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AIBU?

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My neighbour is threatening to report me for “benefit fraud”

216 replies

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 08:39

I’m currently signed off sick from work after an operation last week. My street is full of gossips (to put it nicely) so the entire street knows why I’m off. Brill.

For full disclosure, the relationship with this neighbour is rocky at best. She’s screamed abuse at me and my family in the street before, she watched everyone from her window and films people walking past very regularly.

I decided that I felt well enough for a short walk yesterday, so my mum came over and offered we went. I think we were out for about half an hour, with a break halfway.

This morning as soon as she’s seen I’m up (lights on, curtains open etc) she’s banging on my door saying she’s contacted my work and “the government” to report that I’m “committing fraud”. I’m talking shouting, banging my door so hard I thought she’d break the glass, slapping the front windows. It’s all on the ring camera.

I’m not on SSP, as I get occupational sick pay, and after my walk I slept for three hours! WIBU to just tell her to do one and to leave me alone?

OP posts:
bellabasset · 06/08/2025 09:25

As you know you have done nothing wrong I would contact the police and let them look at the CCTV as this is harassment or even a hate crime I would think. Ideally you wouldn't report a neighbour but this behaviour is extreme.

Unforgettablefire · 06/08/2025 09:23

Police and council. My Dd is in a private rented flat and is going through similar. The council have given her recording equipment and she also has ring doorbell and the police have warned the woman responsible.
Your neighbour probably has history and maybe known to the police so definitely contact them they do take it seriously as do the council.

swampwitch0 · 06/08/2025 09:23

Good grief.
Phone the police. Report her for harrassment.
If you have some spare cash get a solicitor to write a cease and desist letter.
Contact the LA ASB department ,your MP and local parish councillor too.
Sadly I've had experience of people like this and they are usually quite mentally ill.
Mums neighbour ended up getting sectioned.
You need to start a paper trail NOW.

Chipotlego · 06/08/2025 09:23

I agree with others that logging with 101 is probably a good shout given the other behaviours as well.

Going for a walk if and when you feel able is good for recovery, so although if she did make a complaint it wouldn't get anywhere, you dont need the stress from it do you. Hope youre feeling fully recovered soon.

Lovingbooks · 06/08/2025 09:22

If she really has contacted your work I’m sure they won’t have given her the time of day. If you are not claiming benefits then she can’t do anything further. If you have a ring doorbell just keep the evidence of her outburst. Stop sharing personal information with the neighbours.

SpaceRaccoon · 06/08/2025 09:21

Victim blame?
The Op knows the Op is “full of gossips”
so it’s not victim blaming to say… stop telling people your health issues of you don’t want it gossiped about and reaching the psycho neighbour 🤷♀️

Conversely - why should the OPs normal friendships with her gossipy but nice neighbours have to be curtailed because of one psychopath?

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 09:21

noctilucentcloud · 06/08/2025 09:19

I'd of done the same because otherwise the older lady you visit (and other neighbours) would've worried. The issue is your slightly crazy neighbour, even if you hadn't said anything to any neighbours, I think she'd of realised you were home more or spotted you looking sore or coming home from hospital groggy etc.

Please keep going for walks when you feel able.

They’ve all been so lovely too, one of them has been bringing me lunches everyday 😭 it’s sort of a catch 22. But all in I’m glad I told them as I wouldn’t have wanted them worrying!

OP posts:
Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 09:20

SpaceRaccoon · 06/08/2025 09:19

The spelling is discreet, btw, not discrete.

🙏

Frogs88 · 06/08/2025 09:20

I would report it to the police. If there’s been previous reports from other neighbours then they might go around and have a talk to her. Sounds like harassment and I wouldn’t be tolerating it as you never know how much it’s going to escalate.

SpaceRaccoon · 06/08/2025 09:19

The spelling is discreet, btw, not discrete.

noctilucentcloud · 06/08/2025 09:19

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 08:45

A lot of the neighbours are really quite friendly! I don’t mind it overly, I’m quite good friends with one of the old ladies who lives a few doors down. She’s basically my adopted nan at this point. I told her I’d be getting this surgery so couldn’t come and see her for a couple of weeks, and told some of the others I get on with!

I'd of done the same because otherwise the older lady you visit (and other neighbours) would've worried. The issue is your slightly crazy neighbour, even if you hadn't said anything to any neighbours, I think she'd of realised you were home more or spotted you looking sore or coming home from hospital groggy etc.

