To book holiday without friend

I go away every year with a friend and I earn more than her, however less than your friends hobby job, i always choose a hotel with her that I know is in her budget. I want to spend time with her not in luxury. I have another friend who way out earns me and she always picks a hotel or activity within my budget. Just imagine if your circumstances change and you are excluded for the reasons you have given.

Frankly I am amazed that anyone thick enough not to be able to think of an alternative to ‘hobby’ gets paid a high earner salary.

Just goes to show.

Reminds me of a line from character Arthur Daly the old Minder series; “you can tell what God thinks if money, look at the people he gives it to!”

You didn’t need to “find a term” you could’ve just said “her job” or explained it by saying your friend earns less than the rest of you.

a more ‘hobby’ job for want of a better term and only earns about £45/50k a year

What the fuck is a hobby job?
Sorry, but that's awful and you sound like a snob.

There's no reason why you can't find a decent hotel which she can afford. The alternative didn't work out last time but there are plenty of decent hotels that us "hobby job" people can afford, you all just need to do more research to find one.

I think you just want to ditch her anyway because she's a "low" earner.

£45-£50 is a very decent wage, but it’s obviously is a lot less than you earn and you sound put out by the fact that your friend can’t afford to keep up with your spending habits.
You sound incredibly snobby and obviously put spending power at the top of your agenda. Your post makes you come across as spiteful and not very nice.
I would advise your friend to find new friends.

don't know if already been suggested but she could stay at a different hotel in same location , we have done that before on group trips. That might work if other things (restaurants, outings ) were affordable, but could be it is total costs not just hotel that are ££££

Help her out, don't exclude her.

I can’t imagine even considering just going and not telling her. What kind of friend does that?

Just pick where you want to go and if she can make her money stretch and come, fab, if not, she doesn’t come but at least she got that choice.

Last year my boyfriend and I were saving like crazy for a house and my friends knew I was on a tight budget for a while. A girls trip away was organised and of course I was included in the planning and given the option to go. I declined as it was out of budget and I felt sad to miss out but my god if I’d ever found out they just went without even inviting me it would’ve broken my heart.

Fucking hell: I had a job that paid £50k at the height of/ end of my career, a sector hugely competitive to get into etc. (arts)

Try ‘vocational’ .

I would have told you to stuff yourselves had you described by job as a ‘hobby job’.

It is reasonable to holiday as you choose in expensive locations but your patronising, condescending attitude to someone earning £50k , a decent salary, is sickening.

’Only’ 50k for a hobby job? I work well over full time hours, get paid for 4 days, and dream of 50K. All those ‘hobby’ nurses/ cleaners/ nursery workers must be thrilled to read that low-paid jobs are just pretend.

Anyway, as to your dilemma- you can tell your friend what you’ve settled on and say that she’s welcome to join you, and it’s then up to her whether she can afford it.

WHY did Mn take away the laughing emoji! This one is my level of sarcasm!

Beat me to it

You could have just described it as a job? But I guess that wouldn't drive home the point that you're a high earner and she isn't.

As a fellow high earner, I hope to God someone smacks me in the face if I ever have a tenth of your attitude towards my 'poor' friends 🙄

This cannot be real surely? I don’t have time
to comment much more as I need to get back to my niche hobby job that only pays a measly £48K. I feel lucky to earn that, actually.

Also just coming back to express disgust at your point about ‘offering to cover costs feels like we are being penalised for having successful careers’.

So teachers, a lot of doctors, journalists, senior charity workers, junior criminal barristers, literary agents, tv producers…all of whom are in very, very competitive fields and would be earning around 50k - aren’t successful?!

You are pretty dim to equate very high income levels with success. Might be the case for some, but pretty much all the people I know who earn 1 percent levels (think 180k plus) work in finance, accounting or corporate law. They are pretty much all burnt out and miserable, with shitty marriages and zero social lives. It’s not really what success looks like to me!

I think option a is fine. It’s perfectly acceptable to want to spend your money staying in a hotel you want, give her the option and if she asks for a different hotel just decline and say you’ll organise something with her another time but you’re set on this one. Awkward if you’ve been going away as a 4 for years but even then people’s circumstances change and I don’t agree it’s being a bad friend. I have close friends that earn less than me (or who just prefer different styles of travel) and I wouldn’t holiday with them or change my plans to suit their budget, and similarly I have friends far richer than me who have invited me/our family to join crazy expensive (for me) holidays that I can’t afford, I just say no and I’m not offended whatsoever. There are also friends I holidayed with pre kids that still don’t have kids and still go on the types of holiday I used to but can no longer justify, I might join once every few years, they are not offended when I can’t, I’m not offended that they don’t pick a different holiday that would suit me better.

You're a high earner but cannot think of a better term than "hobby job" for something paying £45-50k?

misses the point

Can I also suggest @TarzanGirl reads the long running MLM thread on here . There is nothing as naff as going on constantly about how well off you are and taking the appropriate pics - all these people end up with is incredibly shallow ‘friendships’ that disappear in a puff of smoke if your ‘success’ goes out the window

Definitely don't do it behind her back it won't end well. Be honest with her, and say you want somewhere more luxurious this time, it may give her the chance to save up if it's later in the year.

Ignoring the obvious comment about the hobby job and only earning 50k, which has been totally popped in there to get the thread going because surprise surprise this is TarzanGirl's first post on MN and probably none of this is true and it has all the hallmarks of one of those fake dilemmas that it's someone's job to make up and post

Just say 'Jane and I have decided to go HERE. Not anywhere else, but exactly here. Alison wants to come too. Do you fancy it?'

Don't even make it something to negotiate over. If she wants to come she's welcome. If it's not to her liking for ANY reason, including budget, she can skip.

I travel a lot with my friends. We agree up front on our budget and would never dream of leaving someone out just to have a "better" room.

I know the OP sounds insufferable and really rather ghastly

How much do you imagine the concierge, who you deem so important, gets paid?

Surprised you can lower yourself to ask the opinion of us who have “hobby” jobs.
Your friend would be better off without you bitchy lot.

Life is too short to go on holiday to hotels you don't like.

Give her the option to come or not but tell her that the hotel has been decided.