To not accommodate DH holiday plans

He wants you to "be nice"? Does he think you are 5 years old? "Be nice"??

Stick to your guns - I bet they all booked the trip including the Monday from the start. He's just dropped this on you now assuming you'll cave.

But it seems more like he's being difficult to prove a point?! You've specifically talked about this exact situation in the past, he's had to rearrange a whole holiday because of his lack of planning (which presumably you had some input into because of the circumstances) and despite all that, he has STILL found a way to demonstrate that he has no intention of looping you in on his travel plans by dropping this on you last minute.

The fact he thinks you're being difficult by sticking to what you agreed is deflecting the reality that he has done this to you in the expectation of guilting you into covering his arse.

If it were me, I'd be wondering if this was a deliberate 'fuck you' for not accommodating the trip in June - a way to inconvenience you in retaliation for the loss of face in having to rearrange the trip.

Actually - just read that you have meetings that day. So unless they're the kind of meetings that you really can reschedule or opt out of with no inconvenience to your colleagues, you're not being difficult to make a point. You have work commitments. End of, frankly.

You are being difficult to make a point, and so you should be - because the point in question has been discussed and he hasn't taken it in.

If I was in your situation, I would accommodate DP's plans if I could - ie, if I was able to flex my work without causing any inconvenience or unnecessary liaising with colleagues. That's because DP doesn't take the piss and assume I can flex my work, even though my work is quite flexible. If he needs me to be off work he will ask in advance before making any plans (and frankly he doesn't actually ever do this because he organises what he needs to do around the time he knows he has available).

But if someone's taking the piss even after you've had a proper discussion about it then sometimes yes, you need to be difficult to make the point.

I’d reframe this - you are not saying he has to reorganise his holiday. You’re just saying you can’t solve the childcare and other logistically problems it has created. Which, given it has changed from what you agreed, is more than reasonable.

I think we as women often swoop in and solve problems - even when they’re not ones we e created. Your DH has created the problem and - as an equal parent and partner - it’s his problem to solve.

Can't mess his mates around but can mess you around.

You are not being unreasonable

Are you staff that provides sex as well? And you have your own income so you don’t cost him anything, either.

He’s winning.

Well you are, but it’s a point that needs to be made.

This just makes his attitude worse Op, your work is more flexible to cover your DCs disability, not so he can go on lads outings. @coxesorangepippin is right, you've been too accommodating and now your DH just expects it, he doesn't see it as a favour anymore.

You are being difficult to make a point.

Because at some point, that point needs to be made. He made plans, you made plans, he should stick to those plans.

Stick to your guns this time OP. His temper tantrums are designed to make you give in. Again.

His mates are more important to him than childcare, he has no respect for you and thinks as he is male, that’s not his responsibility.

He's unreasonable and selfish expecting you to cancel work on extremely short notice so he can spend an extra day on vacation.

Given that your kid has complex medical needs, he's really pulling an asshole move.

Does he want you to lose your job so you stay home? Is he trying to sabotage that so he can fuck off whenever he pleases?

So, when he booked the additional day off with work he just forgot to tell you?

Sounds more like he enjoys making things difficult for you

Maybe 'the boys' can put him up for a while!

This. Happy to make your life more difficult with childcare and work. Not happy to make his mates more with a holiday.

He doesn’t respect you or your time at ALL.

When he is calm enough to talk to ask him if he thinks it is better for him, you and your family if he messes you around, or he messes his mates around?

And then book time away, change the dates 3 times, and leave him to cope.

How much annual leave does he get that he can take time twice a year for non family holidays?

When are you having a trip away!!

This is what happens when you accommodate people, and they then take advantage.

He, your husband, is taking advantage of your good nature, to your detriment.

He doesn't care if it inconveniences you.

He doesn't want to mess his mates around but is totally happy for you to mess your work around.

Great priorities.

This one is on him op

He has set hours and yours are more flexible but that doesn't mean he's entitled to expect you to change at the last minute. He agreed dates but added one on - when was he planning on telling you? In truth he doesn't think your job or your time are as important as not messing his mates around, shouting at you because you said No isn't on. In future it would be a flat refusal until he gets over his entitlement