Page 2 | To find it a bit performative when people say “I love my job?”

neverbeenskiing · 07/08/2025 15:23

Loving the mission or being grateful for the flexibility makes sense but loving the actual job? Day in, day out? Really?

Yes. Really.

I'm sorry if that's not how you feel, but that doesn't mean that people who feel differently must be exaggerating or being "performative".

I don't gush about my job on SM because I don't really do SM, but life is too short to hide your passion and enthusiasm for things just in case someone decides it must be "performative" because they can't personally relate to it.

FrodoBiggins · 07/08/2025 15:16

OP your problem seems to be with anyone being OTT or performative about anything. It's that fair?

Does it annoy you when people bang on about how much they love a certain food, or hobby, or their kids, or their pet?

I absolutely love my job. I don't say it on SM really but I might say it in a work context especially if I were asked to talk to someone interested in joining my profession. I can love it even if there are annoying parts, just like people love their baby even if they scream through the night, or love baking even if washing up is a ballache.

TeachesOfPeaches · 07/08/2025 15:14

I seen a man that’s been pushing trollies in Sainsbury’s car park for 25 years genuinely exclaiming how much he enjoys it. I was quite envious.

kendal77 · 07/08/2025 15:12

I'll bite..

My bet is you are a neurotypical extrovert with a really good work life balance. Correct?

Original poster

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 15:11

Didimum · 07/08/2025 15:05

Specifically, what denotes it as image more than substance?

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I think we’re just seeing it differently. For me, it’s not about pinning down a single marker, it’s the overall tone, context, and repetition in certain professional settings that sometimes feels more about optics. You’re free to disagree but I’ve already explained where I’m coming from.

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VintageMarket · 07/08/2025 15:10

@MyQuaintQuoter Perhaps your noticing this is an indication that you're in the wrong job/industry or have tired of it and want out.

Didimum · 07/08/2025 15:05

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 14:57

I’m reflecting on how certain public declarations of job love sometimes feel like performance, especially in curated contexts like LinkedIn or meetings. The tone, timing and repetition can seem more about image than substance. That doesn’t mean everyone is performative but it’s fair to question how workplace culture encourages some to overstate enthusiasm, consciously or not.

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Specifically, what denotes it as image more than substance?

42wallabywaysydney · 07/08/2025 15:03

I love my job but I would never say it out loud especially at work, agree it’s weird and performative.

VintageMarket · 07/08/2025 15:02

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 14:58

I think it probably is more common in certain industries, especially ones where personal branding or networking is a big deal. I’m more referring to those contexts than quieter, behind the scenes jobs. The performativity shows up more where visibility matters.

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Speaking as an outsider the whole world of 'personal branding' and 'networking' seems like bullshit a performance.

surreygirl1987 · 07/08/2025 15:01

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 14:08

Thanks, I don’t doubt some people genuinely enjoy their work. I guess my post is more about the performance of loving your job, especially when it’s loudly or repeatedly stated. There’s a difference between quietly appreciating your role and using “I love my job!” as a kind of self-branding or status signal. That’s what I’m questioning.

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I say it loudly. I say it repeatedly. Because it's true - I do love my job (most of the time). Why is that such a problem for you?

surreygirl1987 · 07/08/2025 14:59

I love my job and I say it a lot. I've even said to my husband that I'd probably carry on working at it (but massively part time) if I won the lottery and didn't have to work. I also hate it sometimes though - there are bad days and days when I'd like to jack it in. But yeh, I mostly love it. What's wrong with saying that? You basically sound jealous of people that love their jobs, which is a pity.

Original poster

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 14:58

NuffSaidSam · 07/08/2025 14:51

I love my job.

I'm not really familiar with what you're talking about, but I don't have the sort of job where there are meetings or people have linked in profiles.

Maybe it's something specific to your industry/related industries?

I think it probably is more common in certain industries, especially ones where personal branding or networking is a big deal. I’m more referring to those contexts than quieter, behind the scenes jobs. The performativity shows up more where visibility matters.

OP posts:

Original poster

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 14:57

Didimum · 07/08/2025 14:51

So what are you questioning about it? What part of it are you reflect on, and why? Another poster has also brought that up and you were unable to answer.

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I’m reflecting on how certain public declarations of job love sometimes feel like performance, especially in curated contexts like LinkedIn or meetings. The tone, timing and repetition can seem more about image than substance. That doesn’t mean everyone is performative but it’s fair to question how workplace culture encourages some to overstate enthusiasm, consciously or not.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 07/08/2025 14:51

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 14:34

You seem really defensive. I didn’t say no one can love their job, just that sometimes the way it’s expressed feels more like performance than reality. That doesn’t mean everyone’s faking it but we’re all allowed to notice patterns and ask questions, especially when we see the same tone pop up again and again in curated public spaces.

