To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

Cleaning holiday cottages / caravans - Saturday is often change over day so a day a lot of companies need people, I’m guessing DH could look after the kids then? Evening / night time/ weekend work - home carer, care home worker, supermarket, hospital care worker, kitchen staff in pub / restaurant/ hospital / care home etc? You basically need to work opposite shifts to your DH for the sake of childcare. Not easy but a necessity for many people.

You can offer childminding services, retrain as a SNA assistant, a home help carer can choose the hours too, or a cleaner.

Do an online evening course while you are working in school hour roles. You'll have a better chance of a decent job in the future.

Not sure if she is in england or not but it make sense to work more

Honestly sometimes I think it's down to luck to find something that works.

I do a variation of a job that I did before kids. I left after maternity leave but then was contacted out of the blue to if I wanted to return. I just do admin that isn't time sensitive so I could choose my working hours and work from home. I work school hours three days a week all year round so just have to find holiday childcare. However I am on a southern wage as thats where I lived at the time but live up north now. To take on the same role full time up here would be less than my full time equivalent of the pro rata salary I'm in now (I.e 25k compared to 32k). Then throw in wrap around childcare, increased pension, commuting costs and student loan which then makes my monthly take home be less than at present whilst working full time hours. I want to return to full time work, my current role isn't hugely challenging but it serves a purpose. I have just committed to some exciting voluntary work during term time and have said I'll do it for two years until my son ages out of it, this gets me out of the being bored mind rut. I will return full time somewhere after the next two years and take the reduction in wages until I can progress to a more senior role. It'll be tough in the short term but I think I've got this alongside my husbands support financially and picking up extra responsibilities with the children that I currently cover being part time.

She has to work 16 hours or earn over a certain amount to qualify unless she isn't in England.

Don’t disagree - I think the system though has enabled it look how many on mumsnet think it’s normal to work as little as possible and get top ups even with older children or no disabilities in the equation

Well, it’s just downright insulting to working parents and just tax payers in general. Absolutely laughable that our taxes are going towards some people who cannot be bothered to get off their backsides and provide for their children. That goes towards men who don’t contribute to their children as well.

@PeonyPatch I wouldn’t just blame Rachael reeves - I have a big issue with those getting decent amounts of regular maintenance and yet still getting full benefits with no deductions ( and I’m not a Tory or right wing) someone I know is getting around £900 a month ( 2 kids) but still gets virtually all her rent paid and around £1400 in cash too . No wonder she works so few hours. - and that was brought in by the Tory’s , because they couldn’t be arsed to staff or make sure the CSA was run properly . I feel it’s very unfair on single parents working full time or even a lot of part time who don’t get maintenance and can claim very little either in many cases .

It also really irks me when parents are putting themselves in this situation willingly, because not only do they lose out, but so do the kids.

These threads are always the same. The OP doesn’t want to work and spends pages trying to convince strangers that she ‘can’t’ work rather than ‘won’t’ work.

Yep. It reminds me of the thread a few months ago where OP and her husband were both only working part-time and OP was moaning she couldn’t afford basics for her kids. Any suggestions about then increasing their hours or finding new jobs were met with a huge list of excuses about why that wasn’t possible 🙄

I agree. The OP has found numerous reasons why she cannot work, yet is in a privileged position where actually, she doesn’t really need to anyway.

OP, if you were really determined to work, you’d consider relocation, getting therapy or settling for a job you don’t want to do. Do you think most of us want to work or have to go to the jobs that we do? No. But we do. And we find ways to get through it. That in fact, is life.

These threads are always the same. The OP doesn’t want to work and spends pages trying to convince strangers that she ‘can’t’ work rather than ‘won’t’ work.

Nevermind, though as Rachel Reeves will be announcing in October why as a full time working stressed parent, I need to handover even more of my money to give to people like OP as she’s ‘left behind’ or some such.

Oh give over. Fucking hell, I know MNetters hate husbands but not every husband is financially abusing their wives. You can't just pull that out of thin air with absolutely no reason and no evidence.

