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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

238 replies

SoftAsShit · 07/08/2025 13:32

I left my WFH job last year due to stress of childcare and I now work 10 hours a week around school times so it works well.. but I’m A) bored when I’m not working and B) money is so tight I’m unhappy and I just want to work more.

My current job doesn’t have the opportunity to work any more hours and I have no formal qualifications (except dental nursing but I would never go back into that job)

The thing is, I live in a remote area, salaries are low, jobs are sparse and I suffer with chronic anxiety so I’m a little bit picky (wouldn’t be able to do bar work/waitressing) ideally I’d like a desk job, don’t mind working with the public I just don’t want to be serving.. don’t ask why, it’s just a me thing.

and I absolutely cannot afford childcare during holidays. I could barely afford it when I was WFH and had to have them home some of the by time but the stress was too much and I ended up having a bit of a breakdown.
So I just don’t know how I can get back into work, to earn more money for the family.. whatever job I take up will mean having to arrange childcare before/after school and during holidays. I just can’t afford it.

How do people do it 😞

For reference, we aren’t entitled to any benefits, have a mortgage and some small debts that are being managed.

OP posts:
sciaticafanatica · 07/08/2025 19:13

I worked nights when mine was younger.
i went at 10ams was back at 6 so still did breakfast and school runs, then went to bed and then did pick up and tea

Ablondiebutagoody · 07/08/2025 19:09

SoftAsShit · 07/08/2025 18:18

Yes I could but I can’t find a job with 20 hours that’s term time only. My current job is term time only and they don’t have anything else to increase my hours.

Show quote history

No, I mean that you could work those hours all year. 4 hours per day would easily fit around school. School holidays you and partner take annual leave plus maybe a week of holiday clubs.

Original poster
SoftAsShit · 07/08/2025 18:18

Ablondiebutagoody · 07/08/2025 14:44

Surely you can at least double your hours and still not have to worry about term time child care? Holidays you divvy up between you and your partner.

Yes I could but I can’t find a job with 20 hours that’s term time only. My current job is term time only and they don’t have anything else to increase my hours.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 07/08/2025 14:44

Surely you can at least double your hours and still not have to worry about term time child care? Holidays you divvy up between you and your partner.

minsmum · 07/08/2025 14:39

Have you thought about child minding or setting up a holiday club. You won't be the only person in that position

MoggetsCollar · 07/08/2025 14:39

Could you be a child minder? Or offer wrap around care with a drop off and pick up from your DC's school and also keep your 10hrs school hours work?

Redhairandhottubs · 07/08/2025 14:35

Also, and I say this with kindness, use some of the downtime you have when you’re bored to work on yourself. I know it’s really hard but being overcome your anxiety will make such a difference to your life. Have you looked at courses you could do online to get some qualifications and improve your chances of finding work in the future?

Redhairandhottubs · 07/08/2025 14:31

You could look for a teaching assistant or admin job in a school, but I imagine these are few and far between if you live rurally. Would you consider moving to a town closer to where your husband works? That might give you more flexibility and more options. Also easier when DC are older.

Original poster
SoftAsShit · 07/08/2025 14:26

Mrsttcno1 · 07/08/2025 14:16

What hours does he work? You need to split drop offs & pick ups between you, he can apply for flexible working if needed to make that doable. Presumably he gets annual leave which can help cover school holidays, you could also use your annual leave, there are holiday clubs etc which tax free childcare can be used towards, speak to any family/friends to help out. You need to sit down between you and figure out what works basically for you, it’s not easy but it’s not easy for anyone.

He works quite a distance from where we live because we’re so rural, so he’s already maxxed out on working hours, he need to leave by 7am every day to get to work for 8, then he finishes at 5:30, home for 6:30ish. His hours just can’t cover pick ups and drop offs and we can’t afford to lose out reducing his hours to help.

When I was WFH we did share holidays with AL but it wasn’t enough. We’ve tried to make it work but I end up burning the candle from both ends and then my mental health takes a tumble.

OP posts:
wizzywig · 07/08/2025 14:17

I'm stumped too op. There's no flexibility in your current set up until the kids are older

Mrsttcno1 · 07/08/2025 14:16

What hours does he work? You need to split drop offs & pick ups between you, he can apply for flexible working if needed to make that doable. Presumably he gets annual leave which can help cover school holidays, you could also use your annual leave, there are holiday clubs etc which tax free childcare can be used towards, speak to any family/friends to help out. You need to sit down between you and figure out what works basically for you, it’s not easy but it’s not easy for anyone.

Original poster
SoftAsShit · 07/08/2025 14:11

Yes I have a husband, his wages pay all of the bills, then mine cover childcare and food pretty much. We have nothing left over between us.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 07/08/2025 13:41

You say “I” can’t afford it, but do you have a partner OP?

It’s not just on you to arrange cover for holidays or pay for it, there should be two of you working at that.

The way other people do it is by either arranging with dad to cover before/after school & holidays, or paying for it. Remember (age dependent) you can use tax free childcare towards those things which brings the cost down a bit.

Have a look at local council or civil service jobs, they tend to have flexi which would be useful for you fitting around drop off times etc.