To book holiday without friend

Am very confused.

'hobby' because she has a rich husband or a trust fund?

If she is single and has no children, £40-50K seems a relatively large salary.

Is it just that she has different priorities? If so, just be honest about what you want from your holiday.

It depends on whether the luxuriousness of the hotel is more important to you than the company of your friend.

If I were her I would find better friends.

You did her choice last time, so it's fair to do someone else's choice this time. So it's fair to say that you're planning to go to X this time and invite her. It's not fair to try to be secretive about it. She should realise that it's fair for her to get her way last time, and to simply opt out this time if it's too expensive for her, or just not a destination she wants to go to.

You sound absolutely hideous. 'Hobby job'. 'Penalised for having successful careers'. So you don't think your friend, who earns an above average salary in a job she's passionate about, is as successful as you three? Sounds to me like she's hit the jackpot in life - except for her choice of friends. TBH if this ends the friendship she'll be better off, by the sounds of it.

With friends like you I would rather be friendless. What a horrible snooty person you come across as.

I know christ, I wish I earned "only" 50k! 😂.

I agree with the others, you sound like awful friends. Hopefully she'll find less stuck up, patronising ones to go on holiday with.

You can go wherever you want on holiday. I would invite her and if she asks to stay cheaper just say ‘we really want this one’ and maybe next time do something a bit cheaper. Maybe she’ll just have to come with you every other year if it’s out of her budget to give her longer to save.

Some of your words are unfortunate ‘hobby job’ is only going to wind people up when attached to what most people consider a decent salary. However, the sentiment is the same in that you should be able to go wherever you like without worrying about someone else’s costs. That’s for her to work out, not you. You might lose her as a friend so you have to be okay with that.

I'm on about 26k a year, what must you think of my salary 😂you and your friends sound awful!

Probably shouldn't have used the word 'only' when referring to a salary of £50K, either. Do you seriously not realise how astonishingly out of touch with reality that makes you sound?

Why don't you go to the same place and your friend can book a cheaper hotel to stay in for herself. Booking without her is not good.

I’d invite her as it’s horrible to feel excluded.

Firstly, if I was the lower earner I would have the common sense to know I wouldn't be able to keep up or go on every trip.

Secondly, I would actually hope that my friends valued their time with me more than going to a luxurious hotel that they could go to on any of their other trips abroad.

But most importantly, I would absolutely not be friends who people who were planning a 'secret holiday' without me. So do what you want, but you have to tell her.

You tell her where you’re going and ask if she wants to join. If she says she’d like to stay somewhere alternative you tell her that you’re really basing the trip around the hotel and it’s something all three of you feel strongly about.
Let her know that she has plenty of time to save up for it or she can skip the trip.

I would hide or lie. Just be honest that it’s the hotel you want to stay at and you’re not willing to change it.

It’s fine to want to go to a luxury hotel. Just be honest and breezy about it. She may well make it work. If not then maybe plan something more budget friendly to do with her next year

Bloody hell. I thought I was doing pretty well with a £47k PA job…I feel poor now 😢

Oh, and you sound mean.

Only earns 50k. Wow! I've never earned close to 50k in my entire life.

If you are all high earners, is it possible to divide the extra cost for your friend between the 3 of you?

Oh, life is so hard!

She needs to find new friends, you sound insufferable.

Give her the choice. She's on £50k, not peanuts. If you want to spend £10k on a holiday and she doesn't then she'll bow out. I do think you need to stop the teenage chittering behind each others' backs though, that's going to quickly destroy friendships.

I hope for society that this is not real. Initially is, and people like you really exist, then your friend has been wasting her time and energy being friend with you. You don't deserve her friendship. She'll find much better friends who understand and respect the values of friendships.

Just tell her that you are set on a particular hotel and give her the option to come or not. Being secretive will ruin the friendship.

Maybe I'm odd but I'd put spending time with my friend above staying somewhere luxurious -

That's the normal thing to do. I go away with friends every year, all different incomes.

So you've already had multiple trips, where presumably you got to chose the accomodation and this trip is specifically for this group.

You choose, is the accomodation or the friendship most important? And tell

Include her, don't be mean. Just because you're earning more doesn't give you a high staus to look down on her which does come across like this in your post.

Give her enough advanced notice to save up to stay there as a treat. Alternatively, does she have a birthday coming up, why don't you other 3 pay the difference? Don't be arseholes about a friend who earns less.