Why do people assume that those who potty train late are ‘lazy’ parents?

modern nappies they don't feel wet, obviously poos should be changed straight away and poo flushed! I'd have loved to potty train earlier but had a very stubborn child.

Gosh, did you leave yours sitting in wet/poo-filled nappies? I always changed mine pronto.

Given that even really young babies can notice and communicate when they need to wee or poo, it's really strange that so many 2 year olds apparently can't. My oldest 2 DC potty trained before 2 in the "normal" way and we're both dry and clean within a week. My youngest I just couldn't face dirty nappies again so used a potty from around 4 weeks (based on my grandmother's advice). Youngest was out of nappies by 18 months, and didn't do dirty nappies at all, really.

Leaving it until 3 is just cultural and definitely pushed by disposable nappy marketing. In other countries it's very common to potty train much earlier.

I think this is why you're meant to do it close to 2 because then they don't get all these hang ups, it's easier for them to grasp it because it's just the new normal. Like training a puppy I suppose, toilet training a dog is probably much harder or impossible (I assume!)

The point is it ISN'T super early. It used to be the norm. It's a current fad doing it late.

The same benefit as all the other developmental things.

Equally, we could say what is the benefit of teaching a child to read early. Or swim.

Is it? I hear lots of third hand comments like this on social media - but it's not something I have seen in my son's school. It is not something friends and family members have seen regularly (with their children, but also as primary school teachers - including a headteacher in a deprived area).

Nursery - 3 year olds absolutely. Reception, some 4 year.olds for the first half term, virtually none by Christmas break. And a couple of children with additional learning needs.

Not having to wear nappies and have poo/wee smushed up against their skin?

What's the benefit to the child of doing it super early?

My son finally let me potty train him 2 weeks before 3rd birthday! Flat out refused to sit on a potty or toilet before that. Started nursery 2 years 3 months, just as Covid restrictions lifted in 2021, I went back to work full time, first priority was getting rid of the dummy, nursery said no big changes as he settled in, said bye to dummy a month or so after nursery started...then just as he was about to turn 3 I bought the fisher price potty that sings when they pee in it... finally he was interested!

Nailed it in a couple of days, wanted rid of his nighttime pull up a week or so later, he was so ready and it wasn't stressful at all. Never been a bed wetter!

Totally believe every kid is different and to follow their lead... he wouldn't have had to language at 2 to communicate needing the toilet!

Absolutely, trained at 2 years 8 months and she got it in a day. One accident only.

Three months previously, we tried for a day because we needed to get a wee sample for the doctors, and she wasn't getting it, so rather than keep flogging a dead horse to her distress and ours, we just held off and tried again a bit later, once she'd started showing an interest in her friends at nursery coming out of nappies and into pants.

No way was I going to distress her and make a totally unnecessary rod for my own back just to people please others who might make snide comments about being lazy. I don't care what others think, if they gossip and judge that says more about them than me. You get bitchy sorts with nothing else to occupy them everywhere, but it's foolish to run your life around their bitching.

Because late potty training is a fad. 40 years ago it wasn't unusual to start working on it at 1 1/2. Now there are plenty of 3 1/2 year olds still wearing nappies.

It's all linked to the gentle parenting thing. Not that I'm saying late potty training parents are all gentle parents. But it's very much the childs agenda, rather than a societal agenda.

Most children would eat sweets rather than food, but we don't let them. A lot of children would wear nappies until they were 4 or 5 if we let them. It has to be a balance. And at times is IS lazy / weak to leave potty training because it's hard. It's hard keeping them off screens. It's hard enforcing a healthy diet. It's hard teaching them to read. Ride a bike. Swim. But we do it.

Yes, DS2 was one week past 3 when he said he wanted to wear pants now. Easiest potty training ever. No accidents, he just made the change himself. DS1 trained at 2 years 3 months but it was very clear that it was not working with DS2 at that age. It was nursery staff who told me to leave it until DS2 was older.

Ha you obviously didn't read my post that my child is just starting a neurodiversity assessment and it has been recommended to leave potty training until they have settled at the preschool. Of course it isn't entitlement. It would be discrimination. How embarrassing of you.

Agree. Kids develop at different ages.

I was absolutely bemused by friends chasing their toddlers around with potties for months on end, spending hours scrubbing rugs and carpets after daily accidents, just to meet some self imposed milestone "early"

This wasn't my experience at all.....Did both just shy of their 2nd birthdays and was not "chasing toddlers around with potties for months on end". I would say it took 2-3 weeks for accidents to largely stop. They were in childcare do you think anyone would have put up with constant accidents on the floor? There were occasional accidents but this usually mean a damp spot in knickers notcertainly not daily puddles!

I will be honest though that it required attention and organisation from me. They did need prompting and help wiping. If it had been a couple of hours since they last went, and they were absorbed in play, yes, I needed to notice it had been a couple of hours and take them to the loo whether they liked it or not. They needed sensible clothes they could get down quickly, and they did need a loo or potty reasonably close by - they couldn't hold it more than a few minutes, so i didn't expect them to wait for a 30 minute car journey to finish before going. I just had a carry potty and chose sensible activities with convenient loos etc. Pretty standard when you have a toddler.

My cousin is a school teacher, and children are starting school in nappies. 5 year olds, it's a growing epidemic.

A lot of kids start school nursery when they are only just three. I think it is a lot less usual for children in reception to need nappies/ pull ups.

When you delve into outraged articles about this, they're often talking about nursery aged children. So just turned 3 as entrance to school nursery is based on the term after their third birthday not the school year.

I didn't know there was a late time but either way twin 3 yr olds and a 4 and all were trained days by 2 and nights before 3rd birthdays.. none liked potty they had there own toilet seats and step and now just take themselves and shout when need help

We thought we'd try this with kid 2 (kid 1 we tried potty training aiming around lock downs. It took a while) recently. Just before his second birthday.

Yeah.. he is not ready. Or even that aware he is about to wee/ poo. We will try again soon, as it's easier when the weather is better - but if they are not ready there's only so much you can do.

😂 😂 😂

@gobshite23

I would kick up a right fuss if my child wasn't allowed to start because they aren't potty trained.
I think it's more attitudes like this, that piss people off. Especially now as so many kids are now starting school in nappies, which in the majority of the cases is because it's been left too late and the teachers end up training them. After a certain age, it shouldn't be people's problem (ie teachers) to deal with. 3 is ok, but the latest, it would also start to get embarrassing for the childless surely.

Eldest dd was over 3. She had one accident and that was it. I know I’m not lazy. If somebody else thinks I was that’s up to them. Part of becoming a parent is learning to ignore the judgement of others.

If people are that bothered about landfill you’d think they’d be using reusables?