Aibu to say no if my boyfriend proposes

If you're financially independent, own your own property, are ok about not legally being his family and implications for this if he were to be in intensive care, or die, and all the other legal protections marriage brings-yes, just keep him on as a boyfriend.
If you want to be married, discuss it with him.

The differences between marriage and just housemates: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

Sometimes life gets in the way. It’s as simple as that. My partner and I always meant to get married and despite him saying he would sort it just didn’t get around to it so I grabbed the opportunity instead and re-asked him and organised it myself. It was a fabulous day and we had an amazing time from start to finish. It was so good in fact he says we are going to re new our vows just to do it again. I’ll probably have to sort that too 😝

Are you working full time? Has your career taken a back seat due to children? What’s your living situation?

Depending on those factors you should seriously consider accepting a proposal if one comes. Marriage isn’t just a ‘compliment’ or a romantic commitment, its a legal contract to protect you and ensure a fair division of assets if you split. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

This exact scenario happened to a friend of mine. He proposed after 2 kids and about 10 years and despite having been desperate to get married, she said no because he'd taken too long. So she's still in an incredibly vulnerable financial position (went part time when kids were born), I couldn't believe it when she told me. It seems idiotic to me. Marriage is a practical, hard-headed decision when you are the vulnerable party. Protect yourself!

Would you regret saying no if he broke up with you because of your answer? It’s a real possibility…

You’re also missing out on the safety net of marriage if anything happens to him and you have young children together

Or you could look at it another way and think seeing as you dint ask him in 5 years you can't be much into.him.

The whole thing makes you sound about 12

Didn’t you have this discussion when you got pregnant? Why did you plan children together when you weren’t married, if marriage is what you wanted?

I think you should talk to him about it

Personally I agree with you. I think a proposal is a compliment- someone is so bowled over they want to commit to spending the rest of their life with you. If it takes them six years to decide you're "the one" then I can't see the compliment anymore.

A) seems an odd thread as a proposal doesn’t seem to be remotely on the horizon

B) in my head I told myself if he didn't propose in 5 years I'd say no, I feel if it's taken him this long then there's a reason, he just doesn't love me enough or something is stopping him, and you’d remain with him nonetheless despite thinking he doesn’t “love me enough” or that”something is stopping him”

C) we all know that if he proposed, you wouldn’t hesitate for a nano second and immediately get out all your hidden well-thumbed bride magazines

If a proposal had to happen within a certain timeframe, then surely you would have broken up when it didn’t happen? As it is, you want to be with him, want to be married, but now won’t even if he wants do because he didn’t follow som arbitrary rule you made?? It doesn’t make sense.

I’m 59 and do not understand why young women today need to wait for a man to ask them to marry them. Why can’t you have a grown up discussion and decide together to go and get married. It’s 2025 not 1925!

Has he even asked you?

Why don't you propose to him OP, and stop your weird behaviour?

Sounds like cutting off your nose to spite your face, tbh.