AIBU to ask if you had your own Mother present when you gave birth?

I did; I was a teenager and scared.

I wouldn't if we were having any more children.

Yes i had my mother there and am hoping she is here for my next birth. My dp is absolutely useless and causes me a lot more stress and wont advocate for me just tells me to do what the midwives tell me whereas my lovely mum tells them what i want. Years ago it was the norm for mothers to be at births and not husbands. I find it utterly peculiar the new attitudes people have that you must have the babies father there and absolutely no one else.

My mother definitely wanted to be there, but there was no way I’d have wanted her there. It’s a moment for the parents (I guess it’s different if someone is a single mother or the father can’t be present for some reason)

I didn't have my mom in the delivery room, she was just outside in the hall.
I was present for my daughters first child, but stayed home with first child when second one was born.
I didn't find it traumatic to be there. I also felt honoured that I was there. I also took the first family photo.(mom, dad, baby)
I didn't take any embarrassing photos just the one.

I couldn't imagine anything worse. Then again, I woud have been perfectly content if DH had left and just let me and the midwives get on with it. What use is someone standing uselessly by the side of the bed gawping at you?

I wouldn’t like it but I definitely don’t think there’s anything strange about it and it’s quite rude for some people to be saying there is. Probably more normal historically than the father being there!

No all four times.

I didn't mean to have my mum there, but she came down to the delivery suite to keep me company as I was being induced and thought it would take hours. We planned to play cards! It did not take hours and there was no card playing, so she was there for the birth. I totally didn't care who was there. Just me and DH for equally speedy baby no2 though.

Hello no. I’d sooner have given birth on the centre circle at Wembley than with my Mother in the room.

As a Canadian (retired) labor and delivery nurse, I’d say 25% have moms present. I’d also say extremely few male partners are remotely helpful. Zero men seem to know how to tie back their partners hair, or know what a damn head band is. They need guidance to rub backs and massage legs for 5 seconds before being bored. They need direction in all things including what food or drink options would be suitable; Big Mac during transition, orange gateraid.
DD requested I attend her second delivery, absolutely beautiful.

When I had my first daughter my mum popped in to see me as she was the sister on the ward above! I was taken in with preeclampsia when I was 34 weeks and in those days 35+ years ago, you were on bed rest.They would induce at 38 weeks.
Mum came to see me every morning before she started her shift and at lunchtime.
During labour she came in once but obviously she was at working. She did arrange for my dh to have a meal which is more than I got! When our daughter was born the staff left the three of us alone for a little while so we could have a few precious minutes just us. After I had been made comfortable both my Mum and Dad were allowed in the delivery room to see her their first grandchild.

No, I didn't. She ended up being out of the country on holiday both times in the end (not deliberately timed!) but I wouldn't have wanted her with me. We have a great relationship and I love her loads, but I didn't need her for childbirth. Needed her for plenty else afterwards though!

Yes and she was very helpful. I’d been pushing for 2 hours and nothing was happening. In the end, she told the midwife that if she didn’t get the doctor then she (my mum) was going to find one! When the doctor arrived, she actually said to the midwife ‘why didn’t you get me sooner?’ before delivering my daughter via ventouse.

I wanted it just to be dh and I. I don't think it was ever suggested my mum might be there. Everyone was very welcome once she was born. Dh's family waited until we were settled at home as it took about a week for dd and I to be discharged as it was a tricky birth and she wasn't well, but that was their choice. My parents visited the day after she arrived!

My mum was at my 1st, 2nd was a section but she was in the waiting room, 3rd was pretty much half the family as DS came so quickly. Mum was also at my sisters births too.

God no! I would have had my mother in law there if she wanted to be as we are very close.

In the end I had two sections so only my husband was allowed in anyway.

My plan was to have my husband there and the midwife gave us an ETA for baby arrival which he communicated to my parents, they arrived hoping to meet the baby after my husband and I had had sometime on our own with him. Baby didn’t play ball with this plan, my parents arrived, many more hours passed by, still no baby, my husband took a break outside with my dad, then I was taken into surgery and my mum was the only one there so along she came too! My husband missed the birth! Nobody was upset though and my mum now says it was one of the highlights of her life!

No I just wanted my husband with me. I actually think it’s a really strange thing to not have the person that you’ve supposedly chosen to spend the rest of your life with not be the first person you seek comfort from. It could be a coincidence and I’m probably being terribly judgemental but of the few people I know that chose their mother over their partner are now divorced.

Yes, I did with my first one. I wanted her there as well as DH because I thought her profession (and personality) would make her a better advocate for me if things went wrong than DH who hates hospitals. Also, she had given birth three times and been at two of my sisters births by then so I trusted she know something about it. Now she is older I wouldn’t do it (but also it’s highly unlikely I’d have another baby!) because she is more likely to get anxious and panicky now, but at the time I saw her as (and she was) strong and capable and with my best interests always at heart.

Good Lord, no!
I didn’t even want DP there (despite the midwife’s insistence that he HAD to be there for the whole labour)… he’s incredibly squeamish with blood/pain/hospitals, and I’m incredibly irritable and intolerant when I’m in pain so I was happy for him to leave me to it and just pop in to see baby come out.
In the end he went out and the (other, nice) midwife phoned him to come back in just as baby was being pushed out. He still stayed away from the business end.

I’m extremely close to my mother but I would categorically not want her at the birth of my children. Me and my DH were fine on are own.

I had both my mum & my husband there with my when I had my daughter. Was really very grateful of that when things turned very urgent, the emergency alarm’s were pushed within seconds of her being born & both of us had to be rushed in different directions due to pph/sepsis as it meant my husband went with baby and mum stayed with me. I’d have been terrified to be alone in those moment's but equally could not have had my baby be alone. I’d love to have my mum there again for this baby but she may be looking after our eldest so we will see.

It is pretty normal to be mum & partner among people we know though, I don’t know anyone who didn’t have their mum there.

I had just DH there. Partly because I wanted those first minutes/hours just us three and also because I didn't want that part of me on show to my mother. She never expected for a moment to be there.

I have two DDs but likewise, I wouldn't expect to be invited if they ever have babies. If they asked I would consider it, but I'd stay away from the 'business end' to preserve their dignity.

Jesus, no. I love my mum and we get on well but absolutely not. I only wanted my Dh there when our kids were born. He’d have also hated it if I’d asked my mum to be there too - luckily I agreed that it’s really odd in cases where your partner is helpful and supportive.

To add, I don’t want to be there if/when my daughter has a baby either!

Never in a month of Sundays.

However a friend had her mum and not her DH twice because the DH passes out at the sight of blood.