To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

Well most people suck it up and accept that for a few months their earnings are wiped out. Rather than leaving it all to their partners because they are picky and then whining about the time off 🙄

But you get 30hrs free childcare for the nursery one and after school clubs are very cheap, nowhere near minimum pay per hour so you have something left anyway? So why do you only work 10hrs? It doesnt seem to be a job worth sticking with so why not look for something different for at least 25 hrs?

Hats off to you! Thats dedication 👏

I do 21 hrs pw in a civil service admin role, hours are between school runs, term time contract. Most admin jobs are now 60 percent in the office but full WFH jobs do exist although few and far between. It doesn't pay a lot but it means I can keep my hand in and up hours once my kids are older. I hope you find something that suits you, it's great when it comes together and worth all the effort.

Work evenings/nights in a supermarket shelf stacking etc. That’s what my aunt did in your situation.

She said she does work in a school.

What do you do that's only 10hrs a week? Is it lunchtime supervisor? Is there any opportunity to be a TA at the school? They are often more like 25-30hrs a week and obvs only term time.

What about temping via an agency that way you could just choose hours/days that work for you

Agree with other posters you need to get a job in a school or college which would allow you to manage childcare.

Could you register as a childminder and offer holiday and wrap around to a child or 2 at DC's school?

Just be careful not to mull over too much !!

aka worry !!!

just start to make some changes - start tackling your anxiety and you will find u have much more choices !!

anxiety gets better by getting out of the comfort zone !!!

you sound passive / avoidant - come on start an action plan !!!

Sorry can’t read all the replies but are there any holiday clubs nearby run by the council? Our youngest goes to one that is £20 per day (we’re a higher middle income earning family) and its open to all (free places for those who qualify aswell). I work a part-time admin job so yes take a hit on pay in the holidays, but its obviously more than worth it in
the whole year. Have you looked at NHS jobs? Lots of bank work available so you could pick and choose extra work term-time and reduce it during the holidays.10 hours is very low for term-time (fully understand you have written about anxiety but increasing hours is really the only way).

Another suggestion is cleaning - its almost £20 an hour where we are and you would be working on your own. Are there air b&bs near you?

Your dh isn’t earning enough for you to be financially comfortable in your current situation. But your options are limited to things fitting around the Big Important Man Job.

What could do to increase his earnings or reduce his hours? This is a family problem, not just a you issue.

If you set up a joint account and pool your income you may not feel like childcare costs are such a burden as they would be shared rather than all coming from your money.

Definitely, childcare should always be a shared cost

Good points made here.

Why is the financing of the childcare on you only OP?

Do you actually see the income and Outgoings for the household? It rings alarm bells for financial abuse. All the childcare is on you to pay for and arrange because their dad covers all the other bills, he apparently has nothing left but you wouldn't even qualify for some help towards childcare. So your kept at home doing all the childcare with no money and no prospects whilst he carries on as normal.
If you set up a joint account and pool your income you may not feel like childcare costs are such a burden as they would be shared rather than all coming from your money.

I think you probably need to work on your MH first because otherwise you are limiting yourself so much unfortunately.

If you are WFH, you are paid to do just that, not look after your children, surely? Anyone would find that scenario stressful I’m sure.

Hope you find something, you’ve had a ton of great suggestions.

There are lots of call centre/admin jobs working from home. Some of them allow you to be part time. You could look for these kinds of jobs and work while the kids are in school.

Sorry should have also said that I am also in the civil service and things like pay grades, working arrangements are not universal they vary from department to department including leave allowance, flexible working arrangements.

That’s not always the case. Some CS jobs work on a hub basis and on your in office days you have to go into a central hub rather than the site nearest to you.100%WFH jobs in CS are very very rare.

You are not happy with circumstances as they are currently

so you either make some changes or you continue to be unhappy with how things are

you’ve got 17 weeks waiting for your therapy for anxiety to start but u can make a start in the meantime,

start driving more frequently
go places that make u anxious
start that graded exposure
avoiding won’t make anything better
and when u start therapy that is exactly what they will be asking u to do !!
if that’s too hard, talk to GP about medication for your anxiety
your recovery is your responsibility

then re visit all the very good ideas that have been listed here and then write a plan of what you CAN do rather than all the things you do t want to do -

Can you move closer to your husbands work so he isn't commuting so long? I know it sounds drastic but it makes such a difference. If its less rural its more opportunities for you too.

They will often advertise jobs nationally. Therefore u would choose the office u attend etc and some will offer work from home for certain jobs.

Evening/night work - could work but I’m unsure what’s around here that needs it other than bar work which I won’t do.

,,,so you haven’t even looked at what’s available?