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Original poster

To book holiday without friend

391 replies

TarzanGirl · 07/08/2025 09:54

Have a bit of a dilemma here and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not…

Group of 4 friends. 3 of us are what you would call ‘high earners’ whilst our 4th friend works a more ‘hobby’ job for want of a better term and only earns about £45/50k a year.

Last year, we’d all agreed on a city break destination but the proposed hotel was vetoed by our friend due to being too costly, so we went to an alternative (which wasn’t great) at her request.

We are looking at going away again later this year. Early discussions between two of us (not the 4th friend). We really want to stay somewhere more luxurious but know our friend won’t be able to afford it.

Out of the options below, what do you think is most appropriate? We give our friend the option of joining, knowing full well she can’t stay there and when she suggests an alternative, say no. Or book without her knowledge and hope she doesn’t find out about it? We don’t really post on social media so that’s not an issue.

OP posts:
ThisJollyLime · 07/08/2025 10:53

Wow I want a "hobby job" that pays that much! I'd be over the moon to earn that kind of money. Where do people work/Do to earn than kind of money.
I would definitely give her the option as she is bound to find out anyway

SecretNameAsImShy · 07/08/2025 10:53

TarzanGirl · 07/08/2025 10:04

Not at all, the hotel reviews from around the time we went back up our experience too.

Beige food, loud building work on site, no concierge service to name a few issues.

Show quote history

Oh no, no concierge! How did you cope? Get a grip OP. Don't be mean, if you other three are such high earners, then surely you can all chip in a bit so that your friend can come.

CrispySquid · 07/08/2025 10:53

You are so snobbity

jumpingthehighjump · 07/08/2025 10:53

There are certain things I like or need in a hotel.

Clean room, clean bedding
En suite
Not noisy

A concierge is not something I need or want and I have stayed in hotels all over the world from 2 star to 5 star
I am quite capable of making my own arrangements and don't need a Concierge to do anything for me!

Hobby job at £50K has had me 🤣🤣🤣

limescale · 07/08/2025 10:51

only earns about £45/50k a year.

I wouldn't want to spend any time with people (supposedly friends) who looked down on me for not earning as much as them.

Gemmawemma9 · 07/08/2025 10:51

MagnificentBastard · 07/08/2025 10:51

I suspect this is just rage bait, and look, it’s worked!

I’ve reported it, apparently all looks above board.

MagnificentBastard · 07/08/2025 10:51

I suspect this is just rage bait, and look, it’s worked!

Gemmawemma9 · 07/08/2025 10:50

Khanga27 · 07/08/2025 10:48

How much time realistically do you spend in a hotel when abroad?? As long as it has good reviews, clean and reasonable facilities does it matter if it’s luxurious when you’re travelling abroad to explore where you are and absorb the culture?

Think your “friend” needs to assess her friendships, if this is how you refer to her: you sound stuck up and like you think you are above her.

Come on, it didn’t have a concierge though! The poor OP had to carry her designer suitcases all by herself, poor lamb.

Havana3 · 07/08/2025 10:50

You sound awful.
‘penalised for being successful’ ‘only £45-50k’
‘no concierge’ 😡
You may have money but you are a snob and have no class.

Handbagcuriosity · 07/08/2025 10:49

Gonna post a Biffy Clyro lyric here
”with friends as good as you, who needs enemies” 😂

Khanga27 · 07/08/2025 10:48

How much time realistically do you spend in a hotel when abroad?? As long as it has good reviews, clean and reasonable facilities does it matter if it’s luxurious when you’re travelling abroad to explore where you are and absorb the culture?

Think your “friend” needs to assess her friendships, if this is how you refer to her: you sound stuck up and like you think you are above her.

LadyMayhap · 07/08/2025 10:47

I think your friend will be gutted but it’s probably a good thing for her to discover that you value the material things in life over the friendship so that she can diversify her friendship group.

