To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

How old are your children? Would you go self employed? Dog walker / groomer?

What about being a PA? There are lots of people looking for a PA who receive direct payments rather than having a package of care.

Hours are usually negotiable. It’s unlikely to be term time only but gives you an income all year round and with some planning childcare can be sorted - ask friends and reciprocate having their dc in return, ask family for the odd day of help, look what clubs are available in your area and work with your DH to make sure you’re both contributing to this side of family life. it was like planning a military operation when our dc were young but definitely worth it. Good luck!

If they can't do childcare it's pointless living near them.

you're a right charmer aren't you
onky want relationships with people who you can 'use' .

@SoftAsShit what role do you currently do in school?
Come September once the needs of children are known there might be SEN TA roles that come up within the school.
Have you actually asked about additional hours? My workplace usually would rather give current staff extra before advertising for new staff.
Is there a breakfast or after-school club? Have you spoken to whoever runs this about picking up any hours?

As others have said you do need need to compromise on what you want, or accept things the way they are. I know that working as a TA isn't great pay wise and I am over qualified for this role, but I wanted a term time job and didn't want to continue teaching.
There are apparently jobs in the civil service that offer term time only, but I personally have never seen these and also not living near a big city there are never any roles on offer as they all now require going into the office some days.

try the civil service - lots of WFH entry level admin roles and they are very happy to consider different working patterns like term time only

Not sure what you want from this post. You have given reasons why you can't/won't work more hours, are picky about which jobs you would do, won't move, won't pay for childcare and assuming your family that you live near wouldn't help out or you would have asked?

Could you offer a service eg ironing, cleaning, childminding? There are limited options when you live rurally and are restricted to term time school hours.
You ask how people do it they make sacrifices. My friend pays more for childcare in the hols than she earns. But she gets pension contributions and it benefits her mental health to work. I would be financially comfortable working full time but get stressed as a single parent juggling clubs, appointments, demanding job so I accept finances being tighter now for a slightly easier life. It's all trade offs and what benefits family life more money or more stress theres no magic solution unfortunately.

No, she's hoping someone can suggest something she hasn't thought about.

just because she has lots of reasons things won't work in her situation, doesn't mean they're not valid reasons.

shes here because she WANTS more work. But needs something different to the big standard answers. She's hoping someone has a novel suggestion.

stop being so narky.

I'd look at what training is available for you (maybe online stuff?), and then go from there. Get trained up in something else whilst the DC are young as it might open a few more doors. I wouldn't know what to suggest job wise in the meantime, apart from maybe cleaning (perhaps sign on to an agency for adhoc evening/weekend work?). How old are your DC?

It's always a hard slog when you're juggling work and childcare: there was a point where my childcare costs were close to my take home pay (I'm a nurse)! Unfortunately, I couldn't stop work as I was the breadwinner (and then a single parent) and would have ended up losing NI and pension contributions (and my NMC registration). I negotiated my shift times though (that might be a possibility for jobs for you) when XH left and I was really up shit creek. Once the DC were older and didn't need childcare/could get themselves to/from school, it was much easier. Before then, it was nursery when they were tiny, then wraparound care, and a weekend childminder (before I was able to negotiate start/finish times).

How do people do it 😞

Well honestly? Better choices. Two adults with flexibility in their jobs and WFH options. Not living rurally so we have options for work and childcare. Making friends locally to share the holiday burden with. Having one child so that the finances are easier. DD's doing about 2 days of holiday clubs per week and then we manage with annual leave or just sharing between us.

Today I'm WFH and DD is playing over at a neighbours. She pops back for food and to get things, or they come here and play. I finish work at 2.

Your answers are very defeatist, can't do this or that for this reason. So what do you want? People manage by planning and making decisions around where to work, live, and how many children to have to try and mitigate situations like yours happening.

Some Councils, at least theoretically, say they will consider term time only hours.

Look for remote working jobs. I know people who do call Centre type jobs from home. zero hours contracts will offer flexibility to work when suits. Sign up for alerts for zero hours / wfh/ flexible working jobs. Public and Third sector seem to have kept to this more the private sector ime. You need to make an active considerable effort to find jobs that will suit you.

