To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

How about a job in a nursery that also acts as wraparound care in the holidays/around school times. They are calling out for staff and usually offer some sort of staff discount if you bring your kids to the same setting.

I work as a clerk to governors as a top up wage. Its mainly home based but I do have to travel to the schools for meeting. These range from 6 a year at some schools to 15 a year at others. So contracts range from 3 hours a week to 15.

The meetings tend to be evenings, so I hand our sen dc over to dh and head off.

It might top up your wage. No idea if you live in England tho. It might exit as a role in other bits of the uk, but I dont know thuer education systems.

If you break it down into chunks, how many days out of the working year do you need childcare for? You say you’ve family nearby; can someone step in if a child is sick? You need structure, plan a, plan b. Get out the calendar and say, right from 1 st September, how many hours are available to me even if it means leaning on other people and paying occasional childcare?

I really think you need to look at moving.

living totally is tough all round. Less job opportunities, less socialising, smaller world and so on.

Move, your husband can be closer to work so not travelling as much and able to do more drop offs and pick ups. You can have options for more jobs etc and you can socialise and get out more at toddler groups.

Your world sounds small and no wonder you’ve suffered with your mental health.

Sounds like she wants to get paid for looking after her kids

OP, the UK is a land of opportunities. Whether it be study, work, training etc. There’s something for everyone. You need focus on what you “ can”
do and not “ mull it over” too much. You are never going to hit perfection, but you can get out of the boredom/ low paid rut if you try. Even the most menial jobs can lead to something better . Do you have any hospitals or universities/ colleges near you? A major employment source!

Exactly. At my school, a PGCE is also preferable, due to the amount of teacher cover required ( but paid at TA wage!) Or apprenticeships are sometimes offered.

Why is it pointless? Your mental health and wellbeing are as important if not more important than just earning more.

And it's not forever. If your kids are little, then I'd honestly rethink the idea of moving house to a less rural area. I know you're not keen but everything you say suggests your not willing to go even one step out of your comfort zone. That would be fine if you were happy, but you're not.

Are you on the Work from Home Hub - UK on Facebook. They are posting dozens of WFH jobs all the time. You need to check it frequently and apply immediately if you see something because it’s a popular group and vacancies close early when they’ve received the pre requisite number of applications.

ewww why would you want to deal with the people that want botox/fillers? Also they are supposed to be regulating this area.

From my employment advisor days over 5 years ago the TA jobs were always in strong demand and increasingly schools can be selective and though not a legal requirement usually want minimum 4 GCSEs inc min C grade Eng/Maths. But many also increasingly demand a Teaching/Learning or Childcare formal qualification unless there is extensive experience already gained in this environment.

8 weeks of annual leave between you and your husband as a minimum leaves 5 weeks in the holidays to cover. Even if you overlap a week, that’s still only 6 weeks.

Have you looked into what the holiday clubs cost in your area and where you could potentially work? Ours range from £25 to £40. Once you utilise tax free childcare, that upper cost is £64 for 2 kids which should be above minimum wage after tax but covers 8:30 - 17:30.

You can also request to condense hours to effectively get days off without using leave and use unpaid parental leave (4 weeks per year per child).

For the rest of the year you are then earning more money with the exception of 5-6 weeks where you may at the most net off to zero. This should still be more than your current situation. Then look at how you can upskill and get some qualifications (I’ve just done it in my late 30’s) to increase how much you’re earning

I just want to add to this that as these are jobs a lot of young people and students do there are often people on Zero hours who can ONLY work school holidays. So you being able to only work term time would genuinely be helpful and work well. It's unlike other industries in that way as is dominated by students in college and uni and sixth form who all want more hours when they're off school.

Can you learn to do botox/fillers etc? A lot of nurses do that on the side, not sure about dental nurses.

Evening babysitting
Cleaning
Childminding
Remote admin/customer service shifts
Massage course so you can become a masseuse
Tutoring

Most people cannot be so picky about where they live. Your choice to live rural. Millions of people in the UK live in tiny cramped apartments in cities so they can get more work.

