Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband not helping

31 replies

Aalice · 08/08/2025 03:23

My sister has purchased a new house which needed a complete renovation. She received some astronomical quotes for her kitchen, which was the most pressing aspect, so I asked my husband to help. He managed to convince a joiner we knew to do the work but pointed out he had other jobs so wouldnt be able to dedicate himself to just my sister's kitchen. He was also much cheaper as my husband has been along time client of his. The kitchen is finished but it's taken 6-7 weeks rather than the original 2-3 weeks.

The rest of the house still needs to be refurbished however he is now refusing to help because my sister became rather vocal about how long the kitchen took to complete.

My husband had his builder provide a very reasonable quote but the builder is no longer willig to carry out the work for the agreed price.

Becase the renovations are relatively small the usual builders aren't interested and hiring separate tradesmen is going to be too expensive.

I have repeatedly asked him to help but it's escalated into shouting from his side.

OP posts:
InWalksBarberalla · 08/08/2025 03:57

Was there an agreement in place that he would help with the renovations - and that's why she purchased the house? On the face of it you and your sister sound very unreasonable.

CountAdhemar · 08/08/2025 03:55

You and your sister are being unreasonable

PeloMom · 08/08/2025 03:43

Your husband helped. Your sister is unreasonable. She also budgeted poorly buying a house that needs so much work with no money to do the actual work.

Eenameenadeeka · 08/08/2025 03:30

Sounds like she's being ungrateful for his help, if she wants it done cheaper than it actually costs (who wants to work for less??) and in the same time. If he's spending time and using his connections to help her and she is complaining about it, it makes sense that he doesn't want to help anymore.

Purpleturtle45 · 08/08/2025 03:27

He has helped (even though it was a lot to ask) and your sister complained instead of being grateful he stepped in. He is reasonable to stop helping after that treatment.

araiwa · 08/08/2025 03:26

He did help and your sister was ungrateful and fucked it up

I'd be telling to sort it out herself too

Swipe left for the next trending thread