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AIBU?

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My neighbour is threatening to report me for “benefit fraud”

216 replies

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 08:39

I’m currently signed off sick from work after an operation last week. My street is full of gossips (to put it nicely) so the entire street knows why I’m off. Brill.

For full disclosure, the relationship with this neighbour is rocky at best. She’s screamed abuse at me and my family in the street before, she watched everyone from her window and films people walking past very regularly.

I decided that I felt well enough for a short walk yesterday, so my mum came over and offered we went. I think we were out for about half an hour, with a break halfway.

This morning as soon as she’s seen I’m up (lights on, curtains open etc) she’s banging on my door saying she’s contacted my work and “the government” to report that I’m “committing fraud”. I’m talking shouting, banging my door so hard I thought she’d break the glass, slapping the front windows. It’s all on the ring camera.

I’m not on SSP, as I get occupational sick pay, and after my walk I slept for three hours! WIBU to just tell her to do one and to leave me alone?

OP posts:
Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 13:05

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 11:08

In this instance I think it’s because of her sister, who has pretty severe mental health issues, and apparently her parents had them too (but I didn’t live here then).

Bloody hell this street…. Sounds ghastly all the gossiping about really initiate things

Bingbopboomboomboombopbaam · 06/08/2025 12:45

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 06/08/2025 12:43

And? None of that excuses her behaviour. None of it.

It’s like MN bingo.

I’m just waiting for someone to pop up to suggest that maybe she’s also “on the spectrum.”

But I’m not excusing it so I’m not sure why you’ve decided to pester me with your bs?

All I said is to keep reporting it because she’s obviously mentally unwell. If there are enough reports it will be dealt with at some point.

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 06/08/2025 12:43

This reply has been deleted

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And? None of that excuses her behaviour. None of it.

It’s like MN bingo.

I’m just waiting for someone to pop up to suggest that maybe she’s also “on the spectrum.”

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 12:36

A PCSO has been over, and has said at the moment it’s not criminal, but to keep sending in things as and when they happen. He could see her stood in her front window filming, but said because it’s not me she was filming, he can’t do anything!

OP posts:
Bingbopboomboomboombopbaam · 06/08/2025 12:34

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MyBrightPeer · 06/08/2025 12:05

This is harassment and you should report it to the police. You’re not committing any sort of fraud! She sounds absolutely vile.

Hankunamatata · 06/08/2025 11:57

Id ring 101 to record the incident

Iamtarticus · 06/08/2025 11:35

Put something like this in you window looking out

My neighbour is threatening to report me for “benefit fraud”
TheignT · 06/08/2025 11:31

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 09:00

Yes we’re a small town, everyone knows everyone and looks out for each other. I didn’t want my neighbours to panic if they didn’t see me for a few days! Totally normal where I live

Honestly you are entitled to tell anyone you choose. Take out a full page advert in the local paper if you like. Why people feel like lecturing you about what you can tell friends or neighbours is beyond me.

Hope your recovery is going well despite the woman nextdoor

JessicaC1992 · 06/08/2025 11:26

Just ignore her

istheresomethingishouldsay · 06/08/2025 11:23

QuarkQuarkPoshDuck · 06/08/2025 10:34

Why are you bothering to waste energy over this? She's clearly deranged!

If she threatened to call your work, just smile at her, say "OK, have a nice day" then close your door.

She's just looking for a reaction.

A reaction?

She's harassing the OP and now repeatedly contacting OP's place of employment.

'Ok have a nice day' doesn't work with people like this.

istheresomethingishouldsay · 06/08/2025 11:21

pinkstripeycat · 06/08/2025 10:16

No wonder the police don’t come in an emergency as they’re dealing with rubbish like this.

All those saying call the police, you need to realise that most police paperwork is crap like this and they spend hours and hours dealing with it.

Maybe call the neighbourhood team or a PCSO to have a word with her and then you won’t be wasting police time.

She didn't call 999. She called the 101 number for advice and logging. As she should. It's very concerning and intimidating behaviour. Imagine you wouldn't like it if someone was doing this to you regularly in your own home.

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 06/08/2025 11:21

Bingbopboomboomboombopbaam · 06/08/2025 10:44

You need to report and keep reporting.

You’re doing her a favour by doing so. She’s obviously mentally ill and doesn’t have anyone around to look out for her.

Oh the mental health excuse is so tedious.

