AIBU to ask if you had your own Mother present when you gave birth?

I barely wanted to be at my own birth

😂

OP, I love my mother and we're close, but I wouldn't have wanted her at my birth.

No. But she was my stand-by.

No. I had planned CSs both times, and only one person is allowed in the theatre with you anyway, but I know my mum did really want to be in there. For her sake, not mine. She went cold turkey on HRT just before I fell pregnant with my first and was an absolute nightmare for the whole time, and then when staying after to "help" me recover. It scarred me so much that when planning for DC2's birth, during COVID restrictions, we knew DH would have to test negative before being allowed in with me and I planned for my dad as back up if DH had tested positive. Thankfully DH was negative and never had to have that convo with my parents, but I needed someone I could rely on in the ward to keep me and the baby fed, watered and pain free without taking over...

Nope I would rather give birth alone if my partner couldn't be there . I get on fine with my mum its just a bit weird.

No, I felt like I’d be in enough pain without adding her presence tbh

My mum was there for the labour with my dh, but at the final stages I was taken to theatre so only dh could come, otherwise she would have seen the birth. My mum has been present for 5 of her DGG. Myself and my sisters all wanted her there alongside our DH’s. My SIL had her mum present at her births. I think it’s fairly common, well it certainly is in my circles.

No, she does not cope with anything at all medical. Goes into a massive fret and it would have been grim for us both. I love her dearly but she was not a good choice as birth supporter. DD2 was a planned home birth and I didn't tell my mum that was what we'd decided on as she'd have worried too much. DH was a superb birth supporter 😀

I didn’t even have DH second time around, he was at home with DC1. It went much smoother with just me and the midwives. I’d have clamped completely shut with my mother there as well faffing about. No thank you!

God no. My mum's a worrier and a fusser(rerer?) she would've driven me up the wall.

I had my DH and my sister. My sister was necessary as my DH is useless in pressured situations, so I needed my sister in case shit hit the fan. As it is I ended with an emergency section so my sister had to wait around but I know how much she loved being there for DD1 as soon as she was born. Plus she helped my DH with the nappy and outfit as again, he was pretty useless :D (he learned quickly!)

She was slightly traumatised by it though so absolutely refused to be involved in DD2's birth!

I gave birth in 1980 with my mother there.

Id rather have given birth in the middle of the High street at lunchtime than have my mother at the birth!

No! She would have stressed me out even more. She did gently broach the subject for DC1 as many of her friends were in the delivery room with their daughters but they were much, much younger than me at the time, and I shut that down pretty quickly.

If DH wasn't able to make it - he worked away quite a lot at the time - I would have had a friend over my mother.

I'm not sure I know anyone who had their mother in the delivery room, so it's not the usual in my circles.

I had my mum there plus my husband.
It was helpful because I had an extremely long labour so they could take turns supporting me.
When we were at home whilst I laboured my mum brought us food and helped out etc.
I had a hemorage after birth and my mum held the baby while my husband was supporting me.
I was grateful to have her there.
I wasn't certain whether to have her and went back and forth on it but it was the right choice.
She supported both me and my husband and didn't feel to smothered. I made a point in saying she needed to not to chat too much to the midwives haha!

My mother was with me although she had originally wanted me to have an abortion. She doted on my daughter and I'm glad she was there in the end.

i was with my daughter for her first two births and I will remember them all my life as wonderful experiences. One was in hospital with twins and one was a home birth.

No. I actually think my mum would’ve been good in a childbirth situation (trained nurse with 4 kids of her own) but she despises me, and I her frankly, for a number of sad reasons. If we had had a better relationship I would’ve been open to it, I imagine a woman who has given birth herself would be more useful than a clueless man (looking at you DH who forgot my hospital bag)

My mum was there when I had my twins, but that's because I was single by then. My best friend was going to be there, but then she moved abroad.
We've never been particularly close, and I suspect she'd rather she didn't have to be there, but I literally had nobody else.
I ended up in the hospital for 3 days while I was being (unsuccessfully) induced. On the 4th end I ended up with an emergency c-section. It was a long time for her to be there, but i was grateful as she kept her cool and was reassuring.

She seemed quite pleased to be the first one to see the twins and gold them though.

Tbh, if i hadn't have been single, it never would have occurred to me to have my mum there. And I suspect she would agree.

I don’t know a single person who has had their mother at their birth. Unless you are from a different culture where this is more acceptable, I’d say it was really rare in the UK.

Well I find it utterly peculiar that you would marry and have children with someone who you consider useless and who wouldn't advocate for you.

No!

I had a high risk pregnancy and was on bed rest and my DH was working at the other end of the country with my mum and my MIL (very kindly) taking it in turns to stay and help me with my toddler. Even then, my birth plan was to go on my own and to be supported by my sister (an hour away) and then DH (eight hours away) as soon as possible. I have a decent relationship with both of them, and am very grateful for the help they gave me, but I would have gone on my own rather than have my mum there!

When I gave birth in the 70s and 80s, this was not a thing! My mother would have been horrified to be asked, she had 4 of her own and I think, had had her fill 🤣
In fact husbands weren't really encouraged, and mine was sent home as the labour was rather slow, so missed it.

Cannot imagine it, but if someone felt it would bring them comfort, crack on.

No. I had 2 c sections, first during Covid so could only have one visitor anyway but I wouldn’t have wanted anyone other than my husband there. My mum is not a calming influence !!

I had both my husband and mum there as i wanted them both there. I thought it was quue normal, but reading these responses it appears I was in a minority...

Christ no ! And I was very close to my mother . With the first both my mum and sister were at the hospital waiting in the corridor but left as soon as it was ascertained that both of us were ok ( I’d been very sick throughout the pregnancy) . Ironically just after they left I haemorrhaged . With the second I had an ELCS and they weren’t on the premises .

No, adore my mum, but no 😂 she’d have driven me crazy. Just me and my husband