You say part of your problems are boredom and lack of qualifications, could you look into what adult education options there are which you could undertake? There are lots of distance learning options and often they can be reduced in cost if you are on a low income. Also, many councils will have funding available for adult education so it's worth looking into that. Perhaps your current workplace would consider some professional development courses for you?

Lots of others have suggested cleaning/dog walking etc. which are great ideas and I’m going to suggest dog sitting at home. Easy to register with the council, no special skills needed apart from a love of dogs, you can pick and choose which ones you take etc. so would only have ones you’d be comfortable with/around children.

Busiest times are usually the school holidays which is a plus for you by the sounds of it, as is you being rural with presumably lots of nice walks nearby?

When I had my dog it cost around £20 a night for her to be looked after at a dog-sitters home. We’d always have a ‘meet and greet’ beforehand and photos during the stay and I always used the same one (had more than one as I moved area).

Not entirely sure what you want from this post really. Everyone has to make their own decisions about what tradeoffs are best for them. You don’t want a long list of jobs, won’t work offset hours to your husband, won’t pay for childcare… that leaves you pretty much nowhere. There’s no such thing as a job that lets you work or not on your schedule and pays you huge amounts of money unless you have a specialist skill set.

I think you just need to accept that this is what your life looks like unless it’s worth it to you to compromise on something. Children are only young for so long though so I’d start thinking about what you want in a few years when you won’t be so tied down and start working towards that.

seems to me most of this could be solved by moving but you won’t do that either so…

Can you work as a band 2/3 on an NHS bank. 0 hour contract but most likely PLENTY of work, in my area you could work every day of the week if you wish. You can set your hours when it suits and work less during the holidays. You could work night shifts 2/3 nights a week, come home do school drop off, get to sleep, pick kids up and head out to work when DH is home. You accrue AL based on annual leave so would still be entitled to annual leave to get some payment during summer holidays when you work less. Can pick up extra shifts when DH is on annual leave, work weekends etc. it would offer complete flexibility and a decent wage. Of course it is not a desk job so there’s that to consider.

One of the healthcare assistants in my GP surgery used to be a dental nurse. gp surgeries tend to be flexible with hours

It sounds like you're after a unicorn job op. In the nicest possible way I don't think you can just get a magical job which doesn't involve being pushed out of your comfort zone so you either have to be more flexible on what you are prepared to do or accept that for now you will be a bit skint and a sahm.

Dh works days,I work in the evenings,only way we could do it.

Are you on medication for anxiety? It sounds as though it's really affecting you.

I think in your situation I'd look at setting up a cleaning business, OP. Would that be possible? Would you be able to travel to people's houses in school hours?

I wonder whether you could approach local teachers who might not want or need cleaners in the holidays but would be glad of it in term time.

It comes across that you don't actually want to do any more work, maybe you should focus on using your spare time to study so that when the kids are older you are more employable.

I think you could look at doing AAT online which would open up some doors for you to earn more when you do go back to work.

If you don't have any further qualifications already you may be entitled to study for free.

Options:

1. Be less picky, and suck up a job you don’t wish to do (sorry).
2. Start training in something
3. Start your own business e.g. dog walking, dog grooming, pet sitting, tutoring, childminding, babysitting, cleaning.
4. Move. Being too rural limits you.
5. Consider CBT for anxiety.

Unfortunately, we cannot have it all. I would love to live in a less costly area, but have to be close to London due to DH’s niche industry.

Could you do support work with adults with learning disabilities? It’s not WFH but I grew up in a very rural area and that was my mum’s job throughout my childhood. She could be flexible about her hours e.g 10-2.30 so she could do the school run and they didn’t require any qualifications.

I didn’t go to formal childcare because we couldn’t afford it, I went to friends houses and then my mum would have their kids another day. She did also take me to work with her occasionally which is probably frowned upon now!

Just what I was going to say. They're always looking for drivers in my area.

I live in a rural area op and there is a massive shortage of childcare. Could you look into childminding? It wouldn’t be for me - but a few new ones have just opened up in our area any are already completely fully booked.

supermarket job on evenings and weekends? Cleaning job? My friend does 5am-8am cleaning at a supermarket.

Obviously your post hides the fact that you got a man handling all your shortages. Ask him to support you.