistakes have been poor attention to detail or just not understanding the basics.

One of them doesn't have any experience of the sector we work, the other didn't work in advertising before so not got a background in what we actually sell. Those are quite big gaps

Then you need to let them fail. Stop picking up the slack. Let senior management see their weakness.

topcat2014 · 10/08/2025 11:36

I got the sack from a job I actually loved earlier this year. I am working again, below my skill level. Pleasant office and nice colleagues. I feel wholly different about work now. couldn't give a shit really

Whilst you don't realise, this will be affecting your health. My blood pressure is in the green every day now, and it probably wasn't for the last 20 years.

Good luck whatever you decide.

popdepop · 10/08/2025 11:31

Perato · 08/08/2025 13:35

Work in an advertising agency type environment (some details changed to protect identity) in the sales division. We're a small team but on an agressive growth drive due to private equity.

Last year on return from mat leave I struggled to balance the role with motherhood, mental health wasn't great and felt bullied by manager and her boss for a while. My performance dipped a bit and It culminated in a very nasty ambush call by one of the directors basically threatening to sack me and mocking my sales abilities.

Fast forward a year and things have stabilised and I'm back on track with performance etc and we've recently hired two new senior managers to help drive even more sales and growth.

These hires were announced to much PR fanfare and billed across the company as much needed talent etc.

I've ended up training them a lot and picking up a lot of the Slack as they learn but both are struggling in their own ways and one in particular doesn't seem good enough and has made bad mistakes and doesnt seem to grasp the basics. We're now 3-4 months in and they still have to be hand held for almost everything and can't do certain things solo as 'not ready yet'. They're getting a very easy ride but I was nearly sacked for much less.

These are senior managers, on at least 10k more than me (baseline). I'm picking up the slack right left and centre but externally we've positioned them as incredibly capable/ senior/ strategic/ commercially astute etc.

I'm feeling so resentful and used. I've given official feedback but it's not my call on what happens to them. I've also applied for various jobs over past 6 months but market is dire so it's not an easy option.

Not sure what I'm looking for from this thread, maybe just validation that inbu and views from others who have been in this situation.

I felt so upset and broken last year but I clawed it back and have given effort etc, now seeing incompetent people announced and bigged up so much causes me so much anger.

Yes you are being unreasonable. As someone who has stepped into a more senior role I feel bullied in particular by one lady who also went for my role but didn't get it. She clearly is resentful and I feel deliberately trying to sabotage. Give the new starts a chance, its only been a few months in a new role. There is a reason those who are resentful didn't get the role

27pilates · 10/08/2025 11:01

Have you got any A/L coming up? Maybe when you’re off for a fortnight, this will become the higher boss’s problem and it will come to a head.🤞

27pilates · 10/08/2025 11:00

Also look at ‘quiet quitting’ while you’re job hunting.

Lafufufu · 08/08/2025 19:15

Firstly.fair play for making a comeback... many wouldn't.

I'd step back and let them find their feet or fail.
When big boss wants you to pick up the slack get it email and reply "happy to correct Xs work it will be with you by Y"

In annual review make it clear 3 months out ypu are looking for parity vs them if they want you to stay

Perato · 08/08/2025 19:09

I'm happy to train them up to an extent but some of the mistakes have been poor attention to detail or just not understanding the basics.

One of them doesn't have any experience of the sector we work, the other didn't work in advertising before so not got a background in what we actually sell. Those are quite big gaps

OP posts:
CoffeeCantata · 08/08/2025 18:09

Sympathy, OP, but not much advice- pps have made some useful suggestions.

i was 3 times in the situation where I was thrown in at the deep end in new jobs, but when other people started they were given long and detailed inductions, partly by me. They would say they weren’t quite ready to fly solo yet…and were treated very kindly. I felt really resentful - I wouldn’t have got away with that.

PuppyMonkey · 08/08/2025 17:04

Are you keeping an email record of all the times the big boss asks you to correct their mistakes? If it’s just the boss cornering you and telling you to redo stuff in person, send a quick email confirming everything in writing so you have a record that way. I’d cc the crap bods in those emails too.Grin

Perato · 08/08/2025 16:50

crowsfeet57 · 08/08/2025 14:41

IME they could be completely useless and senior management won't admit they've made a mistake. They'll just blame you and say you are looking for problems.

Agree. I can't say too much as I'll just look bitter

OP posts:
Tablesandchairs23 · 08/08/2025 16:08

Is it in your job description to train new starters.

Skybluepinky · 08/08/2025 15:14

It depends what’s in your contract, if it includes training others you won’t be able to stop that, but are your bosses aware of the standard of their work?

Mumof2wifeof1crazytimes · 08/08/2025 15:01

Perato · 08/08/2025 14:04

I've done this a bit. Their work is then not very good so I have to correct it as my boss wants it done quickly so we still meet targets etc

Why aren’t they sending their work direct to the boss if they are more senior than you? Can’t you tell the boss you are no longer checking their work so they can assess them their selves?

27pilates · 08/08/2025 14:54

Just do your own job and let these 2 new members of staff get on with it. Let your manager pick up the slack.
Carry on looking for a new post elsewhere. Good luck OP

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 14:47

I think you need to step back.
How long were you in the job before the maternity leave?

It sounds like you were bullied and abused by them, and continue to be so.

Look up pregnancy and screwed.
Call ACAS.
I think you need to think carefully about what you want.

They are using you. You need to push back.
Get advice.
Put everything you have gone through down on paper and get advice.

crowsfeet57 · 08/08/2025 14:41

IME they could be completely useless and senior management won't admit they've made a mistake. They'll just blame you and say you are looking for problems.