Yes I know it’s not fair to compare, but OP is so much luckier than the many many single mums out there.

My father died when I was two and my mum was 8 months pregnant with my brother. He died leaving A LOT of debt as he just tried starting up a business. My mum had no support at all, this was in the 80’s so mental health issues like anxiety were not really recognised or supported in my country (and state benefits were not a thing). She had to work to keep a roof over our heads, make sure we were fed while she sometimes went without. Looking back as an adult I’m in awe at her strength. She was definitely depressed and overwhelmed. A few years ago we were having quite an emotional talk, she admitted at times she didn’t want to keep going, didn't know how she she did it, but she knew she had to for us.

Yeah not my experience at all so

Loads of great suggestions for the op here but nall being knocked back. Reels of 'i want more money but I'm not prepared to work for it or change any of my life to accommodate it.' It's really insulting to all the parents who do make the sacrifices to provide for their families.

Seriously OP I do hope this thread gives you some ideas - and if none really work because of where you live, I do think you might have to think again about location - especially if you aren’t even benefitting from family child care help -

OP, I’m guessing that you don’t actually want to work and this post is a means for you to say “I’m spending soooo much time trying to find a way to earn more”.

Plenty of perfectly good suggestions here, and you have an excuse to opt out of every single one of them.

So many people have suggested so many ideas here !!

BUT OP is NOT receptive -

note that OP gives a reason why NONE of the suggestions are suitable - NONE !!

OP says she wants more money but is saying she cannot take on anything because she is waiting for therapy for anxiety and the last time she tried to push out of her comfort zone she was suicidal-

OP is stuck in a rut and not seeking work

How about working in a school kitchen @SoftAsShit ? It’s term time only, can be as much as 30 hours a week and every holiday off, the perfect job to work around children. Generally you don’t need any qualifications, you can train while working and reliability is more important.

Honestly OP if you are so limited in work due to your anxiety I’d probably look at applying for disability benefits. I appreciate that is no easy task but if successful it may give you the support needed while you work on your mental health with your GP/therpist’s help.

Oh and OP, my mental health has been terrible over the past decade.

As a little encouragement for you, here's my tale of woe - a decade ago, I had a very bad concussion, post concussion syndrome, then a terrible mental breakdown. I was given lots of psychotropic drugs to help me, but one was an off label antipsychotic that harmed me and I had an adverse reaction to its side effects, then ended up with a permanent neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia. This is a bit like Tourette's and Parkinson's disease combined.

I've lived with this horrible condition for a decade and it's been hell at times, and pretty devastating. I got through a lot of tough times, watched my DB die from bowel cancer, and genuinely felt terrible at times but needed to keep going for my children.

I never gave up, and am now back at work in spite of having yet another recent concussion which was pretty awful, but not as severe as the first. My writing skills have been affected by my head injuries but I'm here now, giving you hope, saying if I can get through all that crap, you can be ok too. Believe in yourself. Things are going to be hard but you will be fine.

This isn’t a very helpful post from me - but as a single mum I just had to suck it up. Yes I had days when I was sick with worry about the work decisions I had to make or sad I had to leave my DD who was a baby when I went back. But I had no choice so I just put one foot in front of the other and got on with it.
often feels better once you do just do it.

Funnily enough, i do have one of these pie in the sky jobs, working from home freelance as a news editor, in school hours, and I can walk mt two youngest to school 5 minutes away.

And I was offered my job two weeks after I put open to work on LinkedIn after I was starting back in September last year, and a former boss offered me the job.

Yep. That's pretty jammy. It's not a stealth boast at all, I know that I am EXTREMELY lucky and very aware of just how much I have a rare job that ticks lots of boxes!

Just asked Google to find me a remote working flexible hours job and this popped up... dont know anything about them tbh. remoticoz.online/#about

Also look at Amazon or BT. There def are jobs but they are sought after. Good luck @SoftAsShit