Neighbour asked me to babysit her child whilst she works

If she wants to you have the baby at your house that is childminding, not babysitting. In order to childmind you need to be OFSTED registered which you’re not so sorry but you can’t look after her child.

Don’t feel bad, you work part time and spend time with your son. That is your life and should be your priority. Please don’t let someone else guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do. It’s taken me a long time to learn to put myself first and say no after years of running myself ragged trying to please everyone.

Don’t feel bad.i would suggest to her she speaks to her employer and asks for emergency leave for a couple of days to sort childcare and she finds another nursery

it was a question not an expectation FGS.

She sounds at the end of her tether, and in OPs position i would offer a day or an afternoon while she sorts out some other permanent childcare.

Advancing a job application? it doesn't hurt to ask, does it? OP can just say "no, sorry" and leave it at that

Giving a bit of info about what the company is like to work for etc would be kind and friendly and helpful to a woman who is clearly at the end of her tether.

(And this is why we end up with endless threads by women who feel put upon by various people and ask why men aren't put upon in the same way.)

You say - No I can’t do that. I have enough on my own plate as it is. I can’t do what you are asking.

Homestart don't babysit whilst parents are working all day,

Op it is absolutely fine to say no she sounds desperate and that can make people cheeky but it isn't your issue.

Don't feel bad. Its sad for her but not uour problem. Even if it's a one-off, it sets a precedent that can become an expectation. I know this from experience and I learnt my lesson fast!!

I would direct her to the Work From Home Hub website for jobs.

My phone screen is cracked and I genuinely read that as directing her to porn hub for work 🤣

Aside from that, it's not the OP's responsibility to direct her anywhere.

The message needs to be clear and consistent - I can't help.

No, "Sorry"; no, "Well I might be able to..."; no, "Have you looked at...'

Nothing.

Do not get involved OP.
She is looking for someone to use.
Keep your distance and your business to yourself.

I think if anyone needs to be understanding and give her a bit of support in the short term here, it’s her employer; it’s certainly not you. It sounds like there are other people in her life who could help. Sorry to say it sounds like if you give an inch she’ll look to take a lot more.

Given your latest post then absolutely YANBU. You want it to be limited to a 'hello' relationship so don't be pressured into going beyond that. What you've said about her using the Ring to swoop on people for favours is CF territory and you're totally justified in backing right off. Definitely don't involve her in your work. Can you imagine how much she'll want to talk/befriend/use you after that?!

Because some people are nice and like to help others. Of course it isn't her responsibility, doesn't stop her helping if she wants to.

What?? Why should the OP ‘point her in the direction’ of anything? It’s not the OPs job to research local childcare for her neighbour ffs!

Babysitters care for a child in the child’s home though - I thought that was the distinction?

Th, this situation is the opposite of tricky.

It's an obvious, doubtless and absolute no. Not at all. Under any circumstances.

This is not someone you want to invite into your life in any way.

People like this need even firmer boundaries than you'd normally have not fewer because they're struggling.

YANBU to say no. Asides from the legalities of being paid to care for her child in your home, an 11 month old needs full attention and you can't do that and work. You also don't know what the incident is. Maybe it was poor care by nursery, but it could also be she's run up arrears. She'll have to look for other nurseries or childminders.

I would direct her to the Work From Home Hub website for jobs.

I think - as long as you trust her, and she clearly trusts you - that an occasional reciprocal arrangement between two neighbours to occasionally look after each other kids is a lovely thing.

But yeah, an unregulated paid regular arrangement is just not on for so many reasons.

AIBU that I said I couldn’t help?

Obviously not. She may be in a bind, but that is quite a massive assumption for her to make and to put that on a neighbour. Personally I wouldn't even do it as a one-off after that. You gave a reasonable response and, although it's sad for her, you don't owe her anything, she's not family or a friend - and it's a baby

I'd probably have offered to help as a one off if I could, but not as an ongoing thing. And it sounds like you might've got tied in, so on balance you probably did the right thing.

For the people saying being paid to care for children is illegal if you aren't a registered childminder, that's nonsense. Teenagers have been babysitting for pocket money for time immemorial!

You can feel bad for her while not feeling bad for either saying no ( for any reason) or for not having the personal capacity to help.

OP, I wouldn't do it.
One day as a favour will either turn in to a regular arrangement or she will put emotional pressure/blackmail on you so that you back down.
Or knock on your door randomly with child in her arms asking for ''just once, only once, please as I am desperate''

Even if she's not paying you, you can tell her it's not something you want to get involved in. Case here I remember from 2009

With your update, she sounds like an absolute bloody chancer quite frankly

Do not get involved, even for a day. You’ll never got rid of her

Cross posted with your last post - honestly she sounds nuts and you should steer well clear. Don't help her to get a job in your workplace - if it all went pear shaped that would bounce back onto you!

I wouldn’t feel bad or guilty, it’s your right to say no for what ever reason. At the end of the day she may well be in a difficult position with childcare but that’s not down to you to fix it. She needs to sort this out herself weather that be getting child into another nursery or changing her hours with work. If she wants a remote working job then surely she can job search herself. Seems to me she is just looking for an easy way out of things.