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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you can’t take a man with painted nails seriously?

321 replies

ThisSunnyBiscuit · 07/08/2025 21:27

I know people say “it’s just nail polish” but I can’t help feeling like a man with painted nails instantly loses credibility. Whether it’s in a corporate setting or just in everyday life, it gives off a certain vibe that makes it hard to take him seriously.

It’s not about being closed-minded, it’s just that some things don’t translate well across genders. Am I being unreasonable or do others feel the same?

OP posts:
Mustbethat · 09/08/2025 10:46

Jan168 · 09/08/2025 08:49

I just wonder why men would want to wear nail varnish, it seems like an enormous faff to me - mind you I wonder more why women would want huge nails that must make doing anything impossible.

I don't like men who are appearance obsessed, if it's a bit of badly applied black nail varnish that's one thing. If they're having a full manicure then it's a no from me. It's less about 'not taking them seriously' though and more just not finding it attractive. It's just a very superficial thing so it wouldn't bother me if we were just working together.

Enormous faff for women as well? Or just men?

personally I think a lot of what is seen as normal “self care”, or “grooming”, “polishing” for women is an enormous faff.

Make up
hair cuts and colours
nails- fingers and toes
waxing/shaving/hair removal
eyebrows
lashes
botox/fillers

an enormous time and cost investment.

and funnily enough a woman turning up at work with no make up, unmanicured nails and hairy legs would be judged as much as man turning up in make up and nail varnish.

BourgeoisBabe · 09/08/2025 10:35

VegQueen · 07/08/2025 21:51

Men should be able to paint their nails, or wear makeup tbh. Why not? You don’t have to find it attractive, but why does it make them less credible? Because it’s typically something women do and women are less credible? Or you think men should always be masculine? Do you also believe the reverse (women should always be feminine)?

This exactly. Let people express themselves how they want.

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 09/08/2025 10:17

I also like eyeliner on a man too. Billie Jo Armstrong style
Helllll yeah ♥️♥️
Although my mind's thinking Hook from Once Upon A Time as well as Billy Jo Armstrong

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 09/08/2025 10:13

ThisSunnyBiscuit · 07/08/2025 21:27

I know people say “it’s just nail polish” but I can’t help feeling like a man with painted nails instantly loses credibility. Whether it’s in a corporate setting or just in everyday life, it gives off a certain vibe that makes it hard to take him seriously.

It’s not about being closed-minded, it’s just that some things don’t translate well across genders. Am I being unreasonable or do others feel the same?

YABU.
I think it kind of looks cool, and good on them for wearing it if they like it.
Definitely not out of the ordinary in my eyes!

Pericombobulations · 09/08/2025 09:57

Inchworms · 08/08/2025 23:31

You’d be very surprised where goths end up. We’re secretly everywhere. We always know eachother obviously. There’s a nod

Show quote history

Indeed. My mate who not only managed a goth club, ran and djed the goth night, is now a head of his dept teacher. I would suspect he even teaches some of the kids of people on here! Grin

Inchworms · 09/08/2025 09:51

FindingMeno · 09/08/2025 07:37

Hmmm. Interesting question that has got me thinking.
I guess that it pisses me off that we've had lifetimes of being judged by men on how we should be, with men holding the power balance.
Perhaps I feel like men are becoming more challenged by women and they need to settle down a bit and give us room to breathe.
Very hard to articulate how I feel.
Almost like it's a childish tit for tat, maybe. Maybe that's too strong...

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I do understand this feeling. Like, our bullshit is bullshit, hair and skin and nails and frocks, but it’s OUR bullshit and men coming in and just doing it it feels disrespectful to the horrifying cage that hair and skin and nails and frocks is. You can’t DABBLE in this shit mateys, these are all the symbols of our oppression!

On the other hand, while feeling possessive of our victimhood is I reckon totally understandable, it’s also I reckon quite mad, and I try to catch myself when I feel it creeping in.

Or that’s what I think about it anyway.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/08/2025 09:49

Whitehorses67 · 07/08/2025 21:45

Personally I would not find this attractive behaviour in a man. I like men to be clean and tidy but any more interest in their looks puts me off.
I would find nail varnish very juvenile.

