To not accommodate DH holiday plans

Jesus how selfish and entitled.

He’s really milked the “my job is sooo stressful” hasn’t he?? Guess what lots of people have stressful jobs and manage without little R&R trips through the year.

Stick to your guns.

And get some trips away for you booked in sharpish.

Nope you were clear he agreed then has disregarded that in the hope of backing you into a corner so he does as he pleases.

Agree its his problem to resolve and yep it would be a hill I would die on too because its way way more then just an additional day its about respect and him ignoring his partner because he wishes to have a jolly!

Funny how he remembered to tell his work he needed an extra day due to the change of plan. But when it comes to family, he doesn't seem to be acknowledging that it even is a change of plan.

I think I must be old fashioned because it used to be that when people got married they went on holiday together but these days couples holiday separately many times a year and don't seem to even consider their OH while doing so.

Holidays are the good times so I don't see the point of even being married at all if you can't do the good bits as a family.

Your H sounds like a selfish cunt OP. YADNBU.

He’s taking an extra day off work because they want to stay for the Sunday night and travel back on the Monday.

Well he can't!

So before this he had planned to go back to work on the Monday?

Oh, that’s vile. Beyond the pale.

It sounds as if he values his own time much more than he values yours, and he takes you for granted and expects you to solve any problems that he creates. All deeply unattractive and concerning.

Is he careless at work too? Or does he manage not to cock up dates there?

You need to get some holidays in your diary and bugger off a bit more!

Nailed it

He's being a selfish dick. This is the hill I would die on!

Quite!

He has form for booking with his mates then telling me with minimal notice, which means I have to flex to cover my job and DC’s needs at last minute.

This is deeply unattractive. You have to bend over backwards to accommodate his needs.

I disagree with your thread tile, you are in fact fully facilitating his holiday plans, up to sunday evening as agreed, he has too late added an extra day, so he can un add it and come home sunday night, he still gets his holiday, it's what not even a full 24 hours early ? I am obviously missing information about how this messes his friends about. There has to be no change to their plans, or is there? I am also missing how messing his friends about would rank higher as a bad thing , than messing your employer about and the people who you have work meetings with on Monday.

Twice in the last 2 years. One of those was an overnight stay after visiting my seriously ill DF in hospital as it was too far to go and get back in a day. I remember DH asking why I was staying overnight and turning it into ‘a jolly’.

Bloody hell he's nasty!

So is he returning on the Sunday or not?

Because if he is & he has the Monday off what's the problem?

He sounds selfish and vile

I think that most of us are now of the opinion that holidays are the least of your problems, OP.

If it was me, id be saying to him that you intend to take the same amount of holiday time for yourself as he does. And that you will be booking places to go away to by yourself.

If he dares to argue about that then ask him to explain why he has holidays but doesn't want you to.

It's not what you asked in your OP, but I've got fixated upon the sheer brass neck of him taking so many holidays and leaving you to deal with the fallout. For every holiday he gets, you should get one. How is anything else remotely fair? Have you ever asked him that outright? What does he say in response?

He’s taking the mick big time - stand your ground.
It sounds like he’s having far too many holidays with his mates - what a nerve!!!

Don’t give in - he’s being selfish and ridiculous.

Quite destabilising isn’t it.

You have a far bigger problem than this boys trip

@NotWashingTowelsDaily OP, please hang onto jour job for your dear life.
It’s very difficult to find ones that fit in around the kids with additional kids.

As for your not so “D” H it’s truly shocking what he said when you were away to see to your ill father. Jolly,my arse. He should have been given both barrels for that.

Keep your job as if your H will FO one day when you’re already SAHM then you’re screwed.

You need to go into attack mode and tell him if he screws your job then you’re done and he can do 50/50. Empty threat but these types only do what are they suppose to when you have them by short and curlies.

He’s an adult and father and should behave like one.

Good luck 💐

So he goes on holiday twice a year with his mates? That’s when I stopped having any time for him. But wait, not only that but he doesn’t speak to you about what’s actually convenient for you, with your job and childcare.

He’s a prize CF. There’s absolutely no way you are being unreasonable @NotWashingTowelsDaily . @