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AIBU?

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On holiday and I don’t know if I’m unreasonable!

642 replies

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 15:01

I’m really hoping for some perspective here. We are currently in Spain with my friends for a holiday. It’s us ( myself, DH and DC 14,16 ) and my friends ( Kate, Neil, DC 14,17) obviously names are changed. Kate was my friend for a few years through the activities. They invited us for a holiday with them. We booked two different villas about 5min walk from each other and right on the beach. Since we got here, Kate and my DH are spending more and more time together. This is our full third day here, and so far today, they met running at 7am and booked a spontaneous paddle boarding for themselves at 10am. We were all on the beach later and went for a lunch. I went back to the villa to get some plasters and they both turned up. My DH said he is changing his top as he and Kate will walk to the town to get a few bits. All of the DC are spending their time on the beach learning windsurfing with the local club so I don’t need DH to help with childcare. Kate’s husband Neil has a work project to do so he spends about 5 hours a day working in their villa. I’m starting to feel like a 3rd wheel to my friend and my DH. I’m getting grumpy when I’m around them and I don’t want to push him away but I don’t know how to get out of this mood. And another thing which got me thinking is at the dinner, Kate asked for a sparkling water and my DH said he wants some too. He never drank fucking sparkling water but when I pulled him on it, he said it’s because I only drink a still water so he did too. So for years you were drinking still water because of me? Have a sparkling water if you want! Something is feeling odd and I can’t put my finger on it

OP posts:
MeTooOverHere · 08/08/2025 01:03

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 08/08/2025 00:35

I've always said, the best way to win your husband back when he's had his head turned by a sun-kissed, bikini-clad MILF hottie, is to take a massive shit in your bed and let him clean it up. He'll be absolutely frothing with desire for you, probably desperate to take you there and then, the shit covered sheets adding only more fuel to the frenzy of passion. Planning your flight home and a divorce? Just take a mega-shite and your marriage is saved - Hurrah! Hot MILF will be a mere memory.

Edited

WTF have I missed?

SmartDog · 08/08/2025 00:59

Plantaineater · 07/08/2025 22:58

I'm only here for the next episode in this gripping story...the boat trip

Maybe OP will try water skiing on the boat trip and literally jump the shark, instead of just doing it figuratively like so many posters do in these unbelievable stories.

BrokenWingsCantFly · 08/08/2025 00:57

He didn't tell you about the boat trip as it was likely they were going alone straight from their morning run. She got scared she wouldn't get the chance to slip off with him after your message so made out like you was invited all along.

Time to get firm. He shouldn't be making plans and solo memories with her. Tell him straight he is taking the piss and the kids are picking up on it. It's embarrassing at the very least for them to be behaving like love struck, desperate teenagers

Crazyworldmum · 08/08/2025 00:45

Personally I would book 1 or 2 days of activities with just your husband . If he gets annoyed he is leaving Kate behind then you are in trouble

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 08/08/2025 00:35

I've always said, the best way to win your husband back when he's had his head turned by a sun-kissed, bikini-clad MILF hottie, is to take a massive shit in your bed and let him clean it up. He'll be absolutely frothing with desire for you, probably desperate to take you there and then, the shit covered sheets adding only more fuel to the frenzy of passion. Planning your flight home and a divorce? Just take a mega-shite and your marriage is saved - Hurrah! Hot MILF will be a mere memory.

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 00:19

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 00:16

Because the OP mentioned a 3 day connection in her post at 22.10.......keep up😁.

He's some twat and posters are correct she's probably playing with OP's husband as her marriage isn't great.

She is certainly not any friend to OP.
Her name would be shit when I would get home.

Ops husband is a creepy sleaze sniffing around her, particularly in front of his children.

Yes but, the OP has been completely bamboozled hasn’t she, thinking she’s got it all worked out.

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 00:16

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 00:08

Why is everyone assuming it’s true that they only met 3 days ago?

Because the OP mentioned a 3 day connection in her post at 22.10.......keep up😁.

He's some twat and posters are correct she's probably playing with OP's husband as her marriage isn't great.

She is certainly not any friend to OP.
Her name would be shit when I would get home.

Ops husband is a creepy sleaze sniffing around her, particularly in front of his children.

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

So cynical. That was the most romantic bit. ❤️

BunnyVV · 08/08/2025 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

3petitpois · 08/08/2025 00:09

No way would I stand for this….you are being far too polite OP. Tell Kate to back off and if she wants to go on that boat trip tell HER HUSBAND to go with her!

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 08/08/2025 00:08

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 00:04

I think she is some CF telling you what will be happening tomorrow.
I honestly cannot fathom all this making of arrangements and you not being consulted in any way.
Most unusual in a marriage, with a supposed stranger he met 3 days ago.

I think I would be putting a very PA message in the group that includes her husband.

As for your husband, huge ICK.

