AIBU to ask if you had your own Mother present when you gave birth?

Absolutely! Couldn’t have done it without her and DH by my side. My DC were all high risk pregnancies and births though, so we figured if anything happened then DH could go with his baby and DM would stay with hers.

I had her there with my first, but she was a pain in the arse offering no support whatsoever but sat moaning about everything for the entire thing. She was out of the door within 5 minutes of the birth. She went home in a taxi and I didn’t hear from her again for ten days! (Those were the pre-mobile days)

Needless to say, she wasn’t invited back for the births of my subsequent DCs.

I couldn't think of anything worse than having my mother with me!

I haven't come across this IRL. Actually, I take it back. My friend was is tue delivery room when her brother was being born. So friends mum and her husband and older daughter. Otherwise it has only come across in tv and Internet. But maybe I'll meet someone who had multiple people present.

Similarly don't know anyone who has had extended family in the waiting room, but that seems to be a thing aswell.

My Mum (and Dad) were at the hospital when I had my eldest, as I had an emergency Caesarean and was scared. My partner was with me when I had the Caesarean and my parents waited nervously in the other room until my partner came out and told them she had been born. My Mum wanted to be there if I’d had a natural birth, but I felt she would find it distressing seeing me in so much pain and not knowing what to do!

I’ve got three daughters, if they wanted me to be there I would but equally I’d not be offended if they didn’t. It’s whatever would make them feel most calm.

No, but not for the lack of trying. She lived a far distance from me at the time and babies arrived before she got here. I had home births.

When I was pregnant, the thought crossed my mind and I asked mum if she would wver consider being my birth partner. I've no idea why, as we aren't close but i think I was feeling very vulnerable after a very difficult birth with my first. She pulled a twisted face and said 'why don't you ask your mother in law, you two seem very pally'. So I dropped it (thankfully). A few weeks later, she annoyed me about somwthinfg while I was visiting her, so I just calmly and quietly left her house to avoid an argument. She started sending me an onslaught of abusive messages telling me that I made the entire family very sad and my behaviour was disgusting. I begged her to stop, told her I was almost 8 months pregnant and didn't want to fight, but she wouldn't speak to me. My dad had to intervene and we eventually made some sort of truce.

A few weeks later, I was staying with my mother the night my waters broke at 36 weeks pregnant. I was standing in my bare feet with amniotic fluid pouring down my legs and was crying because it was too early and I was scared. She said 'I can't say I think much of that tattoo on your foot'. I was so anxious amd she kept rolling her eyes saying 'for God's sake, it's not like you're 24 weeks or something!'

She fell out with me again when the baby was 3 weeks old because she assumed I would be coming to her house for Sunday dinner even though I'd made other plans.

So no. I knew she would make comments about me being a wimp during labour or would try to embarrass me afterwards. She came to visit me in the early stages of labour and I just kept trying to hide my tattoo from her. It makes me sad to remember.

Absolutely not. But they lived hundreds of miles away, so it wouldn’t have been practical anyway.

No because she had died when I was a teen. I would have hated it anyway I didn't even have dh with me, he's squeamish and I hate being fussed over. I did stay with dd and saw dgs born because she asked me to because she was going to be a single parent. It was a huge privilege and I was in awe of dd's strength as I'm one who wants an epidural preferably before I get a twinge where dd needed just an odd puff on gas and air.

I am immensely close to my mum but she was adamant that it was an experience between me and and my husband alone and it wasn’t for her to intrude on that. She raced over when we called her after though!

I gave birth in the 70's and (to my knowledge) nobody was allowed in back then. But, even if they were, I would not have wanted my mother, husband, best friend or anyone. The thought makes me shudder to be honest but I appreciate that's probably just me.

I’m a granny to 8 and was present at the birth of all 8 of my grandchildren. I never asked to be present but my daughters and daughters (in law) all asked me to be there. At some of the births the dads to be were also there but at others I was the only person apart from medical staff, and at one of the births I was there with my daughter (in laws) mum due to a language barrier.

None if the births were the same though they were all beautiful.

Common for everyone i know to have 2 birth partners.

I hoped to, but then covid meant I laboured alone in hospital for 20hrs until my one designated person - my husband was permitted in. I wish it had been different, my husband walked into a room prepping for an emergency c section and was clueless. My mum isn't just a random person, she gave birth to me, raised me. She was there supporting me when I had a bad miscarriage and needed to be hospilized. She was able to advocate for me and was support my then partner when I couldn't. Not everyone has that relationship, but im glad I do.

God that’s awful, birth isn’t neat and tidy! She’d have loved me as I did a big poo during contractions 😂 We are making human beings FFS

My mum has been at the birth of all my kids. Couldn't have done it without her

I wasn't sure if I wanted her there or not, but when it came to it I'm so glad she was. Then DP was fucking useless.

My DM was there alongside my DH when I gave birth. My DM is calm, practical and easy going.
I realise it’s not for everyone and very much each to their own.
Maybe a ‘normal’ thing for us to consider as my maternal grandmother was the midwife assisting the doc when my DM gave birth to me

No.. love my mum but she wouldn’t have been the best support.

My mum was there for my first, the dad massively let me down by not being present when he should have been, so I made him wait outside.
the others she was the babysitter, so it was me and exH

I don't think people fall into "no way" or "yes because we're codependent" and it seems somewhat insulting to those who'd like their mothers with them

My mum was there for my first, it wasn’t planned, she came for DH to go and get something to eat, but when she arrived it was the time for the baby to be born. I wouldn’t have planned for her to be born it just happened.

I have been thinking about this thread, and now I am kicking myself for not asking my wonderful MIL to be there for the birth of ds1 - I think she would have been a great support for me and for dh, and she’d have loved being there for the arrival of her first grandchild.

She was an amazing MIL, and I was so lucky to have her in my life.

My mum, on the other hand, wouldn’t have been at all sympathetic or supportive - as I said earlier, if she had even bothered to come.

IRL I idyllic know one case where someone had their mother in the delivery room. The babies father had died during pregnancy.

Are we talking about having mum there in addition to partner or them being the support person. If I didn't have a partner, then i could see having my mum there. But my partner and my mother? Nope.

Otherwise Internet is the only place ive heard women having more than one person in the delivery room.