Same. It would turn me off. But depending on the polish, I might assume that he’s got a little dd who had a set of children’s nail polishes for her birthday and wanted to do everybody’s nails. That’s the only reason I’ve ever seen nail polish on SiL or DH, anyway!

Emonade · 09/08/2025 09:33

The daily mail readers out in force again

JustFeedMeCake · 09/08/2025 09:21

Agreed. It looks ridiculous at any age.

Jc2001 · 09/08/2025 09:12

PlutoCat · 07/08/2025 21:50

When I were a young lass in the 80s men wore make up and nail varnish. I liked it and is a shame there is more gender conformity now.

I don't think it's gender conformity. Most men just aren't interested. It's not because they feel they can't..

Jan168 · 09/08/2025 08:49

I just wonder why men would want to wear nail varnish, it seems like an enormous faff to me - mind you I wonder more why women would want huge nails that must make doing anything impossible.

I don't like men who are appearance obsessed, if it's a bit of badly applied black nail varnish that's one thing. If they're having a full manicure then it's a no from me. It's less about 'not taking them seriously' though and more just not finding it attractive. It's just a very superficial thing so it wouldn't bother me if we were just working together.

helpfulperson · 09/08/2025 08:20

AliceMaforethought · 08/08/2025 23:37

I voted YABU. Policing what the genders can wear is what got us into this whole mess with trans rights vs women's rights.

Yup, this is so true.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 09/08/2025 07:54

God, half of these responses are so depressing.

Nothing wrong with a man in nail polish, though I do get a bit envious if they can do it better than me 🤣

FindingMeno · 09/08/2025 07:37

Mustbethat · 08/08/2025 15:12

Why though?

why do you take women in nail polish seriously but not men?

Show quote history

Hmmm. Interesting question that has got me thinking.
I guess that it pisses me off that we've had lifetimes of being judged by men on how we should be, with men holding the power balance.
Perhaps I feel like men are becoming more challenged by women and they need to settle down a bit and give us room to breathe.
Very hard to articulate how I feel.
Almost like it's a childish tit for tat, maybe. Maybe that's too strong...

Rayqueen · 09/08/2025 06:06

I hate it and see it more and more on tv

sadmillenial · 09/08/2025 02:43

what a sad state of affairs, to judge other people's joyful expression!

its fucking nail polish, get over it

deary me....

NewbieYou · 08/08/2025 23:43

Why does heterosexual masculinity mean credibility to you OP? Why do you idealise the straight male mind and assume it’s the correct and proper way to be?

Maybe think about that.

AliceMaforethought · 08/08/2025 23:37

I voted YABU. Policing what the genders can wear is what got us into this whole mess with trans rights vs women's rights.

Grammarnut · 08/08/2025 23:36

My late DH used to paint his nails occasionally, usually midnight blue. It looked fine. Essentially it depends why someone has done this - if it's part of pretending to be a woman they can go do one. I have no patience with gender woo.

Emonade · 08/08/2025 23:36

Whitehorses67 · 07/08/2025 21:45

Personally I would not find this attractive behaviour in a man. I like men to be clean and tidy but any more interest in their looks puts me off.
I would find nail varnish very juvenile.

i am sure the men doing so are doing it so you find them attractive

spoonbillstretford · 08/08/2025 23:34

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 08/08/2025 21:02

Seems plenty of women here judging....

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Some of them are probably men.

Inchworms · 08/08/2025 23:31

Marybagg · 08/08/2025 22:45

Nice bunch. Presumably accountants or solicitors now?

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You’d be very surprised where goths end up. We’re secretly everywhere. We always know eachother obviously. There’s a nod

TheOriginalEmu · 08/08/2025 23:06

Marybagg · 08/08/2025 22:45

Nice bunch. Presumably accountants or solicitors now?

Show quote history

Is being a goth not compatible with being a solicitor for some reason?

Marybagg · 08/08/2025 22:45

idrinkandiknowthings · 08/08/2025 13:25

I love a guy with painted nails. Even chipped polish. When I was a goth we all used to share make up in the loos at clubs.

Nice bunch. Presumably accountants or solicitors now?

fthisfthatfeverything · 08/08/2025 21:18

Is the chipped half on half wearing off that turns me. It’s lazy looking, dirty scruffy look.