To book holiday without friend

I’m a nurse too. Don’t forget we also don’t have ‘successful’ careers as we don’t earn the amount the OP does.

Clearly my diploma, degree and MSc means I’m not at all successful because I earn around the same amount as her friend.

You sound vile OP!

Well said!
OP and her rich mates, sound ghastly.

You missed out “hobbyist”. You know like all
those teachers, nurses, fireman, policemen, pharmacists, junior accountants, government lawyers etc

You sound stuck up.
I am a teacher who works my arse off for less than 50k.

Peopel withh successful careers either have to to mix only with other "successful" people or adapt their behviour/spending to suit the means of the lower paid in the group.

There is one couple in our friendship group who are much better off than the rest of us. They have holidays the rest of us could only dream of when they go alone, with us we all stay in cheap AirBnBs.

They keep coming back so I guess they still enjoy themselves. They're also really generous buying drinks etc when we're all away. No one expects it, but it's lovely that they want to share their success rather than seeing it as being penalised for their success.

How would you feel if you were in her shoes ?? To not tell her is a shit thing to do to a 'friend' Surely there's more than 2 hotels to wherever it is you wish to grace with your presence, find somewhere you are all happy with and can afford. That's what friends do.

I could quite happily live on £50k for the rest of my fucking life!

Who needs enemies, with friends like you? You sound snobby and horrid.
“Hope she doesn’t find out” Wow, just wow!

From what I can work out, every one in this scenario has plenty of disposable income (and is what many would call rich), but one person has slightly less disposable income than the others...

I suppose the thread does at least demonstrate that money doesn't buy you friends.

How you sound such a lovely bunch of friends !!!!!

@TarzanGirl do you think teachers, NHS workers, anyone that earns 45k or less do hobby jobs?

Definitely isn’t at the expense of income. She’s earning a great wage.

Love to know what your barometer for a 'successful' career is?

100k+ - successful?
90k or under - unsuccessful pleb?

Oh, so the £40-£50K is pin money?

at the expense of salary.

As others have said, she earns well above average. There are people who support families on less. Honestly your attitude to her job is terrible. It’s patronising and out of touch.

Plus lots of people who are in niche careers end up really successful over time.

OP, you are getting a hard time here. I totally get what you mean by a “hobby” job and sympathize with your dilemma. In my own peer set, we all started more or less at the same level - analysts at investment banks, lawyers at “magic circle”, consultants at MBB, graduate schemes at the likes of Diagei/Shell/P&G etc. Then some started to change trajectory for different reasons - motherhood, lifestyle, purpose etc either quitting work, going part-time or switching to a “hobby” job, eg retraining as therapists/coaches/yoga instructors, or switching gears like going from senior associate at Clifford Chance to an in-house lawyer at a charity. Add to this some of them becoming a single income household to top it off. It created a degree of income disparity. Subsiding is not a solution - breeds entitlement and resentment. But we’d gift an expensive trip away for a landmark birthday for example. Neither you can always settle down for the lowest common denominator. Similarly, you can’t always go for 5 star hotels and Michelin meals. Our solution is to alternate - expensive and moderate and if some can’t join so be it. What you can’t do is conceal your trip - that’s a killer. She needs to be allowed a choice. You have already compromised before so it’s not one sided.

Hmm would I rather have a hobby job that pays me £50k or be successful? Decisions decisions.

But if she doesn't come with you then who becomes the pauper of the group?

Hobby jobs do not pay 50k. If that’s the case your friend has done very well for herself. You sound awfully materialistic. If you were true friends you wouldn’t consider leaving her out and compromise. If you are such high earners I expect you have multiple holidays and can down grade slightly for one of those. Surely having good friends is better than a five star stay.

Seriously I would much rather have the company of a loved friend than a concierge! Is luxury really so important to you? Some of the best/ nicest hotels I have stayed in have been really affordable and I’d much rather stay in a small local place than a marble encrusted chain I bet you’re going to Dubai. Can you really not compromise if you do a bit of research.

Plus this is only your “breather” holiday after all 🙄

But as to your question yes of course you must tell her.

Fuck me I need to quit my job for a hobby job on just £50k

I need to find a ‘hobby’ job that pays £50k ! What am I doing with my life , if they exist 😱🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

OP you don’t come out if this well and sound quite patronising and dismissive of your friend.

Personally, if the fourth person was a genuine friend I would simply say we have found a deal on this hotel it costs such and such and this is where we really want to go. You can then decide if you are such high earners whether you tell your friend the true actual amount and leave it to her to decline or try to get you all to choose another hotel or whether because you are all such high earners and appreciate and value your friends company that you each contribute X amount (without saying anything) to make it affordable for your friend to go.

https://media1.tenor.com/m/_LPNJbJ1JVMAAAAd/harry-enfield-considerably-richer-than-you.gif

You sound like horrible friends. I cant believe there are people like you in this world that look down on the rest of us 'peasants' with our measly hobby job salaries. Do her a favour and let her find some decent friends that arent so stuck up their own arse.
My 13 year old has better morals than you!