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Original poster

Reasonable cause for murder?

38 replies

needheadphonesnow · 06/08/2025 11:24

I'm working at home today. Husband is waiting to start a new job next week and so is also home.

I cannot believe how much fucking noise he's making. He's been slamming cupboards, sneezing, coughing and sniffing at levels that are making me flinch and making me feel disgusted, doing a loud 'ahhhhhhhh' after every slurping sip of tea. I just had a quick call with a colleague and she asked if I had builders in...

I can kill him, right? I've told him to be quiet already.

OP posts:
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TheignT · 14/08/2025 17:00

If women were having a moan about their husbands my gran would say "never mind dear you'll get a few years peace at the end.". Referencing men dying younger. I used to think it was a terrible thing to say but maybe she was right.

jeaux90 · 14/08/2025 08:11

My partner recently moved in. Been together 7 years. I always take the piss out of his “man noises” and play him this regularly.

https://youtube.com/shorts/9yjQZLnbHaE?si=h85595v3tffuNQhw

Francestein · 14/08/2025 08:09

Put him out of YOUR misery. Sorrows, Sorrows, Prayers, Prayers…

justabigdisco · 14/08/2025 07:59

LittleBoost · 06/08/2025 11:32

Perfectly fine.
I work from home sharing a home office with my DP. How he's not been fed through a fucking woodchipper by now I'll never know.

He breathes weirdly. He takes an in-breath, holds it for about 10 seconds and then exhales. Then he does it again. And again. And then every five breaths or so, he'll hold it for absolutely ages to the point where I feel like I have to remind him to breathe out. And then he does but its a massive puff of air which is noisy and wakes up the dog.

I find myself unconsciously altering my own breathing so I end up feeling breathless and a bit panicky.

Yesterday he was pissing me off so much that I ordered him to go to the gym (he was toying with it anyway) just to avoid murder.

Sending your strength, OP.

MY HUSBAND ALSO DOES THIS

TheignT · 14/08/2025 07:55

ChompandaGrazia · 13/08/2025 23:20

I think it’s the menopause, possibly kids leaving home and looking down the barrel of retirement.

Show quote history

Retirement is a big part of it. I'll say no more.

ChompandaGrazia · 13/08/2025 23:20

TheHorticulturalHussy · 13/08/2025 17:25

Something happens around the 30 year mark I think. Before that you can tell yourself to let it go, don't let it get to you, don't sweat the small stuff and other nice, kind and tolerant thoughts. You love him, right? And then suddenly one day there's a cumulative, horrifying realisation that the sundry sighs, snorts, groans, slurps, sniffs, mutterings and frankly quite obsessive habits are the soundtrack to your life. And bam, there you are, contemplating murder and googling sentencing guidelines.
Oh wait, maybe that's just me?

Show quote history

I think it’s the menopause, possibly kids leaving home and looking down the barrel of retirement.

TheHorticulturalHussy · 13/08/2025 17:25

Luckyingame · 06/08/2025 16:17

YANBU, 😆 but....
Why are so many married people so irritated with each other?
(Married for 20 years, just don't let it get to me, mostly).

Something happens around the 30 year mark I think. Before that you can tell yourself to let it go, don't let it get to you, don't sweat the small stuff and other nice, kind and tolerant thoughts. You love him, right? And then suddenly one day there's a cumulative, horrifying realisation that the sundry sighs, snorts, groans, slurps, sniffs, mutterings and frankly quite obsessive habits are the soundtrack to your life. And bam, there you are, contemplating murder and googling sentencing guidelines.
Oh wait, maybe that's just me?

SunsetCocktails · 06/08/2025 16:42

“She asked if I had builders in”

😂😂

CoastalCalm · 06/08/2025 16:24

Oh god I’ve just had flashback to furlough time while I was wfh - how he survived I’ll never know

Luckyingame · 06/08/2025 16:17

YANBU, 😆 but....
Why are so many married people so irritated with each other?
(Married for 20 years, just don't let it get to me, mostly).

Clementina49er · 06/08/2025 15:51

Mellowisp · 06/08/2025 15:42

How in the heck do women cope when their DHs retire? I'm genuinely afraid of my future actions. Man spreading on the sofa, farting, sucking his teeth, mouth breathing, jaw clicking and scratching his balls. Is murder not inevitable?

This is what worries me..... We're both on annual leave at home at the moment but it's giving me an unpleasant foretaste of what life will be like when we retire.

travailtotravel · 06/08/2025 15:49

Yes. H (possibly STBX) sniffs, hums to himself, every other word is 'literally', sits on his arse watching cricket and golf, says he'll clean then does a half arsed job of it. He's just retired and I'm wondering what the point of him is!

Mellowisp · 06/08/2025 15:42

How in the heck do women cope when their DHs retire? I'm genuinely afraid of my future actions. Man spreading on the sofa, farting, sucking his teeth, mouth breathing, jaw clicking and scratching his balls. Is murder not inevitable?

RightOnTheEdge · 06/08/2025 15:01

Haha! 😄 I wish we still had the laugh react.
This thread is making me lol, and be very glad I'm single 😆

Thanksman · 06/08/2025 14:51

youreactinglikeafunmum · 06/08/2025 14:39

I mean, we say ltb but I think its perfectly acceptable to say 'ktb' xx

Yes, it’s not really considered ltb material but given the slow burning fury it causes, it’s much more rational to ktb.

I am definitely going to record it at some point.

ChompandaGrazia · 06/08/2025 14:50

It can’t have been you that did it, because you are sat in the garden with me right now.

Thanksman · 06/08/2025 14:48

I want to know if missingducks’ husband is still in bed….

PhoenixReincarnated · 06/08/2025 14:46

I'm only surprised he's still alive 🤔😂

youreactinglikeafunmum · 06/08/2025 14:39

I mean, we say ltb but I think its perfectly acceptable to say 'ktb' xx

Missingducks · 06/08/2025 12:37

Another vote for perfectly acceptable here. And in return you will agree that I had to cover my DH's face with a pillow to block out the snores and then when it went quiet I simply fell asleep and didn't realise it hadn't been removed again.

HarperStern · 06/08/2025 12:27

You would all have killed my DH years ago. He can't work on his computer without giving a running commentary of hmms and sighs and under-the-breath mutterings and mirthless laughs. And he works on his computer all day and night. Luckily we have a spare room he can do it in or he would not be here today.

BeGreyFinch · 06/08/2025 12:22

Give him the last warning and then the next time it happens, do it. Completely reasonable.

Peccary · 06/08/2025 12:21

Justified, we are both WFH today and I don't get why DH needs to move so much in his creaky office chair

bridgetreilly · 06/08/2025 12:16

Send him out for the day. Every day.

Roseblooms7 · 06/08/2025 12:10

This is why my DH do not live together. I would have murdered him a long time ago.