Fall out with partner over my disrespect.

What's stopping you from leaving?

So you're over there providing free childcare?

But from what you say, this is a long-lived pattern, in a relationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, and in which the communication and conflict resolution is poor. You can’t change anyone else’s behaviour, only your own. Why not change the pattern? You’d already apologised. Just go home and don’t contact him. Give it some space.

So why did you contact him and go over? Why are you so anxious to stay in a relationship that doesn’t seem particularly happy, where the communication is poor? Just go home and get on with your life.

He's an ex for that very reason.

Comment aside, it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship anyway, so best for both of you to move on and find people you'll respect/be respected by.

I've had a boyfriend like you OP,

No harm meant,
Didn't mean it,
Came out the wrong way,
I'm not like that etc etc.

You buried your comment in the post and asked about the relationship being toxic, it took being called out to focus on your mean comment.

Guessing he goes to the pub without you sometimes but you wouldn't be with these men without him?

We're you feeling left out and wanted to out him in his place?

Never an excuse to be rude, and such comments don't come from nowhere.

You're either that sort of person or you're not.

No, I meant it is a bad example because posters are picking up on your comment rather that what you are asking about which is his response when you argue. Your question was not whether the argument was justified, it was about the pattern of his behaviour following the argument. And you are saying it is a pattern which is what makes it problematic.

I am agreeing with the posters who are saying the silent treatment is not fair on you. He could easily say that he needs space and he will be in touch, and in a healthy relationship, you would both just take a day or two and then clear the air in a chat.

He’s got enough money to drink, clearly. Walks, a coffee, going to a museum or exhibition don’t cost much. He could make more effort here, rather than expecting you to sit in a pub with him and his friends.

I am glad you have plans with friends, focus on them and don’t beat yourself up about this comment.

So, lots of arguments, his preferred method of resolving them is the silent treatment, and he is a habitual drinker?

Can you explain - not on MN necessarily but to yourself - why you have chosen this man to be your ….. what exactly? What is the point of him, what does he add to your life, and where do you see this relationship heading?

So, lots of arguments, his preferred method of resolving them is the silent treatment, and he is a habitual drinker?

Can you explain - not on MN necessarily but to yourself - why you have chosen this man to be your ….. what exactly? What is the point of him, what does he add to your life, and where do you see this relationship heading?

So, lots of arguments, his preferred method of resolving them is the silent treatment, and he is a habitual drinker?

Can you explain - not on MN necessarily but to yourself - why you have chosen this man to be your ….. what exactly? What is the point of him, what does he add to your life, and where do you see this relationship heading?

I couldn't be with a sulking partner again.
I understand that is their way of dealing with things.
If you want to stay with him, ignore this sulking, don't contact him after a row, let him stew until he is ready to talk.

What you said was really, really horrible and I think unless you have been in a situation where you have felt pressure to fit in despite not really fitting in you can't even begin to imagine how nasty your comment was. It actually sounds racist.

Having said that his reaction to disagreements in general doesn't sound great. Actually it sounds toxic.

And you sound just not very nice. Neither of you sound mature, kind or considerate enough to be in a relationship.

@Ilovelifeverymuch Well we can't ask him why he's a sulking dick can we because he's not here ?
There's already conflict here, they are just 2 different ways of dealing with it. One is silent treatment, (acting in) the other is humiliating him (acting out)

my heart would drop if someone did that to me

I found that when you point your finger at someone, there’s always three pointing back at you. I learned that I could never change anyone else, only myself and my reactions. Things got a lot easier after that.

So what are all the other arguments about?

Sulking is a method of controlling you so that you won't provoke that reaction again. Next time you'll think twice. This isn't good.

Yes, you misjudged a comment which you've apologised for. You're anxious anticipating his reaction, and that's very telling.

So, he doesn't drive, doesn't have any money, spends all his days drinking, treats you like shit, threatens to leave you anytime you have a minor disagreement, and will never make the first move to fix things.

He sounds horrible OP. Why are you wasting your time with him? Just let him go. I guarantee you that if you were to dump him now he would try to get you back. But why would you want him? Seriously, what do you like about him?