Surprise girlfriend

Karma is a bitch and frankly this other woman sounds like she deserves everything that has come to her. Anyone that goes after a married man deserves all she gets imo

Text back saying exactly that, he never mentioned a GF, as far as you were concerned he was single, and that you have not seen him since and have no intention of doing so. Then block her.

Well done in having an honest, open chat with her.

Block. Delete. Live your life.

Really good outcome, despite it being a horrible situation. Sounds very similar to what happened to me - well done for handling it so well and giving you both a bit of peace. You've really helped her to make a tough decision.

Just talk to her. You have done nothing wrong.

I'd just message her saying you're happy to talk to her but as you had no idea he had a GF then this isnt your fault so are not willing to speak to her if she's going to be abusive.

Personally I’d tell her to fuck off and say it’s not my fault your boyfriend is a cheat.

But they’re not complete strangers. OP said she’d be friends with the guy for a few months before, and there is concern over overlapping friendship groups. Better for OP to state the truth very clearly now to try to prevent all sorts of stories being made up about her. If she doesn’t tell her version of events, this man and his girlfriend will most certainly be telling their versions.

Exactly. I can't believe the reply is telling her to message xyz

This is not her fight.She's been dragged into strangers drama.

Block, delete and walk away do not engage in their drama

Just block her and him.

just Tell her you had no idea he had a GF and no wish to get involved in her drama

tbh there an element of karma for her in all this

I would message back explaining that you didn’t know he wasn’t single. I don’t think you’ve got anything to apologise for.

Then block her.

I did some digging and it turns out that he got divorced because, guess what- he cheated. With the girlfriend that phoned me.

So she was the other woman and is now, gasp, shocked that he cheated.

You have done nothing wrong OP, message her only if it will make you feel better but you don't owe them anything and in fact should be the one that's angry for being lied to and dragged into their nonsense.

If it was me id message her saying he never said anything about a girlfriend, you thought he was single and to please tell him from you hes a lying sack of shit and you hope his cock drops off.

Don’t bother. She has decided that it must be your fault, because otherwise she’d have to blame him, and she’s reluctant to do that. Stupid, but there you go.

I would message back explaining what happened. I would also say that I wanted no further contact. If she doesn't respect that then you can block

When this happened to me I actually went to meet the girlfriend as I lived in a very small town at the time and I was a bit concerned that our paths would cross at some point so I would rather preempt a nasty surprise - having already had one nasty surprise!

She was actually very nice and apologised to ME for HIS behaviour - which of course I told her she didn’t have to do. She didn’t want chapter and verse of what happened, she just wanted to know how we had come to know one another (it wasn’t a ONS random thing, I knew him through work) because in the words of Van Morrison, she wanted to get a sense of how long it had been going on. She had been planning on moving in with him so it made a difference to her as to whether it had been a drunken one-off.

But it was clearly a longer term betrayal and that helped her to make up her mind. We ended up having a couple of wines and having a good old rant about him which I think helped her. In fact to this day I think of him as ‘Wonky Willy’ - not kind or mature but he was a wanker and she and I felt he deserved a nickname in the moment…

I'd do absolutely nothing. Just act as if these people are so asinine as to be below your level of annoyance.

There is a dignity in silence that no amount of words can convey. Say nothing and block the pair of them everywhere

Block and ignore. You've done nothing wrong

I had similar a couple of years ago. Tons of furious messages from the girlfriend of a guy I slept with once and had no intention of repeating it. She was convinced I wanted a relationship with him. He was horrible and I absolutely didn't. I regret the whole thing. She'd apparently been messaging while I was at his house and thought it was some kind of victory over me but I was on my phone most of the time too and was only there to have sex. They weren't actually together but were 'on a break'.

She kept messaging for a while and I didn't block her but I probably should have. Oh god, I'm having awful flashbacks of the whole thing.

Tell her exactly what happened and that you thought he was single . Then I’d block her. Not your circus not your monkeys

If someone is determined to hide something about themselves, trying to get to know them won't necessarily make any difference in this respect.

Do you want to talk to her?

I wouldn’t do it through the grapevine, things will become unclear what your actual message is. Text or message her with everything you want to say that way even if she’s angry she can read and re read what your saying.