Why do people assume that those who potty train late are ‘lazy’ parents?

Why would I need to tell if some random child I don't know has SEND or not?

So when your out and see a child in nappies you automatically know if they have send or not....you look at a 3 or 4 year old and can just tell?

Teach them what? I did toilet train them when they were able to say they needed to go. Took under a week each around their 3 Rd birthdays.

Or teach them to talk? If so how

I specifically said no one would think a parent was lazy if a child with disabilities was trained late.

I'd dearly love all these judgy mcjudgy pants on this thread to come and potty train my severely autistic but verbal and bright nearly 5 year old boy. Obviously the reason I've been desperately trying for the last two years, have ERIC on speed dial, and am now tearing my hair out as mainstream reception approaches is because I am 'lazy' and 'can't be bothered'.

@legoplaybook oh my goodness you are such a genius, despite knowing about my kids autism for half his life I've definitely never thought to use a visual for toileting, despite the rest of our house being covered in visuals, I'll go and sort that out right now and I'm sure the issue will be fixed within a few moments, however did I manage without you??? I'm sure a picture of a toilet will cure my sweet child's deep and abiding fear and sensory aversions to pooing on the loo. If you could sort out his trauma response to handdryers that would be helpful too.

You have to teach them, I don't really understand your point.

I'd dearly love all these judgy mcjudgy pants on this thread to come and potty train my severely autistic but verbal and bright nearly 5 year old boy. Obviously the reason I've been desperately trying for the last two years, have ERIC on speed dial, and am now tearing my hair out as mainstream reception approaches is because I am 'lazy' and 'can't be bothered'.

@legoplaybook oh my goodness you are such a genius, despite knowing about my kids autism for half his life I've definitely never thought to use a visual for toileting, despite the rest of our house being covered in visuals, I'll go and sort that out right now and I'm sure the issue will be fixed within a few moments, however did I manage without you??? I'm sure a picture of a toilet will cure my sweet child's deep and abiding fear and sensory aversions to pooing on the loo. If you could sort out his trauma response to handdryers that would be helpful too.

So as I said 4 nothing to do with training at 36 months..... unfortunately many in my area go into reception in nappies which is the problem

And if they don't Talking about toilet needs here. ? Or do you know my children better than I did?

And none of them have learning difficulties btw. Late speech runs in our family. By the age of 4 they all could speak well and read.

It's of course more difficult with children with learning difficulties or SEN (I doubt anyone would consider it lazy for a child with disabilities to be trained late!) but the vast majority of children can use signs and symbols even if they have a speech delay.

I did both of mine when they were ready, took 2 days. They were around their third birthdays.
I was absolutely bemused by friends chasing their toddlers around with potties for months on end, spending hours scrubbing rugs and carpets after daily accidents, just to meet some self imposed milestone "early".

And that helps in childcare when the staff don't know? eExactly how?

Hungry I knew as the either cried and rooted as babies or hovered around kitchen as toddlers.

Tired Well they got mizzhoggy and rubbed eyes. Needing a wee? Nope

Hopefully toilet trained and aren’t they going the term before they are 5?

Whereas all mine had no more than 6 words at 2 years 8 months. None of which were wee or poo

I’m not talking about those who genuinely can’t be bothered and send their kids to school in nappies so the teachers can do it. That’s obviously wrong.

But both of my kids were over 3 when they were trained. Had a few attempts before that but with both kids its was clear they weren’t ready and got upset so I left it.

I posted here for advice and was told I was lazy and cruel for leaving it so late. For context my dd was three in May so not especially late imo. But she did get it within a couple of days and 2 weeks on we have had no accidents at all.

To me it actually makes more sense to wait until they are a bit older and understand what they need to do and why. It made it a lot easier for all of us.

Children can communicate before they can speak. You knew if they were hungry or tired before they could speak too.

My son was 18 months and soon picked up the words ''wee'' and ''poo'' too.

@NavyRose here here!
It took me well over a year to potty train my ds but he had cracked it by 3.5 and was also dry overnight. It didn't help that he had some awful digestives issues that were making it hard for him to poo and he developed what seemed to be anxiety about doing a number 2 anywhere other than his nappy. I think I had 3 in person GP appointments and 3 phone consultations before I went private and we actually got some answers regarding the chronic constipation he had been experiencing. Absolute nightmare and set our potty training efforts back by a good few months.
None of the 3 day/oh crap stuff worked on my kid by the way. It just. Did. Not. Work.
But yeah, apparently I'm lazy.
Look, if that makes you mums whose kids potty trained at a "correct" age feel better about yourselves by comparison to a slovenly mum like me then go for it, bask in it, have a medal 🥇 you win.

Kids go into school at 4 so your point is?

Actually not true - ERIC say the earlier the better now - for most children- unless a medical need which is a small minority. Lots of great advice here https://eric.org.uk/potty-training/

Yes it’s not fair on teaching staff or TAs unless there are SN