I myself grew up in a 1 bedroom apartment. My parents had the living room, I had the bedroom.

Not sure if it has been suggested but McDonald's is always a good option for weird shifts (early mornings/late nights/weekends) which you could fit around DH. Good pay as well.
What's wrong with retail? Stacking shelves in the evenings (e.g. Spar/co OP type places which are open late) has to be less anxiety inducing than bar work or waitressing

Ditto! It’s not just listening to kids read and washing out yoghurt pots any more. It’s mentally, physically and emotionally tiring and no soft option.

I don't really understand the argument about all of your salary going on childcare. That's what lots of us have had to do. When DDs were both in nursery I was bringing in £30 a month after fees were paid to the nursery. But obviously I was also getting the other benefits of career progression, pension contributions etc.

Yes, childcare fees may be more than you earn during the holidays but they aren't a constant cost if you are working year round and your children are in school. Plus you can use tax free childcare. We work out how much holiday club, after school club etc costs us for a year, divide it by 12 and save that into the tax free childcare account year round so when the expensive months come (e.g. now in the summer holidays) we have it covered. Plus DH and I both take annual leave to cover it.

If you don't want to do this then the other obvious answer is some sort of evening work when your DH is home. Even a couple of evening shifts in a supermarket would help with some extra cash.

What's your educational background? In your position I'd look for remote admin jobs via agencies and online. You could do temp positions as well as permanent contracts & mix it up as & when demand is there.

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/administrator-jobs-in-home-based

The 1st 2 roles are basic admin assistant jobs so I'd look at those & similar. The 6th job post down is advertised by TPP recruitment, contact them & explain your situation & see what remote roles they can find for you.

@SoftAsShit have you looked for online jobs from home? One of my friends does credit checking for landlords for a company called Goodlord. There are jobs out there that might fit well.

You need to work weekends or evening work Monday-Friday. There’s two of you and 24 hours in a day. Whilst one of you works the other has the children. People work and have kids all the time. Trying it solo.

Try to simplify the situation, DH works full time, you work part time, term time in a school so currently need no childcare. You would like to bring some more cash in but can’t get more than ten hours a week. You need a source of income which doesn’t lead to some of that income goes on childcare.
Stick with the job just now, keep an eye out for other school based jobs. Take advantage of any training opportunities, first aid etc etc as they add to employability. If you are paid only in term time not every month then see if you are entitled to any uc to take account of fluctuations in income. If you are not using up your tax allowance can you transfer any to your husband?
Maybe think outside the box regarding other work, what can you do at home, ideally at a time to suit you? Ironing? Virtual PA?

There are other hospitality jobs that don't involve serving people as a waitress. Have you considered:

• Hotel housekeeping, nearly always school hours or weekends, could do this on days you don't work at the school.
• Hotel reception - particularly night receptionist as these hours would be entirely whilst your husband is at work. Or evening if night is too much.
• Potwashing in a hotel/restaurant/pub. This job kicks in after the first busy rush so it's entirely feasible to work say 7-midnight.
• Glasswashing for a bar (or restaurant bar).
• Entry level kitchen work such as fry chef/KP.

Zero hour contracts get a really bad rep, but they can be a godsend for some people. It means that for times when you don't have annual leave you can say you won't be available from x - y and just have the time off unpaid. Zero hours is very common in hospitality.

I also noticed no one else has mentioned unpaid parental leave on here? You can take max 4 weeks per year, up to a total of 18 weeks per child under 18 and every parent who has custody of their child is entitled.

Obviously it is unpaid, but you wouldn't be earning anyway if you don't have a job! I'm always amazed more people don't use it. That's 4/6 weeks of the summer holidays sorted, then use AL for some of the others, and then just work zero hours on weeks you don't have AL or unpaid leave.

This really could be a viable solution for you.