Crikeyalmighty · 07/08/2025 10:47

@TarzanGirl no concierge!! First world problems eh ! We aren’t go to really nice top end hotels and your attitude isn’t that of a friend or very nice. If you are that well off - just pay the difference or at least be upfront with her so she knows where she stands , it seems posing comes first over friendship

Painrelief · 07/08/2025 10:45

BerryTwister · 07/08/2025 10:23

Who needs friends when you can have a concierge!!
Obviously go on the fancy holiday OP, leave your peasant friend behind, on her tiny salary (which, incidentally, is what I earn as a doctor. Never realised I was in a low paid hobby job!)

Your job is a hobby !!! You’re a fantasist if you think you’re helping people , now go and get a REAL job and stop playing doctors and nurses 😂

Sunnyweatherfriend · 07/08/2025 10:43

You don’t necessarily have a “successful career”, just one that pays really well. Success isn’t all about money. This implies people (including your “friend” and many on here) who earn less than £50k aren’t successful! What an insufferable snob you are.

OakAshRowan · 07/08/2025 10:43

BerryTwister · 07/08/2025 10:23

Who needs friends when you can have a concierge!!
Obviously go on the fancy holiday OP, leave your peasant friend behind, on her tiny salary (which, incidentally, is what I earn as a doctor. Never realised I was in a low paid hobby job!)

I think you're ok because doctors have potential to earn more whereas this friend doesn't. Maybe OP can clarify...

MagnificentBastard · 07/08/2025 10:43

You need to give her the option of joining you, she can decline if she wants.

ThatCyanCat · 07/08/2025 10:42

TarzanGirl · 07/08/2025 10:05

I don’t think covering some of the costs will work - it will set a precedent for future trips, and it feels a bit like we are being penalised for having successful careers.

Show quote history

That's how you view it? A penalty?

Clearly you aren't her friends so do what you like, she won't have lost anything.

Anabla · 07/08/2025 10:42

Am absolutely howling at the "no concierge" comment.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm quite happy to wheel my own suitcase if it means getting to spend time with my friends.

OakAshRowan · 07/08/2025 10:41

I'd value friendship over a concierge. Maybe just show her this thread, OP. Then she'll realise you are not a friend to her and won't want to come away with you anyway.

HUNNYPARENT · 07/08/2025 10:41

How much do you value friendship, that the only friends you keep have to be within a specific tax bracket? Make sure to interview your friends better next time to make sure they are also elitists who only care about luxury and capitalism.

If y'all make so much more than her. Pay her difference. Uugh. Clearly your priorities are out of whack.

Tigergirl80 · 07/08/2025 10:41

That’s quite nasty to do that behind her back. It’s the 3 of you who want to go there and can afford to. As pp said the 3 of you could club together so she can go.

PringlesTube · 07/08/2025 10:40

Jesus 50k hobby job. We are working our absolute arses off and don’t earn that much.

Bonniebonnie · 07/08/2025 10:40

Christ, ‘only 45-50k’ 🙄 So approximately 80 percent of the UK that earn less than that have ‘niche’ or ‘hobby’ jobs, do they?

You sound utterly clueless, and as another poster pointed out, I’d be really upset if my friends secretly booked a holiday without me because I couldn’t afford it.

If you and your other mates are so highly earning, why not offer to pay for a chunk of it so she can be with you? She’ll be very aware that her (perfectly decent) salary seems like peanuts to you, so why don’t you prove her company is the most important thing here? I did this once - a friend couldn’t afford a group abroad holiday for my birthday so I just paid for her flight and hotel and said ‘just buy me some drinks while we’re there and let’s never think about it again.’ Simply put, I had the money at the time, she didn’t. Most important thing was that she was there - it’s possible to do this gracefully without anyone feeling embarrassed or ‘owed’.

Livpool · 07/08/2025 10:40

You sound like a pretentious snob: I have stayed in 5 star luxury hotels and didn’t even use the concierge so I must be a heathen!

A lot of people earn a lot less than £45/£50k. Go without her and let her make some nice friends

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