She’s an unhinged bitch is all. Who cares if she’s mentally ill, unless that means someone’s going to lock her up for everyone else’s safety.

Honestly I’m so sick of every unhinged behaviour being put down to “obviously needs help/is mentally ill/is a victim” give it a bloody rest ffs.

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 11:17

LemondrizzleShark · 06/08/2025 11:12

Perhaps OP is quite ok with her health being gossiped about but not ok with a deranged woman hammering on her door and screaming at her?

When I say gossips I don’t mean nasty (well sometimes it can be, but thats life!), it’s more “oh August has had an op, who’s going to take her dinners”, which is honestly heartwarming. Makes me feel like I have a street of grannies looking after me!🥹

OP posts:
LemondrizzleShark · 06/08/2025 11:12

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 08:56

You say your street is “full of gossips”

So if you don’t want your health gossiped about…. Wait for it…. Keep it to yourself 🤷♀️

Perhaps OP is quite ok with her health being gossiped about but not ok with a deranged woman hammering on her door and screaming at her?

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 11:08

JudgeJ · 06/08/2025 10:57

Why is appalling behaviour always put down to mental health, she's a nasty piece of work, that's all, no excuses.

In this instance I think it’s because of her sister, who has pretty severe mental health issues, and apparently her parents had them too (but I didn’t live here then).

OP posts:
DiscoBob · 06/08/2025 11:01

Utterly bizarre. I think you should tell the police she's been harassing you, and has admitted she's falsely accused you of a crime.

Also speak to your work and try and find out of it's true she did contact them. And if so obviously explain she's bonkers and has been harassing you.

JudgeJ · 06/08/2025 10:57

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 08:43

She’s had the police there the other day - nobody knows why (though I’m sure I could find out if I could be bothered!)

Shes absolutely insane. She’s managed to fall out with everyone on the street, and we suspect she’s got mental health issues, but refuses to engage with the system.

Why is appalling behaviour always put down to mental health, she's a nasty piece of work, that's all, no excuses.

Ramblingaway · 06/08/2025 10:57

Two options come to mind. The first is to contact the police again, and ask them to perform a welfare check on her, as you have concerns for her mental health. The second is, if your surgery relates to a disability, then her behaviour could be classed as a hate crime, and should be reported as such. I think both these options would get a quicker response from the police than reporting as harassment. I asked for a welfare check on a neighbour before, and they came pretty quickly. As I suspected, the banging noises he was making was actually him banging his own head on the wall and social services did have involvement. So the police check lead to social services being notified that he wasn't coping with independent living.

KatieNutKins · 06/08/2025 10:48

She needs to find something better to do. Report to police for harassment.

Bingbopboomboomboombopbaam · 06/08/2025 10:44

You need to report and keep reporting.

You’re doing her a favour by doing so. She’s obviously mentally ill and doesn’t have anyone around to look out for her.

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 10:44

Starlight7080 · 06/08/2025 10:43

Wow she is unhinged. Its good you have reported it. The more people who do means at somepoint the police will have to do something .
But I would also in future keep personal details that you give to other neighbours to the basics.
They obviously tell her and it just adds to her madness.
How old is she?

I'd say anywhere between 45 & 55.

Apparently she and her sister inherited the house from their parents, plus a significant sum of money, about 10-ish years ago. So they're mortgage free, and she spends her days spying on us all

OP posts:
housethatbuiltme · 06/08/2025 10:44

Also as for the banging.

I had a nuts neighbor like this (although he was male and I was a young mother alone with my toddler) try to kick my door down. I phoned the local police as it happened and they heard it all on the phone. They came straight out and he tried to lie but they had recorded the call. They gave him a no contact order to stay away from us and he did then moved about a year later.

PainWiseMum · 06/08/2025 10:44

Newnames123 · 06/08/2025 08:40

Yup she's mad. But also is it bordering harassment? Maybe worth a call to 101.

Its shameful not right to threat anyone we should have to take an action.

AugustSlippedAwayInto · 06/08/2025 10:43

beAsensible1 · 06/08/2025 10:38

Jesus. Yes I think 101 is the right call and potentially any sort of order for her to keep her distance and stop phoning you.

how the hell has she got your work number!

Again, small town, she's encountered me in a work context before (she's come into my place of work). It's actually quite disconcerting that she's going to all these lengths because I went for a walk... She'll have kittens when I go to my hospital appointment later!

OP posts:
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