To not want 3 dogs in my house?

So he has visited your home and so he knows that you have a small house, unsecured garden and new carpets...........yet he still proposed bringing his 3 dogs - two of which are not toilet trained - into your home????

Why are you dating such an absolute NUMPTY!?

He either hasn't got 2 brain cells to knock together or he doesn't give a damn what damage and mess his dogs will make in other people's homes.

Either way he's not a keeper surely???

I’ve got 4 dogs but wouldn’t expect anyone else to be ok with me taking them to their house. If you’re happy to go to his then that might work but if you’re together long term then they could become a sticking point.

Are you compatible? I live a different lifestyle now as a dog owner than I did beforehand. You can adapt for short periods of time but sounds like normal life/ routine needs to resume for him.

You don’t have to have his dogs in your home, particularly puppies who are not toilet trained (hopefully that changes as they are usually fully house trained by 15-16 weeks) but do you want to be with someone with dogs anyway? Someone with three dogs is likely to be walking miles each week and spending their weekends hiking with the dogs. Depending on breed, they are likely to live a good 10-15 years!

He has two dogs that aren't house trained, so no, they can't come to your house.

You can hang out at his house, although unless you're happy with that situation continuing for the next decade then I think you'd be better off looking for someone with a more compatible lifestyle.

This.

No. I wouldn't have them at my place,

But I see a bloke with 3 dogs, two of which are not house trained, as a big red flag anyway. Why aren't the dogs house trained? It's the absolute basics of owning a dog.

YANBU - but then I operate an animal free home so probably dating someone with 3 dogs wouldn’t be for me.

Not unreasonable at all. To be honest, I’d never date anyone with dogs as they would inevitably want to bring them into my home. And that’s a definite no for me.

Not unreasonable. But could be a deal breaker. Say you stay at his as you've just got new flooring and his dogs aren't house-trained

I would say no to 3 dogs too. However, he can’t keep leaving them at home that often. You are going to need to be the person who travels.

What's the story behind him having three dogs op? Which breed/s?

It's not unreasonable to say no, surely if he's decent he'll understand. And if not, it tells you something about his priorities which is best learnt early on...

Your house your rules. I love my one, small, well trained dog to bits. I’d never expect anyone to welcome her into their house.

Are the dogs rescues or puppies that they aren’t yet toilet trained? No way would I have potential dog piss in my new house. They’ll also wreck your garden. My lawn is dire after many years of dogs galloping across it, although they are trained not to pee on it and stick to the periphery.

I’d be reconsidering this relationship . Why are the dogs not house trained? YANBU to not want them at your house .

I'd not be happy with non-house trained dogs..

I wonder how you think he can house train his dogs if he is leaving them alone/with a minder, for long periods to stay with you.

If you want this to work you're going to need to make some compromises - like assisting in house training and getting them comfortable at your place one at a time, then two at a time, then all three, for short visits; spending more time at his place.

Or end it.

This isn’t going to work. A dog owner who hasn’t properly house trained 2 of them is a non starter.

Of course you can say no. Dont expect the relationship to last though. It's going to cost him a fortune to get a dog sitter every time he wants to stay the night.

Also these dogs aren't going anywhere, you sound quite house-proud, in two or three years time when you want to move in together what are you planning?

Can you not just spend more time at his?

Surely he understands how expensive carpets are and that you wouldn't be exactly happy to have 'little accidents' ruining them after you've paid out so much?

Good dog owners will prioritise their pets but that shouldn't be at your expense.

How does a single bloke manage to care for 3 dogs on a consistent basis anyhow. Does he work? Are they left for 8+ hours per day? Does someone else look after them?

The answers to that lot might give an indication of the man

I didn’t want three dogs in my house either. So I got a fourth..lol, sorry. Seriously though op, three dogs is a lot of work and commitment and I can understand why you wouldn’t want them in your house. See him at his place if it’s easier (although he might be a bit hurt about your lack of enthusiasm for his dogs, given he had them before you met). I see my partner at mine most of the time for the same reason - easier all round.

I say this as a dog lover and someone who has owned multiple dogs.

NO.

Your house would be a wreck in a month. Seriously. Two of his dogs aren't even housetrained. You yard is not fully fenced and secure.

Your house will be peed in, shat in, thrown up in, dog fur everywhere, and he won't be paying for new carpet or furniture or things his dogs break.

What if his dogs are barkers? Are your neighbors cool with that?

It's a very unreasonable ask. He can shell out for dog sitting if his family and friends are sick of doing it for free.

Just how new is this relationship? Either go to his or he gets dog sitters. He should be investing in dog training if his dogs aren't even housebroken. WTF.

YANBU to suggest going to his place more often, instead of his bringing the dogs with him to yours, but as PP have said, I'd only continue this relationship if you'd be happy living full time with these dogs for the next decade or so. If you move in to a new place together and want to upgrade to new carpets and furniture, will you be okay with the dogs contributing to wear and tear?

As a lifelong dog-owner, I know I must factor them into all my decor choices and accept that they'll occasionally vomit on the floor, constantly shed fur absolutely everywhere, track dirt in on their paws, and so on.

Not a chance in hell would I be having 3 dogs in my home. The fact they're untrained makes it even worse.

It’s tough isn’t it, as you like this guy, his pets shouldn’t be a deal breaker. It’s a shame he has so many, one would suffice!!

I think you’re going to have to think about how this will work long term, but for now, I think it’s best you have an arrangement where say, in a month you go to his three weekends, and the fourth weekend he can get his brother and friend to help, if they’re happy doing it once a month or so? But I do think you need to stick to your guns with not letting them come to your house.

When my boyfriend and I first met, he would mostly stay at mine as I have a cat and couldn’t just leave her. It worked well as he was the one travelling, but I felt more like I was “hosting” so it was a good balance of fairness.

Yanbu. Could you not stay more at his place? The room and the chance of them escaping would surely mean your house isn't suitable for them.
I love dogs BTW but I I wouldn't risk having them where they might get out and nor would I want to have to deep clean my carpets because one of them peed or poohed.