Please keep going for walks when you feel able.

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 09:19

SpaceRaccoon · 06/08/2025 09:17

Fuck me, MN posters never pass up on an opportunity to victim-blame, no matter how spurious.

Victim blame?

The Op knows the Op is “full of gossips”

so it’s not victim blaming to say… stop telling people your health issues of you don’t want it gossiped about and reaching the psycho neighbour 🤷♀️

SpaceRaccoon · 06/08/2025 09:17

Fuck me, MN posters never pass up on an opportunity to victim-blame, no matter how spurious.

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 09:17

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/08/2025 09:16

And how would @AugustSlippedAwayInto explain to the elderly neighbour she visits regularly that she won’t be able to do so after her surgery, without telling her about the surgery, @Awaywiththegnomes?

@AugustSlippedAwayInto - this neighbour sounds horrible - I agree with the posters who have said you should phone the police about this incident.

This dear old elderly neighbour is gossiping about the OP’s health with others

If you can’t trust someone to be discrete about a health issue you don’t want to be gossiped about, best keep it to yourself

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 09:16

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 09:15

Anyway, I can see her stood in her front garden looking right into my living room. Proper wrongun behaviour that!! I might give 101 a call

Will you? If you are, best do it now whilst she’s actually there

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/08/2025 09:16

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 08:56

You say your street is “full of gossips”

So if you don’t want your health gossiped about…. Wait for it…. Keep it to yourself 🤷♀️

And how would @AugustSlippedAwayInto explain to the elderly neighbour she visits regularly that she won’t be able to do so after her surgery, without telling her about the surgery, @Awaywiththegnomes?

@AugustSlippedAwayInto - this neighbour sounds horrible - I agree with the posters who have said you should phone the police about this incident.

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 09:15

Anyway, I can see her stood in her front garden looking right into my living room. Proper wrongun behaviour that!! I might give 101 a call

OP posts:
Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 09:15

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 09:10

I didn't pass judgment on whether it's a bad thing though, they're all gossips but it's in the small town way.

If you don’t like them gossiping about your health op

don’t tell them

it really is that simple

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 09:14

CitizenofMoronia · 06/08/2025 09:12

What's this got to do with the original post? Even if the Op had gone up and TOLD the nutter next door about the operation, it STILL doesn't excuse banging on the window,s threatening to contact work and "the Gov" over going for a flaming walk when you're on the sick.

The original thread was about being reported for benefit fraud

so if we are strictly focussing on that , then given the Op is not receiving benefits…. Non issue

CitizenofMoronia · 06/08/2025 09:12

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 09:09

A rather different picture to the one you painted on your Op

My street is full of gossips (to put it nicely)

Now…. We’re like family and it’s wonderful!!

What's this got to do with the original post? Even if the Op had gone up and TOLD the nutter next door about the operation, it STILL doesn't excuse banging on the window,s threatening to contact work and "the Gov" over going for a flaming walk when you're on the sick.

Coffeeishot · 06/08/2025 09:11

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 09:08

One of my neighbours is ex-police and tried to report her this time last year when she had a particularly bad day of screaming abuse in the street, but nothing ever came of it. I think the police take the view that it's more mental health than their remit.

Well if you don't want to you are just going to have to blank her and let her rant in the street, just shut the door in her face if she comes.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 06/08/2025 09:11

Goodness, a lot of people seem absolutely determined to pick holes (normal for AIBU, of course). Two things (at least) can be true at once:

  1. It's sometimes annoying for people to know all your business and talk to others about it.
  2. It's sometimes extremely useful for people to know all your business and take an interest in your welfare.
AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 09:10

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 09:09

A rather different picture to the one you painted on your Op

My street is full of gossips (to put it nicely)

Now…. We’re like family and it’s wonderful!!

I didn't pass judgment on whether it's a bad thing though, they're all gossips but it's in the small town way.

OP posts:
Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 09:09

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 09:07

I've said so many times though, this is normal for where I live. I'm in a small town, we all know each other and look out for each other. We keep an eye on each other and make sure we're all okay, it was lovely during Covid when we all came together to look after one another and get people the help they needed.

A rather different picture to the one you painted on your Op

My street is full of gossips (to put it nicely)

Now…. We’re like family and it’s wonderful!!

Lemonadeat8 · 06/08/2025 09:08

I would scream in her face and make it clear that she never speaks to me again!!

Stop telling anyone your business.

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