To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

Exactly what we did for many years with four kids ! Paid very little in childcare. I worked nights and weekends around dh's 9-5 job.

Are you good with IT or numbers? Can you do some learning or training in your down time (when school restarts) to enable you to work on something like website design and maintenance or becoming a book-keeper/accounts technician/accountant?

what about dog walking or dog boarding - you could continue in the holidays? and … my DIL is training as a dog groomer and has taken a course in dog teeth cleaning - could you build on your dental nurse skills to offer this service? Are there any other ways you could build on those skills?

Have you tried temping work? You could register with an agency for something like short term data entry, work from home and do a couple of weeks at a time then not during the hols.

It might be a bit sporadic but worth a try?

The thing is OP whilst I do sympathise, lots of mumsnetters have had to do all the things you can’t/wont do in your mind because they wanted/needed a better income - be that moving away from family ( it’s not as if your family are doing lots of free childcare by the sound of it) - cutting commutes, places with more part time options or doing evening/weekend work in roles that in many cases are below people’s capabilities but do ‘fit’ the times they can do . Holidays- people spread annual leave between them , use holiday clubs, send slightly older kids off to camp Beaumont or PGL and factor the cost in as to what they earn over a year , and yes people do WFH jobs where they might be able to have a bit more flexibility - and hang onto them even if they hate the job . If you have kids then yes unless you have a great career with 9 to 5 and flexibility then the options are limiting and you have to consider options that ‘don’t really suit’ and work out how to make it work even if it involves spending all your salary 12 weeks a year on childcare etc - because 40 weeks a year- it doesn’t!!!

why don't you offer local babysitting, evening work, just sitting in someone's house watching their kids!

You sound terribly fussy and every suggestion that has been made you dismiss.

Why don’t you consider getting some more skills? That way you will increase your options

Op your making a lot of excuses of why you can't do things. Look at working nights or weekends. Work on techniques to improve your anxiety. That might open more opportunities for you

So if work isn’t an option then could you cut back at home? Children of that age are happy with the park, walks etc messy play etc. are there any areas you spend more than you need to?

So you live rurally but there’s no jobs near you.

No jobs near you but you won’t drive

You won’t move house because you’d be moving away from family. Who don’t do any childcare anyway so what’s the bonus there?

Could you try practising driving? Or getting a couple of refresher lessons to build your confidence?

How old are you children? Preschool childcare expensive but for school age children in the holidays it's much cheaper. Plus you and your DH will both have annual leave to take, so with a few weeks annual leave and a few weeks holiday childcare it should be do-able, even in a low paid role. If you worked part time you'd have less days to pay for.

Minimum wage is £12.21 x 8hrs per day = £97 per day, approx £90 after tax. The avergage cost of childcare during school holidays is £26 but let's say £30, x 2 children = £60 per day. So you'd easily still be making money. If you save and spread the cost over the year and use tax free childcare it would be even less than that. To say you can't afford it is not true. Other working families manage it.

Yes this! What ages were they when you were trying to wfh with them? No one can do this successfully @SoftAsShit. you need childcare…regardless!

Or supply TA agencies. You can do extra, as and when, alongside your current teaching job if that doesn’t give enough hours.

Why didn't you put your DC into childcare when you were WFH, rather than getting to the point of having a breakdown? Could you go back to that job and use a childminder?

Ask on your local Facebook page if anyone needs errands running, cleaning etc during school hours.

or look at supply care agencies. I should imagine there is plenty of opportunity there.

Several people have mentioned child minder.
Let me tell you about that. I wanted to do paid work outside the home and could not find child care. So, looked into childminding.

I worked the hours I wanted, the days I wanted. As a single parent I offered weekends(double time) Bank Holidays, Ad-Hoc days(double time, think long wedding days) school term, school holidays.
I earned enough to come off benefits and pay tax(simple online form).
It worked for me for 7 years until my little one finished primary school.

It started with a phone call to my local council to find out when their training days were. Did that(think child based first aid, policies etc). Got funding for fire blanket and stair gate. Claimed toy storage on expenses(generous tax break) Bought discounted robust insurance, contracts and a register through NCMA.

I can't drive. Parents drop off their dc, pick up their dc and pay your higher charge(you provide meals) or lower charge(they provide packed lunches etc)
The only thing in the house that takes a beating is your carpet! Soooo many spilled drinks....pay for carpet cleaner twice a year and claim expenses from the tax.
It is a job that adapts to whatever situation you are in. And don't undercharge!!

Use this time that you have to drive. I really don’t understand the “I’m not a confident driver” thing. Nobody is a confident driver until they practice and gain experience.

Would you expect to be a confident piano player with a handful of lessons? Of course not. Driving is a skill that needs to be practiced.

Earning money to be spent on childcare is not pointless (OMG I wish I could shout this from the rooftops!). You’d be gaining skills, work history, resume/CV content, work contacts, self confidence, potentially pension credits (I’m in a different country so am only surface level familiar with your retirement setups), and a whole host of other things.

Babysitting - I just saw an advertisement for someone on our local FB group offering after school babysitting/childcare. Weekend childcare / babysitting? Most mums would prefer someone with their own kids to babysit than a teen?

Im not sure what you expected from a work at home job. You would obviously have to… work… regardless of your childcare situation. Why would you expect otherwise?

If you don’t want anything to change then you aren’t in a position to work more than you do. Focus on the other side and see if you can cut costs somewhere. You either need to change something and earn more or change something and spend less and it doesn’t sound like you’re interested in working.

Could you not take on a remote job again and pay a local teenager to look after the kids for some of the holidays? Combining it with annual leave split between you and your husband

Part time retail work? Surely there is some kind of shop within reasonable distance? Could take on temp contracts during term time and leave when it’s the hols? Our Co Op is always looking for staff so could do an evening shift when DH with kids (evening shifts are something like 7-11pm). Supermarket restocking or merchandising clothing, big box retailer if any nearby like an M&S, Next, B&Q?

Can you say roughly where you live @SoftAsShit?

'But the latter was almost the issue, I felt like I was still expected to work with the kids home and I ended up being just too overwhelmed and had a breakdown.'

I hear your fears and your anxiety - they are clear. I truly hope you can find the therapy you need to work through this and get evening work in a bar etc so you don't have to pay for childcare and can earn extra money to ease things. But this sentence is the issue. OF COURSE you were expected to work!

Grrr this makes me so cross - there is no unicorn job where you get paid to NOT work but to just look after your kids. And if you have your (young) kids at home while you are supposed to be working you are, by definition, not working. Anyone who says they can just quickly check emails here and there - except in very unusual situations - will soon find themselves out of a job....

It's not just you paying for childcare though, it's a split cost (even if the number for the cost is the same number that you earn).

Best suggestion is night care work. Bank more hours when your husband is doing childcare or pay for childcare the next day to catch up on sleep as the hourly salary will be worth it on nights.