Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that FWB should...

59 replies

Larose123 · 07/08/2025 16:42

AIBU to think that FWB should not be exclusive? If you are exclusive with someone, thats called a relationship!

Hit me with your opinions, thanks!

(Only interested because I'm considering doing FWB again at age 50)

OP posts:
newhousenewhouse · 07/08/2025 18:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

gamerchick · 07/08/2025 18:21

It's a personal thing with the person you're hooking up with OP.

Anchorage56 · 07/08/2025 18:19

ARichtGoodDram · 07/08/2025 18:08

Yeah I think it depends on how much of a friend they are to begin with. If you meet someone, get along and end up meeting up occasionally then its FWB/FB, a longer standing friendship yes its FWB.

For me I think its about the relationship with them while you're having sex with them

If you go for drinks, or meals, or whatever and have sex without it being a committed relationship then it's FWB. If it's just sex then it's FB. Doesn't matter if you've known them 5 weeks or 5 years for me.

Everyone looks at it differently. If a guy suggested FWB as what he was looking for my mind would go to- he wants sex without any commitment. Fuck buddies, fuck friends if you like. It doesnt have to be just sex of course but ultimately sex without any commitment. I've had casual guys in the past and it wasnt literally just sex, we did do other things but I wasnt under any illusion as to what it meant. Casual is the word I tend to use.

ARichtGoodDram · 07/08/2025 18:08

Yeah I think it depends on how much of a friend they are to begin with. If you meet someone, get along and end up meeting up occasionally then its FWB/FB, a longer standing friendship yes its FWB.

For me I think its about the relationship with them while you're having sex with them

If you go for drinks, or meals, or whatever and have sex without it being a committed relationship then it's FWB. If it's just sex then it's FB. Doesn't matter if you've known them 5 weeks or 5 years for me.

EBearhug · 07/08/2025 17:53

ARichtGoodDram · 07/08/2025 17:36

FWB is just the polite way of saying fuck buddy. Its casual it's not a relationship.

For me FWB and FB are very different things

Friends with benefits is more than sex, but not a committed relationship. Each varies in closeness, regularity and the likes depending on what suits them.

Fuck buddy is just sex, nothing beyond that.

Same for me. I've had men I met only for sex. I've had/have male friends I meet for various things, which sometimes includes sex, but might also be a meal out/chat/gallery visit/etc with or without sex. (If there is sex, it is separate to the rest of the meeting, and I've never yet been thrown out of an art gallery...) And I also have male friends where there will never be any benefits.

Anchorage56 · 07/08/2025 17:46

ARichtGoodDram · 07/08/2025 17:36

FWB is just the polite way of saying fuck buddy. Its casual it's not a relationship.

For me FWB and FB are very different things

Friends with benefits is more than sex, but not a committed relationship. Each varies in closeness, regularity and the likes depending on what suits them.

Fuck buddy is just sex, nothing beyond that.

Yeah I think it depends on how much of a friend they are to begin with. If you meet someone, get along and end up meeting up occasionally then its FWB/FB, a longer standing friendship yes its FWB.

SameOldMe · 07/08/2025 17:42

Interesting had this was an issue for me last year - met a lovely man on dating site and he told me he wasn't interested in a relationship but was happy to have some fun.
i agreed as it suited me and after some time he complained I was still on the site.
in my opinion if have an exclusivity chat then it's a relationship.
He only wanted fun so then i thought i was free to see other people !
in any case communication is key here .

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 07/08/2025 17:37

Nevertrustacop · 07/08/2025 17:36

What's the difference between a fwb and an affair?

In an affair, one or both parties are in relationships with other people.

ARichtGoodDram · 07/08/2025 17:36

FWB is just the polite way of saying fuck buddy. Its casual it's not a relationship.

For me FWB and FB are very different things

Friends with benefits is more than sex, but not a committed relationship. Each varies in closeness, regularity and the likes depending on what suits them.

Fuck buddy is just sex, nothing beyond that.

Nevertrustacop · 07/08/2025 17:36

What's the difference between a fwb and an affair?

Tink3rbell30 · 07/08/2025 17:35

Yes because of STI's.

VioletandDill · 07/08/2025 17:35

I agree. FWB should be fun and casual. I've had two successful ones in the past - both successes came from the full agreement that we were not in a relationship, and the willingness to pause/stop if either of us got in a relationship, or if it got in the way of our friendship.

whitewineandsun · 07/08/2025 17:32

ginasevern · 07/08/2025 17:28

No, I wouldn't automatically think of it as exclusive territory. It's just a friend that you also happen to shag. That's why it's called "friends with benefits". You wouldn't usually confine yourself to just one friend. Going exclusive means you've moved onto another level emotionally.

Agree with this.

Anchorage56 · 07/08/2025 17:29

Summerhillsquare · 07/08/2025 17:21

They're all relationships fgs. You're just defining one of the characteristics as promiscuity.

FWB is just the polite way of saying fuck buddy. Its casual it's not a relationship. Unless it's a long standing friend where you suddenly decide to start having sex with each other in which case they are still your friend.

Original poster
Larose123 · 07/08/2025 17:29

@ginasevern exactly my thinking too

OP posts:
Original poster
Larose123 · 07/08/2025 17:28

The difference between FWB and casual sex is presumably the friendship side of things and the stability of the friendship. Its different to meeting someone on a night out or on tinder, having casual sex and then never seing them again? To me that is casual sex, not shagging someone every week/two weeks

OP posts:
Notmyreality · 07/08/2025 17:28

Agreed

ginasevern · 07/08/2025 17:28

No, I wouldn't automatically think of it as exclusive territory. It's just a friend that you also happen to shag. That's why it's called "friends with benefits". You wouldn't usually confine yourself to just one friend. Going exclusive means you've moved onto another level emotionally.

Waterbortle · 07/08/2025 17:26

What's the difference between a non exclusive FWB and other casual sex? And if it's just casual sex, why would you pick a friend to have it with?

Or in this context does "friend" just mean someone you meet for sex?

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 07/08/2025 17:25

I think it should be whatever the two agree.
In my youth what you describe wasn't called fwb, it was called casual. You werent screwing other people but you weren't planning on being a couple either.

Original poster
Larose123 · 07/08/2025 17:25

@Summerhillsquare sorry but I didnt understand your comment. They are all relationships? What am I defining as promiscuous?

OP posts:
Original poster
Larose123 · 07/08/2025 17:23

@VintageMarket hahaha oh dear, let me rephrase that!! I mean talking to other people on dating apps and more in a flirtatious way lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Larose123 · 07/08/2025 17:22

@heroinechic also a good point there

OP posts:
Summerhillsquare · 07/08/2025 17:21

They're all relationships fgs. You're just defining one of the characteristics as promiscuity.

Anchorage56 · 07/08/2025 17:20

Larose123 · 07/08/2025 17:17

@Anchorage56 exactly!

If I was having sex with someone and wanted us to be exclusive I'd call that a relationship. The friends part of FWB is the casual vibe.