Edited

Why is everyone assuming it’s true that they only met 3 days ago?

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 00:06

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 08/08/2025 00:04

This. With Bells on.

In the WhatsApp that includes her husband.

Radiatorsa · 08/08/2025 00:04

I think she is some CF telling you what will be happening tomorrow.
I honestly cannot fathom all this making of arrangements and you not being consulted in any way.
Most unusual in a marriage, with a supposed stranger he met 3 days ago.

I think I would be putting a very PA message in the group that includes her husband.

As for your husband, huge ICK.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 08/08/2025 00:04

Mumofnarnia · 07/08/2025 22:50

I would tell Kate that your DH won’t be coming as you’ve already told her that you’d like to spend time with your DH and dc as a family and that her and your DH have had ample time together and you are not having your whole holiday being taken over by plans that were made without consulting you first.

This. With Bells on.

sheknowsitstoolate · 08/08/2025 00:02

Text back and tell Kate she’s doing the boat trip on her own.

tipsyraven · 08/08/2025 00:01

Tell your DH to cancel the boat trip and spend the day with you. Kate can find something else to do and someone else to do it with.

Annabellouise · 07/08/2025 23:59

Kate must have been the only yabu vote.

Squigglydums · 07/08/2025 23:57

SunnyBlueSeal · 07/08/2025 20:45

I’m not being passive, as many of you mentioned, I’m asking for advice because I wasn’t sure how to feel about the situation. And from the comments, my DH is shit and my friend is more shit.
My DH and DC just got back from dinner with the other friends. I texted Kate saying that we enjoyed spending time with them but we want to spend tomorrow as a family and we can see them for a drink tomorrow night before we have dinner. I texted that on our WhatsApp group with her DH. If she arranges something with my DH privately, then I know something is definitely up and I will be pulling this us in front of all of them

Sorry no. This makes it even worse. You have a WhatsApp group and they are still privately making plans. Why can they not put the plans int he WhatsApp group?

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 07/08/2025 23:52

OneNeatBlueOrca · 07/08/2025 23:47

So it's all the woman's fault eh.

He isn't trying to shag kate? It's all the woman's fault.

No, she needs to tell her husband to his face to stop messaging kate and stop trying to shag her.

To be fair, blokes can’t help who they fancy.

OneNeatBlueOrca · 07/08/2025 23:47

Marmiv87 · 07/08/2025 23:43

You need to get off mumsnet, phone Kate and tell her to stop messaging YOUR husband

Then you tell your husband hes not to have any communication with Kate because she’s your
friend not his.

Tell Kate she’s a snide and say you and your husband don’t want to be in her company and she will have to do things with her own husband

If either of them message each other, make
plans they tell them to fuck off as they are blatently disrespecting you

Sorry but trust your gut she’s trying to shag
him and will do if you don’t tell her to fuck off

Also have a word with Kates husband and let
him know the score.
.

Edited

So it's all the woman's fault eh.

He isn't trying to shag kate? It's all the woman's fault.

No, she needs to tell her husband to his face to stop messaging kate and stop trying to shag her.

WhatdoesitmeanKeith · 07/08/2025 23:47

Well as pick me dances go, this approach is certainly… unorthodox.

OneNeatBlueOrca · 07/08/2025 23:46

hairypenis · 07/08/2025 15:03

yeah, they are shagging

Or they're thinking about it.

Think about it affairs, don't start by one person walking up to the other in saying, do you want an affair. They start by what you ve, just described gradually becoming closer and closer.

I'd be majorly annoyed

I would actually say to my husband next time.Do you want me to leave the two of you alone. Then see what he says

Marmiv87 · 07/08/2025 23:43

You need to get off mumsnet, phone Kate and tell her to stop messaging YOUR husband

Then you tell your husband hes not to have any communication with Kate because she’s your
friend not his.

Tell Kate she’s a snide and say you and your husband don’t want to be in her company and she will have to do things with her own husband

If either of them message each other, make
plans they tell them to fuck off as they are blatently disrespecting you

Sorry but trust your gut she’s trying to shag
him and will do if you don’t tell her to fuck off

Also have a word with Kates husband and let
him know the score.
.

TheaBrandt1 · 07/08/2025 23:37

A friend of a friend did this went on holiday with another family and she was shagging her friends Dh sneaking around. So it does happen. I was shocked

thebraveryofbeingoutofrange · 07/08/2025 23:33

RedRec · 07/08/2025 23:31

Love the sparkling water detail 🤣🤣🤣

sparkling water can potentially cause diarrhea, especially in individuals with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) or those sensitive to carbonation. The carbonation in sparkling water can lead to gas and bloating, which may trigger or worsen diarrhea in susceptible individuals. Additionally, some sparkling waters contain artificial sweeteners like sucralose, which can further disrupt the gut microbiome and contribute to diarrhea.