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This is classic MN. You say something a little ill-thought-out and insular. Fair play we all need to step outside our bubble and understand that people feel differently to us. Instead of just understanding that, you move the goalposts. Then accuse people of being defensive.

Just do the thing that so few do, acknowledge that people feel differently to you.

BTW job satisfaction is heritable and therefore at least partly hardwired. If you don't feel it, you probably skipped that gene.

NuffSaidSam · 07/08/2025 14:51

I love my job.

I'm not really familiar with what you're talking about, but I don't have the sort of job where there are meetings or people have linked in profiles.

Maybe it's something specific to your industry/related industries?

Didimum · 07/08/2025 14:51

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 14:46

I think you’re reading more into my post than was there. I haven’t berated anyone or said outward emotion is harmful or embarrassing. I raised a question about how some expressions of loving work can sometimes feel performative, especially in certain professional or social media settings. That’s not the same as saying no one can genuinely feel that way. But it’s okay to notice trends, reflect on them, and open up space for different perspectives, even if they don’t align with your own.

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So what are you questioning about it? What part of it are you reflect on, and why? Another poster has also brought that up and you were unable to answer.

VintageMarket · 07/08/2025 14:47

Seems to me you're saying that some people, sometimes are gushing about their job.

Perhaps they are.

Doesn't mean that all people who say they love their job are performative.

"Maybe I’m jaded but most jobs come with stress, bureaucracy, and annoying people. "

Some people enjoy the challenge of dealing with those things and it's a part of their job that satisfies them.

I was a gardener in my last job. No stress, bureaucracy or annoying people.

Original poster

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 14:46

Didimum · 07/08/2025 14:39

It's beyond boring that there are multiple threads on MN daily about outward emotion being 'performative'.

I do not feel defensive, as I don't do any of the behaviours that you have listed.

I have no understanding and see no justification whatsoever in multiple posters continually berating displays of emotion with the claim or insinuation that, when displayed in a way that you simply as an individual wouldn't, it is in someway harmful, ridiculous, embarrassing, or whatever negative adjective you want to put on it.

Let people be.

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I think you’re reading more into my post than was there. I haven’t berated anyone or said outward emotion is harmful or embarrassing. I raised a question about how some expressions of loving work can sometimes feel performative, especially in certain professional or social media settings. That’s not the same as saying no one can genuinely feel that way. But it’s okay to notice trends, reflect on them, and open up space for different perspectives, even if they don’t align with your own.

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Didimum · 07/08/2025 14:39

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 14:34

You seem really defensive. I didn’t say no one can love their job, just that sometimes the way it’s expressed feels more like performance than reality. That doesn’t mean everyone’s faking it but we’re all allowed to notice patterns and ask questions, especially when we see the same tone pop up again and again in curated public spaces.

Show quote history

It's beyond boring that there are multiple threads on MN daily about outward emotion being 'performative'.

I do not feel defensive, as I don't do any of the behaviours that you have listed.

I have no understanding and see no justification whatsoever in multiple posters continually berating displays of emotion with the claim or insinuation that, when displayed in a way that you simply as an individual wouldn't, it is in someway harmful, ridiculous, embarrassing, or whatever negative adjective you want to put on it.

Let people be.

Gowlett · 07/08/2025 14:36

I don’t hate my job…

Velmy · 07/08/2025 14:35

I've never seen anyone jump up and declare that they love their job in an all-hands meeting.

LinkedIn on the other hand...ignore it, it's not real.

ChiliFiend · 07/08/2025 14:34

I love my job, and I say it a lot. My job makes me feel good about myself because I know I am good at it, and I am actively enjoying it for the majority of my day. I feel very grateful for it. Why shouldn't I say it? We're not all obligated to dislike our jobs.

Original poster

MyQuaintQuoter · 07/08/2025 14:34

Didimum · 07/08/2025 14:28

Christ – why is Mumsnet SO OBSESSED with things being performative?

I love my job. Yes, I genuinely do love it. I would continue to do it if I won the lottery. Yes, I know others who genuinely love their jobs too.

Stop being so suspicious of people's intentions. People are allowed to display high outward emotion and enthusiasm without it being 'performative'.

You seem really defensive. I didn’t say no one can love their job, just that sometimes the way it’s expressed feels more like performance than reality. That doesn’t mean everyone’s faking it but we’re all allowed to notice patterns and ask questions, especially when we see the same tone pop up again and again in curated public spaces.

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Cherrycola4 · 07/08/2025 14:33

I say it all the time, but I work with children and I genuinely love it.

LacStCharles · 07/08/2025 14:31

I love my job.

There is also stress, bureaucracy, and annoying people but that doesn't get in the way of me absolutely loving it (most of the time).